funny pictures, episode 1

Today I’m gonna show you some funny pictures.  I have quite a stash of them in my inventory, and everyone likes seeing funny pictures, right?  [All together now: “YAY!”]

This isn’t an official caption contest, but that doesn’t matter.  If you think of something funny to add to these pics in way of a caption, have at it.  Share the humor.  That way, instead of just you laughing, countless untold dozens of people get to laugh also.  Maybe somebody will even go so far as to think you’re funny!  (It could happen…)

FYI, some of them you might be able to click on to access a larger version.  Now, on to the pictures!  Ready… set… SCROLL!

Perhaps this should be retitled "Magazine for Wussy Men"...
Perhaps this should be retitled "Magazine for Wussy Men"...
I have no idea what's going on here...
I have no idea what's going on here...

man-with-sign-need-karate-lessons

I know some people who should sign up...
I know some people who should sign up...
Obviously fake, but it would be awesome if he had one.
Obviously fake, but it would be awesome if he had one.
Here is a time to be bipartisan...
Here is a time to be bipartisan...

That concludes our introductory pilot episode of funny pictures.  I’m creating a category for it, so you can click on it to quickly find the other ones (later).  Also of note, there have been funny pictures posted previously, particularly in the “Say What?” caption contests.

a new product to handle flatulence

You know how there’s those breath strips (skrips) like Listerine “PocketPaks” where you can put one on your tongue and it dissolves to create fresher breath?  Those were a good idea.  But I’ve got an idea to take that concept much farther.

I have the Buffet o’ Blog R&D (Research & Development) department working on some strips that will dissolve into thin air.  The purpose of these will be for those people who insist on passing gas near your comfort zone.  (You know who you are!)  These strips can be used to cover up your own fart slip, or they can be used when a friend rips one near you and walks away.  These strips will have cleansing bubbles that remove the malodorous methane-based odor from the air, leaving only fresh air behind, with a hint of citrus.  We may make other flavors available, such as mountain meadows, but they’ll be worked on once the product is fully working properly.

If the carefully formulated formula formulates as planned, you could actually leave a strip (or two) in your underdrawers (drawz) for those days when you have a rumbly in your tumbly and there’s a forecast of thunder from down under.  Then you’ll be able to break wind while in important meetings at work (as long as you keep the volume down).  Coworkers may notice a freshness emanating from you, but you can attribute that to your cologne / perfume.

Yes, when this product is released, you won’t have to fear hanging out with your extra-gaseous friends anymore.  Their foul flatulence can be neutralized with this revolutionary new product.  And it will benefit you personally, too, as you won’t have to fear the shame and embarrassment of farting in public or at family gatherings.  You will feel a new-found freedom in life, and I suspect it will even help you enjoy life more.

Coming soon to a store near you…

how to deal with your woman’s bad mood

I know that most of the regular readers here at Buffet o’ Blog are guys, and some of them are married, so those of you who fit that category know that sometimes your wife is in a bad mood.  It can happen for a number of reasons.  Maybe it’s that time of the month (PMS); maybe the house isn’t decorated enough yet; maybe her husband is lazy and slacks a lot; maybe her husband wasn’t enthusiastic enough about doing the chores (even if he agreed to help); etc.  There’s a lot of reasons this scenario could happen — too many to list here.  But you most likely know what I’m talking about.

So what should the man of the house do in this situation?  If you tell her she’s in a bad mood and why she shouldn’t be, that probably won’t help at all, and it may make matters considerably worse (so beware, because you don’t want her to have an “emotional meltdown” or “emotional explosion”).  Another option would be to ignore her attitude.  Men are naturally good at compartmentalizing things, so this is somewhat natural.  But your wife probably won’t like this response either.  You could try hugging her and listening to her, and sometimes this is the right thing to do, but if you’re the source of her frustration / anger, then that won’t help any.

So sometimes there is no good solution.  But you shouldn’t just ignore it, so men need some way to express their displeasure with the situation, so she’ll know that you do not approve of the environment at that time.  One possible solution would be to fart and belch as loudly and as often as possible.  She won’t like this, but perhaps she will begin to associate these things with her bad mood.  An association of that sort would make her want to avoid that situation, which is what you want.

This is really basic psychology principles here.  (My psychology teachers from school would be so proud!  I learned that sometimes you need to just rip a big fart to help motivate others to deal with their problems.)  If I may make a small disclaimer on this, I will say that I haven’t personally conducted experiments on this yet, but logically it should work.  Feel free to share your success stories in the comments section, so married couples may benefit of your testimony and make their marriages happier.  And then the world will become a better place…  🙂