Category: Random

offended at poop

Look at this…

poop in yard

I don’t have to tell you what this is.  This is poop.  You can call it crap, turds, or whatever colorful euphemism for feces you want.  Either way, it’s gross.  (As the saying goes, poop by any other name smells the same.)  But there’s no need for you to get offended… it’s not real poop.  It’s a picture of real poop, so what we have here is a virtual representation.  It doesn’t stink, and it won’t make a mess.  Go ahead and touch it.  See, nothing happens.  So don’t get all offended.

But I am offended.  The problem with this poop is that it’s in my yard.  But I didn’t put it there, neither did anyone associated with my household.  I have no pets at this time.  And I did not sign up for the fertilize-your-yard chain letter.  So this pile of poop was placed in my yard illegally.  Yeah, someone was trespassing.

I figure it was someone’s dog, but that’s still WRONG!  People shouldn’t let their dog poop in my yard!  If I knew who it was, I could toss it on their driveway, to make sure they took notice of it.

Let’s hope this doesn’t happen again, before bad things happen…

the wonder of lightning bugs

Do you ever watch lightning bugs?  I was standing on my back porch last night, and there’s a huge open field behind my house.  I could see hundreds of lightning bugs, all of them flashing their patterns.

lightning bugThey’re also known as the firefly.  They create the light using certain enzymes that react together.  They use this light for our enjoyment.  🙂  No, really, it’s for mating purposes.  They create unique courtship patterns.  I don’t understand this.  Does this female firefly get interested because one guy has 5 flashes in quick succession?  Or does the rhythm of the flashing make her want to dance?  I guess it doesn’t matter…

Scientists are trying to reproduce this chemical (luciferase) in the lab through genetic engineering for other purposes.  So far they have been able to synthesize it and get other living things to produce the protein, such as mice (of course), silkworms, and potatoes.  [Ed. note: potatoes?!?  Would you eat glowing potatoes?]

What if they can cause humans to produce it?  Wouldn’t it be weird if we could make our butts light up?  🙂

NES-themed coffee table

Someone has made a coffee table that looks like an original Nintendo (NES) controller.  And get this, it is fully functional.  The top glass comes off, and you can actually play games with it!  It also opens up for storage inside.

NES controller coffee table

Click here for more images.

I WANT ONE!!!  Although, being married, I doubt this would go with our living room “theme”.  But it would be perfect for a game room or home theater room.

Unfortunately, it’s homemade and not for sale.  Seriously, someone should market these.  This is probably the only time I’d ever get excited about buying a coffee table.

how to justify eating more than normal at Larry’s Pizza

The staff of Buffet o’ Blog are going to Larry’s Pizza tomorrow for lunch, so it’s guaranteed to be a good time.  Yesterday we were discussing how great their pizza is and how easy it is to eat more food than normal.  So our Senior Statistics Correspondent, Turtle Dundee, created a formula using simple math that explains why it’s okay to eat more than normal there.  Here’s the computational sequence (don’t worry, it won’t give you a headache — it’s quite simple, really):

So even though we’re going to Larry’s tomorrow, I figure that’s really only 1.75 meals away.  There’s lunch today, that’s a full meal.  Then dinner tonight, eating a bit less than usual that’s .70 of a meal.  Breakfast tomorrow is just a nibble, that’s .05 of a meal.  Then for lunch tomorrow I’m 1.25 meals short, so that’s 2.25 meals for lunch.  And since nobody wants to eat dinner after Larry’s, that puts me up to 3.25 meals for lunch.

That would actually make a good slogan for them: Larry’s Pizza — It’s 3.25 meals good.

That makes sense to me!  For those of you who skipped over the numbers and don’t want to apply them in your head, I’ll take care of the math for you.  If a normal serving size is 4 pieces (which seems low to me, but we’ll start with that), then 4 times 3.25 equals 13 pieces of pizza.  If your normal serving size is 6 pieces, then applying that equation would result in 19.5 pieces of pizza, which is quite a haul for one meal!

Feel free to join us there for lunch tomorrow.  I guarantee it’ll be a good time.  If you’re wondering how to find us, just use these clues: 1) it’ll be all guys at one table; 2) the pizzas of choice will have lots of dead animals on them; 3) there will be randomness and laughing to overflow.  Oh, and we’ll be the coolest people there.  So you shouldn’t have any difficulty in recognizing us.  (We don’t put our pictures on the blog because this site already exceeds the daily recommended coolness quotient, and that might put us over the top.)