pickles do not go with BBQ!

The other day I was at a BBQ place in Pine Bluff, trying it for the first time.  It was one of those great and turrible* experiences all wrapped into one.  I ordered a BBQ sandwich, but they put pickles on it!  Nowhere on the menu did it say pickles were included on it, nor did the waitress mention it.  I’ve ranted (numerous times) about having no tolerance of pickles, so I won’t rant on that again.  But they should tell you about such things!  They should warn you before exposing you to pickles!  I don’t know if they were trying to ruin my day or just completely ignorant of how much some people detest pickles.

Fortunately, the pickles had yet to soil the meat or bread with their evilness, so they were discarded with no harm done.  That’s a good thing, or the whole plate would’ve been returned.  (I’m not normally one to make a fuss at restaurants, but I have to draw the line at pickles.)  At least the food was great, so that was the bright spot on the trip.

There was another bad spot, though — the waitress never came back.  I finally had to ask for a refill of sweet tea, and they never brought a ticket.  Paying took a long time because they had to match people’s orders with a pile of tickets containing only codes.  I hope that type of service isn’t the norm.

Anyway, just thought I’d rant.  It’s my soapbox, and I can rant if I want to.  🙂  If you’re expecting a moral of the story, it’s that pickles should not be served at restaurants.  If I owned a restaurant…

* turrible is the worse form of terrible, and try to say it like Charles Barkley does, for full effect.

caption contest, lawmakers playing Solitaire instead of working

It may be late this week, but our weekly caption contest is finally here.  The photo this time features elected officials / lawmakers / politicians in a meeting, but some are playing Solitaire on their laptops while someone else speaks.  This actually happened a while back in Connecticut and it was Democrats goofing off, but for the sake of the caption contest, they can be whoever you want.

FYI, the point of this is for you to write something funny to explain this picture.  Feel free to get your political rant on, whether about the near government shutdown over budget issues or the current issue of the day, but phrase your response in the form of humor.  That is, make it funny, whether using satire or irony or puns or whatever.

(To see our other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)

no tolerance of pickles

I was at a restaurant the other night, and I ordered a bacon cheeseburger.  I specifically said no pickles (because pickles are evil), yet they included pickles on my burger.   Fortunately, neither the meat nor the bun was contaminated by the stank of the pickles, so I could just discard of the lettuce, tomato, and onions, and the burger could be rescued without having to send it back and wait.

I’m going to create a business card that says if the server includes pickles on my order, my meal will be free.   I’m going to set it on the table as soon as I sit down, so things are clear.  Perhaps the card should read in big letters: “PICKLES ARE EVIL — NO TOLERANCE”.  Then the fine print will explain the other terms.

I’ve also considered throwing all pickles in the floor, to make my point more clearly.   (Such things have been rumored to have happened before.)  At least I’m more tolerant than Stewie Griffin of the show Family Guy, who said, “For every pickle I find, I shall kill you.”  🙂  I’m not too tolerant of evil (and therefore pickles, by association), but I try to be merciful to people, because I’ve discovered not everyone realizes that pickles are evil.   I don’t know how they don’t know, but ignorance and deception can lead to strange, irrational behavior, so I try to educate folks on this whenever possible.

BTW, if you stumbled onto this site from a search engine and were not aware that pickles are evil, follow the link above and read the comments — it’s debated thoroughly there.  Be enlightened… and share the knowledge with others.

Dr. Seuss style rant on Obama’s administration

I saw a humorous rant on Facebook about the Obama administration, and it was written in Dr. Seuss form.  I don’t know who originally wrote it, or I would give them credit.  Even if it ends up being penned by that great philosopher anonymous, you can still enjoy it.

“I do not like it Uncle Sam, I do not like it Sam I Am. I do not like these dirty crooks, I do not like how they cook books. I do not like when Congress steals, I do not like their secret deals. I do not like this Speaker Nan, I do not like this ‘YES WE CAN’. …I do not like this kind of hope, I do not like it Nope! Nope! Nope!”