I came across this supposedly real news article, but I don’t have a link to prove its validity. Nonetheless, given the other weird news I’ve come across, I can believe it.
Police were hoping for a good turnout at their “Kicks for Guns” sneaker exchange Friday, but they weren’t expecting to get a surface-to-air missile launcher. An Ocoee man showed up and exchanged the 4-foot-long launcher for size-3 Reebok sneakers for his daughter. Taking advantage of the exchange’s no-questions-asked policy, the man was not identified. He told the Orlando Sentinel that he found the weapon in a shed he tore down last week.
You know the economy is bad when people are trading in the family rocket launcher for a pair of tennis shoes. I blame Obama.
I wish I had more info. I mean, how do you tear down a shed and happen to find a missile launcher? That just doesn’t happen. There has to be more to the story…
In the last post we talked about creating an explosion on the Moon. The story ended with us lamenting the lack of funds to do such things. It would cost millions of dollars just to create one explosion on the Moon, which is quite extravagant and wasteful. So one of our resident genii (geniuses) suggested we build an “inator” that would accomplish this goal and be self-funding. Why didn’t NASA think of that?
So we’re gonna build a giant solar-powered space laser. Who hasn’t dreamed of carving their name into the moon with a giant space laser? Not only could you customize the moon’s appearance — and sell advertising spots on it for large sums of money — but there would be many potential uses for a space laser, some of which would pay lucratively.
Burninating the countryside…
One obvious application is trying to takeover the world with it, like a classic James Bond villain. (I think Cobra of G.I. Joe has tried that, too.) But hopefully owning a giant space laser wouldn’t turn you evil. (It takes a certain mentality to be a mad scientist / evil genius. It’s not for everyone. And that’s a good thing.)
You could use it for good also. Here’s a few ideas:
* If someone needed to destroy a building but an explosion is too dangerous, you could melt it down with your space laser.
* If you’re camping and you don’t want to wait on a campfire to cook your food, use your giant laser — that is, if you can program it to the right power level.
* Of course there are obvious military applications.
* If someone wants to install a moat around their house, using a laser would be a lot easier than digging it out manually.
* If you can set it to “stun”, you could use it to deter bullies, thieves, neighborhood pets who poop in your yard, etc. This would also be great for practical jokes.
* If you could somehow make it look like lightning, have the remote for that functionality setup to fire whenever you say your name dramatically. There are plenty of catch-phrases that could also be applied to.
* Use it to rid the world of evil pickles.
* You could protect the Earth from asteroids, meteors, and space junk (debris). You could also make this into a real-life Asteroids game, which would be awesome.
I’m sure there are many other practical (or not-so-practical) applications. I’d like to hear your ideas, so feel free to leave a comment.
I saw where somebody searched for “explosion on the moon” and found this blog, which we have talked about so that’s not surprising. But I was curious if there was a specific explosion that someone is searching for info about. So I did a quick search and found several links about asteroids / meteorites crashing into the Moon, which has happened countless times. But then I saw a link where NASA was planning to trigger a massive explosion on the moon to search for ice.
NASA is preparing to launch the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite, which will fly a Centaur rocket booster into the moon, triggering a six-mile-high explosion that scientists hope will confirm whether water is frozen in the perpetual darkness of craters near the moon’s south pole.
Flying a rocket into the moon at 5,600 mph to create an explosion is cool! Where do I get that kind of job?
Actually, since nobody owns the moon, technically it wouldn’t be against the law to create your own explosions on the moon, right? Of course, that would require money and technology we don’t yet possess, but we can dream, right? 🙂
In the news recently, British scientists (“boffins”) have announced that dinosaurs’ reckless farting might have led to their extinction. Read for yourself:
Dinosaurs may have farted themselves to extinction, according to a new study from British scientists.
The researchers calculated that the prehistoric beasts pumped out more than 520 million tons (472 million tonnes) of methane a year — enough to warm the planet and hasten their own eventual demise.
Until now, an asteroid strike and volcanic activity around 65 million years ago had seemed the most likely cause of their extinction. …
“Our calculations suggest these dinosaurs may have produced more methane than all the modern sources, natural and human, put together.”
“Not the momma!”
Yeah, I called it reckless farting. (Have you ever heard those two words together before?) It’s bad enough to just fart whenever you want, but when the air becomes unsuitable for life, it’s time to change policy. I realize they’re just animals, but you’d think they could’ve figured it out. Even animals can learn by conditioning (like Pavlov’s dogs). Here, you’d think after millions of years, they’d figure out a disturbing pattern. Por ejemplo: [fart] “Whew, that stinks.” [fart again] “That’s some stank-terribleness.” [fart again] “I can hardly breathe…” [fart again] “I’m about to die!” The pattern is obvious.
Doesn’t it seem odd that there are people who get paid to calculate how much dinosaurs passed gas? Imagine meeting new people and they ask you what you do — “I study dinosaur farts.” You’d get some weird reactions, I’m sure. But you’d be a hit at the elementary school on bring-your-parent-to-school day. 🙂
In the last post we talked about 
Buffet o' Blog 