launching a toilet into space

Speaking of the lottery, I was recently involved in a lunch conversation where some people were talking about being super-extravagant if they won the lottery.  At some point, the conversation somehow gravitated toward toilets.  (I have some friends that get really random!)  I don’t know how the topics merged together, but someone said they’d have toilets that get launched into space when they get stopped up, or maybe even just when they’re flushed.  I don’t think toilets were meant to be disposable.  Also, I’m not sure what they cost, but given how many times a flush is needed for a normal household per day, that might burn through the lottery winnings fairly quickly.

Besides, can you imagine Earth being surrounded by toilets in orbit?  There would be toilets (full of poop) crashing into satellites and burning up on re-entry in the atmosphere.  The more I think about it, the more reasons I come up with for why that’s a crappy idea.

But I do admit that seeing toilets launched from someone’s house repeatedly might be kinda cool… that is, as long as they achieve orbit and don’t come back down.  There’s many obvious flaws in the scenario of them returning to the ground.  As cool as it would be to see a toilet shatter*, it would cause some serious damage if it hit something.

* Mango-Man says he’s seen a toilet fall off a truck and shatter into a million pieces and that it was indeed cool.  Too bad he wasn’t prepared to capture video of it.  It’s not everyday you get to see toilets break.  (Actually, I know someone who says he breaks his toilet on a regular basis, but more in a figurative sense.)

I’ve probably said more about toilets in this post than you care to hear about, so I’ll stop now.  But for the few who want more, there is a popular post here about toilet facts, and there are other posts about toilets (such as the motorcycle that runs on poop and has a built-in toilet).  You can use the search function in the sidebar to find even more toilet-related nuggets.  Hmm, that might not be the best choice of words, but this conversation is already in the toilet, so what does it matter?  🙂

7 thoughts on “launching a toilet into space

  1. Holiday Inn Express

    And now I’m curious. Could a porcelain toilet survive the heat of re-entry? We should do some tests to find out.

  2. Thomas Wayne

    I agree! Let’s meet at Mango-Man’s house for the test, since he has some unused acreage. You might bring some extra toilets while we get the right propulsion method rigged up. We can use his, but I think he’s only got 2, and we’ll probably need more than that.

    Everyone, bring your toilets to Mango-Man’s house!

    It’s not often you get to say that! Actually, I bet no one has ever said that before! 🙂 (Yeah, I’m a veritable wordsmith.)

    Stay tuned for the date and time. I haven’t told Mango-Man about this yet, but I’m fairly certain I can persuade him. I mean, it would be great fun and be awesome, right? We’ll try to not burn down his ketunias, at least on purpose. 🙂 We’ll make a big party of the event — nachos, bacon, tea, etc.

    The more I think about it, we’d better charge admission. The crowd might be huge if word gets out. How many parties have there ever been where you had awesome food and toilets set on fire? This has a chance to be one of those once-in-a-lifetime events you hear about. So let’s do it up big. What kind of other stuff can we add to this party?

  3. Mr. Destructo

    If the toilet re-entry isn’t as spectacular as you imagine, you could always blow up a few toilets for entertainment. How about launching them into the air, not at orbit levels, but just high enough for the crowd to shoot at them with rocket launchers or grenade launchers? That should be a fun time. Who wouldn’t enjoy exploding toilets? (And make sure your insurance premiums are paid up!)

  4. Crappo the Clown

    If we have multitudes of people there, we’ll need porta-potties. And along the lines of this post, if any of them become “broken”, we’ll just launch them into space and see if they go into orbit or survive re-entry.

    And for merchandise to sell, you should have miniature flaming toilets. People would buy those…

  5. me

    i like toilets a lot and i think it would be funny to see a toilet launched into space o god pls i hope this will happen one day ok bye

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