Women usually plan weddings and men are usually okay with that. But, for humor’s sake, let’s consider some ways men would make a wedding different to make it more fun. (Kudos to Larry Sessions for the idea.) Larry suggested the groom (or bride) could ride in on a tractor or four-wheeler, and that guests could use some type of leaf-blower to shoot rice into the air and/or at the wedding party as they leave. Picture that… 🙂
One of my other friends made a humorous statement about his wedding, how he wanted it to be different, and it applies to this conversation :
To expect a “perfect” wedding is to court disappointment. The wedding should be full of adventure and intrigue, like the marriage. I secretly hoped for a Spanish army on horseback to ride in the church and demand 300 pesos. ~ Jared Stewart, 3/11/05
Suppose you could get away with anything at your wedding — and your wife wouldn’t care. Anything… (but keep it clean). What would you do? (Let the imagination soar…)
Buffet o' Blog 
Important Divorce Attorney
If you had changed your mind about marrying this gal but didn’t have the heart to tell her, I would hire a “long-lost wife” to show up and object to the wedding saying that you’re already married to her and that she really didn’t die in that plane crash like you thought and that she found you just in time. Now that’s drama.
AGOC
I’d take all the groomsmen out for lunch at Los Amigos or some such place and offer to pay ONLY if they promise to eat at least one helping of refried beans from the all-you-can-eat menu. Then, I’d tell them at the wedding a few hours later to do their thing at any time, preferably right in the middle of a really serious moment and loud enough for all to hear. Allow me to illustrate:
Minister: Burford, repeat after me. I Burford take you Edna Earl to be lawfully wedded wife, to have and to phhhvvvvvrrrrrrrt (courtesy of the best man, TW)…….and so on.
Mango Man
here are a few of ideas to make a wedding more fun for men:
forget ‘throwing’ the rice… it will be dispersed via pyrotechnics
groomsmen armed with modified paintball guns that shoot rice
forget the limousine… leave in a ‘monster truck’, complete with
vehicle crushing on the way out.
less ‘lighting the unity candle… MORE lighting the farts
reception food includes chili-cheese-dip and TEA
and last… you get a full year off with pay for your Honeymoon
(just like in biblical times)
Beppo
Some good ideas! On that “full year off with pay for your honeymoon”, I am so feelin’ that! Let’s make that happen!
If your employer won’t comply, perhaps you could just take it a little at a time — like take an extra hour at lunch — until you have used up the missing year of paid vacation. 🙂
Not a Priest, But Stayed at a Holiday Inn Express
I think the ideal wedding would include the following elements:
Bride arrives by helicopter, as ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ plays.
‘Unity candle’ replaced by propane-powered ‘Unity pillar of fire’.
Midgets, perhaps dressed as cowboys and riding large dogs.
Important Divorce Attorney
This is a response to Mango Man: According to most of my clients, one year off with a woman is the matrimonial equivalent of water-boarding and should be added as a forbidden torture method to the Geneva Conventions.
Mango-Man
Hey… as long as i’m getting paid 🙂
Beppo
I played piano at a wedding where some of the flowers on stage caught on fire while the candles were being lit. It wasn’t intentional, though. But it was neat to hear the collective gasp of everyone as the room got quiet. It didn’t cause any damage, but sure made the wedding more memorable. Perhaps stuff like that could be planned out, but not tell anyone. Weddings are so predictable…