getting fat the right way

I ate at Chili’s tonight with a couple of guys, and as we were examining the menu, one guy noticed some mini burgers and asked about them.  None of us had tried them, but judging by the picture it looked like these had more bread than meat.  I said I prefer my burgers to have more meat than bread, and this prompted one guy to say:

I like to get fat the right way. ~ Matt B.

That’s classic…  And he is of robust size, a meat-and-taters type of guy.  And he did make a valid point — if you’re gonna be overweight, you should enjoy it.  You don’t want to get fat from salads (which can happen if you use salad dressing).

funny pictures, episode 8

Here’s a few more pics from my collection of funny pictures, starting with a funny basketball photo.  After that, there’s pictures covering topics like: Chuck Norris action jeans, a kid trying to be a gangsta’ on a Barbie bicycle, a guy painting his white car with a black permanent marker, and a guy who drove his car into a flooded area.

What's going on? Who turned out the lights?
If doing roundhouse kicks tends to rip your jeans (I hate it when that happens!), then this is the product for you!
Are you gangsta' enough to be cool on a Barbie bicycle? (No.)
Crappiness is recession proof.
I think it's flooded...

If you have any funny comments to go with any of these pictures, you’re welcome to share them in a comment for us all to enjoy.  Or if you feel inspired and creative enough to somehow connect all these pictures in a single story, give it a try.

(To see more funny pictures, click on the “Funny Pictures” category in the sidebar.)

hippo-what?

It can be fun to use big words.  When you do, there will be people who don’t fully understand what you’re saying, but usually they can figure out a close-enough meaning based on context clues and perhaps even the sound of the word.

That said, what do you suppose the word hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia means?  I’ll provide a link that gives the etymology and definition of it, but first I’d like to hear what you think it might mean.  There’s a lot of smart and important readers here, so surely someone can deduce what it means without looking it up.

If you must know the truth, follow this link (and go to the bottom of the page) for a complete explanation.

how not to relieve shoulder pain

Over the years, people have done countless stupid things.  You could fill a blog documenting such things and never run out of content (and I’m sure somebody is trying).  Albert Einstein supposedly said, “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not even sure about the universe.”   I’ve also heard it said that “the 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.”  I’m not going to argue with that.  I suppose stupidity is limitless because imagination is limitless.  Some people use their imagination for good, while some people use it to invent new ways of being stupid.

The reason I’m thinking of that is because of something I heard in the news this week.  A woman in Michigan hurt her shoulder trying to keep her 80-pound Labrador from fighting with her Chihuahuas, and she was unemployed and couldn’t afford to get health care because she had no health insurance.   The pain supposedly became too much to bear, so she became desperate.  The hospital wouldn’t treat her unless it was an emergency, so she borrowed a gun and shot her shoulder, so the hospital would be required to treat her.  On TV, she said she figured this would be better than the pain she was currently dealing with.  Before shooting herself, she put pillows in front of and behind her shoulder, along with an ice pack.

Her plan backfired, though, because the bullet missed all of the affected areas, so the doctors in the emergency room didn’t have to work on her previous problem.   So now she has the shoulder pain and a gunshot wound to deal with.  Afterward, she said, “It didn’t take the pain away.  I figured it would take the pain away from the rotator cuff, where at least I could focus on something else, and maybe they would fix me, you know.  I guess I should have shot a little lower and got the bone and the artery.”  I’m not sure she learned her lesson…