I’m a time traveler!

Thomas Wayne here… yeah.. .dont hate me cause i’m beautiful… I just wanted to share my latest tale… while cleaning out my closet I discovered a time machine… theres no telling how long it’d been there… could have been planted by some ancient civilization… alternatively they could have used it, came to the present, hid it in my closet, & then went back to the past… at any rate… there was this time machine in my closet… (how do I know it was a time machine? simple… it was written over the door in a cryptic text resembling something my little sister would do with a crayon… how legible can you expect ancient people to write?) THE ADVENTURE BEGINS: the time was 5:01 when I bravely entered the portal & spun the dial…(aren’t you glad you use dial?) anyway, it was dark inside… It wasn't at all what I expected… I figured there’d be spinning & flickering lights and all that… but there wasn’t… just an eery silence and absolute darkness… and the muted smell of cardboard box…  after a bit I verified all was quite… & gingerly stepped from this ancient doorway into a dimly lit room and anxiously looked  around… it had WORKED! It was AMAZING!!!  I had traveled into the future!!! and I had PROOF! the time on clock beside my bed was NO LONGER 5:01… it was now  (wait for it) … 5:09!!! when I have more time I plan to recreate this life-altering experiment and go EVEN FURTHER into the future…

my time machine

I'm in the process of building my own time machine, but my progress has hit a brick wall because I'm missing a couple of critical components, like a transgalactic time discombobulator.  I can't even find them on eBay.  (I suspect this is because they haven't been invented yet.)  Okay, so of course this is a problem…  But I have a plan!  I figure someday in the future these parts will be available, and my future self will finish the time machine, then come back and give me the parts.  So any day now they should be showing up, and I'll be rich & famous.  I can hardly wait…  This is gonna be cool…

office hours

"So tell me, Mr. Wayne," asked the interviewer, "have you any other skills you think might be worth mentioning?"

"Actually, yes," said the applicant modestly.  "Last year I had two short stories published in national magazines, and I finished my novel."

"Very impressive," he commented, "but I was thinking of skills you could apply during office hours."

Mr. Wayne explained brightly, "Oh, that was during office hours."

I don’t know everything…

I know I don't know everything, but I don't know what I don't know, so I can't really study.  I think I'll just sit on the couch and watch more cartoons…

TW