Can Cheetos cure headaches? (part 2)

One of the most popular posts here is “Can Cheetos cure headaches?” And rightfully so — if true, that would be a huge scientific breakthrough. Plus, Cheetos are tasty. How awesome would it be if your doctor prescribed for you to eat more Cheetos? 🙂

I initially wrote that 15 years ago (which doesn’t seem possible, but the math says so somehow). Since then I’ve done more research*. (* I ate more Cheetos.) Seriously (or at least pseudo-seriously), since then I’ve had more headaches (I’m also now married with children, which the data seems to suggest a correlation there, but that’s a topic for another day), and I have indeed eaten more Cheetos.

So, rambling aside (not really), do Cheetos really cure headaches? Well, it depends on how you define “cure”. It doesn’t remove the source of the headache, but neither does aspirin / acetaminophen. However, it can help you feel better, like aspirin / acetaminophen. I don’t think doctors will be prescribing it anytime soon due to a lack of healthiness, but if it helps you be more productive in your day, it can be worth it. You have to take care of yourself. And sometimes taking care of yourself can be accomplished by not taking care of yourself, if that makes sense. 🙂

Now, I’m no important doctor, so take all this with a grain of salt. Wait, no, don’t. Salt should not be added to Cheetos. But a disclaimer is still in order. It’s important to know that Cheetos do not work in the same way as aspirin or acetaminophen and thus do not replace them. So perhaps you should take both! 🙂

It’s possible it works due to the placebo effect, which means it is more psychological than scientific. Either way, if it helps, it helps. Comfort food is called that for a reason. (I do realize that comfort food usually refers to things like fried chicken and biscuits & gravy, but if your head is hurting, you probably don’t feel like cooking or going to a restaurant. So you need something quick and easy to eat that is also delicious. Oreos and ice cream also fit in this category, of course.)

Really, though, just eating seems to help headaches somewhat (unless it goes into migraine territory). Well, eating something tasty helps. I’m pretty sure eating broccoli would NOT help my headache. I haven’t researched that, and I don’t plan to. Why would I try to reduce pain by eating something that causes more discomfort? Common sense applies here, if you happen to have it. 🙂

Disclaimer: This post is not sponsored by Cheetos in any way, though if they’d like to send me free bags of Cheetos, that would be okay.

2 thoughts on “Can Cheetos cure headaches? (part 2)

  1. Pickle Power

    It’s a blessing you have found comfort in Cheetos. However, it’s mastery over your headaches has seemed to wain. May I suggest a more unorthodox method to headache relief? In light of my research* Fried Pickles with black pepper ranch dressing. Instead of regular breading, use crushed/powdered Cheetos for added awesomeness. Maybe it helps. Maybe not. But nobody thought touching a red hot iron to your skin could help cauterize a wound (and therefore fight infection) until they tried it.**
    *no research has been done on this topic.
    **what could possibly go wrong?!

    1. Thomas Wayne

      What could possibly go wrong?!? You’re talking about eating pickles! Gagging, vomiting, diarrhea, depression, etc. Perhaps you’re unaware, but pickles have been discussed on this blog already with the definitive conclusion that they are NOT FOOD and they all should be shot into the sun.

      However, Cheetos powder is a great idea. I’ve thought of that before, that someone should sell it (or figure out how to make the equivalent) so it could be used as breading for chicken and fish and veggies (for when they must be eaten — this would surely make them more palatable). Someone should make this happen!

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