randomness with Chuck Norris joke

I realize Chuck Norris jokes have been around for years, so this one I’m going to share might not be new, but it’s just so random, so it fits in here.

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

I mean, that just doesn’t make any sense whatsoever, yet it’s funny.  It’s amusing to say Chuck Norris is all-powerful and can do all things, but now can he traverse the spacetime continuum?  Or does he have infinite lives?

a girl’s first football game

I usually post only original stuff here, but one of the regular readers sent in a joke that many of you might appreciate, since it involves football and puns.  So here’s an exception to the normal content.

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. After the game, he asked her how she liked it.

“Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and the big muscles, but I don’t get why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”

Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello? It’s only 25 cents…”

Obama and the oil spill

I’m sure President Barack Obama thinks he’s completely competent to handle all situations as President of the United States, but his mishandling of the oil spill in the Gulf might prove beneficial to him.  Perhaps the oil spill was Obama’s crude awakening.  🙂

my favorite animal

I don’t usually post non-original jokes here, but I heard one last night that I thought was really neat (and it even makes some valid points while being funny).

Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken”. She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, because everyone else in the class laughed.

My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.

Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal’s office. I told him what happened, and he laughed too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, just like she’d asked the other children. So I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal’s office again. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don’t understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn’t like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most. I told her, “Colonel Sanders”.

Guess where I am now…