Can Cheetos cure headaches? (part 2)

One of the most popular posts here is “Can Cheetos cure headaches?” And rightfully so — if true, that would be a huge scientific breakthrough. Plus, Cheetos are tasty. How awesome would it be if your doctor prescribed for you to eat more Cheetos? 🙂

I initially wrote that 15 years ago (which doesn’t seem possible, but the math says so somehow). Since then I’ve done more research*. (* I ate more Cheetos.) Seriously (or at least pseudo-seriously), since then I’ve had more headaches (I’m also now married with children, which the data seems to suggest a correlation there, but that’s a topic for another day), and I have indeed eaten more Cheetos.

So, rambling aside (not really), do Cheetos really cure headaches? Well, it depends on how you define “cure”. It doesn’t remove the source of the headache, but neither does aspirin / acetaminophen. However, it can help you feel better, like aspirin / acetaminophen. I don’t think doctors will be prescribing it anytime soon due to a lack of healthiness, but if it helps you be more productive in your day, it can be worth it. You have to take care of yourself. And sometimes taking care of yourself can be accomplished by not taking care of yourself, if that makes sense. 🙂

Now, I’m no important doctor, so take all this with a grain of salt. Wait, no, don’t. Salt should not be added to Cheetos. But a disclaimer is still in order. It’s important to know that Cheetos do not work in the same way as aspirin or acetaminophen and thus do not replace them. So perhaps you should take both! 🙂

It’s possible it works due to the placebo effect, which means it is more psychological than scientific. Either way, if it helps, it helps. Comfort food is called that for a reason. (I do realize that comfort food usually refers to things like fried chicken and biscuits & gravy, but if your head is hurting, you probably don’t feel like cooking or going to a restaurant. So you need something quick and easy to eat that is also delicious. Oreos and ice cream also fit in this category, of course.)

Really, though, just eating seems to help headaches somewhat (unless it goes into migraine territory). Well, eating something tasty helps. I’m pretty sure eating broccoli would NOT help my headache. I haven’t researched that, and I don’t plan to. Why would I try to reduce pain by eating something that causes more discomfort? Common sense applies here, if you happen to have it. 🙂

Disclaimer: This post is not sponsored by Cheetos in any way, though if they’d like to send me free bags of Cheetos, that would be okay.

a new flatulence fee

A new ordinance was just passed in San Francisco requiring certain restaurants, such as Taco Bell, to charge a “flatulence fee”, because of damage done to the atmosphere and because methane contributes to global warming.

I tell ya, the politically-correct crowd sure is pushing their over-sensitivities and liberal agendas on everyone else.  While I can’t argue that places like Taco Bell can cause exorbitant amounts of gas (as research* has shown), the government doesn’t have any right to tax us more for eating there!    * no comment.

BTW, this is not actually true, if you haven’t guessed.  It’s April Fools Day, so we’re supposed to make up stuff like this.  Unfortunately, though, some of the far-left in our society are getting so crazy that such a thing could actually happen.  If you haven’t heard, the government is debating whether to charge fees for air-polluting animals, such as cows.  Some are calling it the “cow tax”.  Let’s hope it doesn’t happen.  Not only is it stupid, but it will bankrupt many farmers and cause more meat to be imported from other countries.  And that’s not funny.  (Click here for the full story.)