funny baby care instructions

I just had my first baby, and even before that I figured I knew absolutely nothing about babies — I had never held one, never changed a diaper, etc.  But Mango-Man sent me this picture of baby-care DOs and DON’Ts, and this helped me to realize I do already know a few things after all.  Maybe I’m an expert already, because I knew all this stuff!  🙂

Is there anything I can do for you?

I just added my first minion clone (baby) to my entourage, and for some reason she’s most awake around 4:00 and 5:00 AM.  I don’t understand.  I also don’t comprehend how almost nothing gets done around the house besides caring for the baby, even though the wife and I are both home right now.  That’s why the blog has been somewhat neglected of late.  Hopefully my schedule will eventually find a new “normal”.

On a lighter note, I’ve had a lot of people ask if we needed anything.  That’s quite gracious of them.  It’s nice to have friends and family who want to help.  But after hearing this numerous times, I noticed the frequent use of the word “anything”.  So I started to wonder if there’s anything the baby needs that I’m unable to provide at this time.  I thought of a couple of things that would be really, really helpful that I don’t have: a college fund, and a live-in nurse.  I mentioned this to a few people when they asked, but they seemed to think I was kidding.  I suppose they must’ve been kidding about the use of the word “anything”.  🙂

By the way, in case Captain Literal or any of his followers are reading this, I know what they meant.  It’s a joke.  Lighten up.  I’m trying to have fun despite my lack of normal sleep.

funny pictures, episode 13, baby edition

There’s been more talk about babies around here lately, so I figured why not have a baby edition of funny pictures. Surely there’s a lot of people who enjoy funny baby pictures, so this is something for them.

I've actually been looking at baby strollers of late, but I'm fairly certain my wife wouldn't go for one like this. She doesn't seem to understand that sometimes you need to go off-road. I realize that's not normal for baby strollers, but if they had tires like this, maybe people would more often...
Here's another neat baby stroller / carriage, but I'm not even gonna bother showing this to my wife. How many guys would appreciate a baby stroller that looks like an AT-AT from Star Wars? But this is one of those areas in life where a man's definition of cool usually doesn't factor into the vote.
I've also been looking at colors to paint the baby room. I knew there were (supposedly) millions of colors, but we didn't see any of these at the paint store. Maybe they only show them upon request...
I don't have a baby yet, so there's a lot I still have to learn, but I'm pretty sure using the toy like this would be a bad idea, not to mention illegal.
Again, I'm no expert on children, but I bet I can guess what happens next...

(To see more funny pictures, click on the “Funny Pictures” category in the sidebar.)

caption contest, kid reading newspaper on toilet

Here we go, another week, another Monday, just like clockwork.  Also, another caption contest.   This week’s funny picture was sent in by a regular reader (who credits the infamous bacon and cheese diet for his regularity).  This picture features a little kid / baby sitting on a toilet reading a newspaper.  Obviously it’s been altered already, but we’ll use it anyway and see what happens.

So think of funny stuff to explain this picture or to add a story to it.   Remember, you get to write the story however you want to — you can base it on world events in the news, you can embellish a story, or you can even invent your own.  Just whatever you do — make it funny.

kid reading newspaper on toilet

(To see the other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)