offended at poop

Look at this…

poop in yard

I don’t have to tell you what this is.  This is poop.  You can call it crap, turds, or whatever colorful euphemism for feces you want.  Either way, it’s gross.  (As the saying goes, poop by any other name smells the same.)  But there’s no need for you to get offended… it’s not real poop.  It’s a picture of real poop, so what we have here is a virtual representation.  It doesn’t stink, and it won’t make a mess.  Go ahead and touch it.  See, nothing happens.  So don’t get all offended.

But I am offended.  The problem with this poop is that it’s in my yard.  But I didn’t put it there, neither did anyone associated with my household.  I have no pets at this time.  And I did not sign up for the fertilize-your-yard chain letter.  So this pile of poop was placed in my yard illegally.  Yeah, someone was trespassing.

I figure it was someone’s dog, but that’s still WRONG!  People shouldn’t let their dog poop in my yard!  If I knew who it was, I could toss it on their driveway, to make sure they took notice of it.

Let’s hope this doesn’t happen again, before bad things happen…

offended at losing weight

These days, I don’t get surprised too much at the stupidity of some people nor at how easily they get offended.  I don’t know if people have always been this stupid, or if our society somehow breeds it in some type of “experiment-gone-wrong” type way.  But either way, some people sure do get offended easily.  Here’s a unique example, which really happened recently.

A 19-year-old overweight guy named Broderick Laswell was arrested last September for beating and stabbing a guy, then setting his house on fire.  When he went to jail, he weighed 413 pounds.  (That’s not just slightly overweight, either — it’s more like “the back of your neck looks like a pack of sausages” fat.)  Anyway, in jail, he’s fed “only” 2300 to 3000 calories per day.  And he’s tried to work out a few times, but he started feeling faint.  He claims that this faintness is due to hunger pains from diminished calorie intake, though it’s more likely because he’s morbidly obese.  I mean, when you’re over 400 pounds, walking across the parking lot is a workout.  (Not that I’d know personally, nor will I be researching this.)

Anyway, this guy is suing the jailers for “lack of nutrition” because he’s lost 105 pounds and is now down to a still-not-healthy 308 pounds.  He claims that this “lack of nutrition” causes his stomach to hurt and growl and be hungry again within an hour of eating.

So, to summarize this, a fat guy commits a crime, goes to jail, is forced to eat a normal amount of food, loses weight, and files a lawsuit over it.  Is he offended at being less fat?  Or does he think prisoners should be fed from a buffet every day?  What is he thinking?