Tag: humor

the wonder of lightning bugs

Do you ever watch lightning bugs?  I was standing on my back porch last night, and there’s a huge open field behind my house.  I could see hundreds of lightning bugs, all of them flashing their patterns.

lightning bugThey’re also known as the firefly.  They create the light using certain enzymes that react together.  They use this light for our enjoyment.  🙂  No, really, it’s for mating purposes.  They create unique courtship patterns.  I don’t understand this.  Does this female firefly get interested because one guy has 5 flashes in quick succession?  Or does the rhythm of the flashing make her want to dance?  I guess it doesn’t matter…

Scientists are trying to reproduce this chemical (luciferase) in the lab through genetic engineering for other purposes.  So far they have been able to synthesize it and get other living things to produce the protein, such as mice (of course), silkworms, and potatoes.  [Ed. note: potatoes?!?  Would you eat glowing potatoes?]

What if they can cause humans to produce it?  Wouldn’t it be weird if we could make our butts light up?  🙂

how to justify eating more than normal at Larry’s Pizza

The staff of Buffet o’ Blog are going to Larry’s Pizza tomorrow for lunch, so it’s guaranteed to be a good time.  Yesterday we were discussing how great their pizza is and how easy it is to eat more food than normal.  So our Senior Statistics Correspondent, Turtle Dundee, created a formula using simple math that explains why it’s okay to eat more than normal there.  Here’s the computational sequence (don’t worry, it won’t give you a headache — it’s quite simple, really):

So even though we’re going to Larry’s tomorrow, I figure that’s really only 1.75 meals away.  There’s lunch today, that’s a full meal.  Then dinner tonight, eating a bit less than usual that’s .70 of a meal.  Breakfast tomorrow is just a nibble, that’s .05 of a meal.  Then for lunch tomorrow I’m 1.25 meals short, so that’s 2.25 meals for lunch.  And since nobody wants to eat dinner after Larry’s, that puts me up to 3.25 meals for lunch.

That would actually make a good slogan for them: Larry’s Pizza — It’s 3.25 meals good.

That makes sense to me!  For those of you who skipped over the numbers and don’t want to apply them in your head, I’ll take care of the math for you.  If a normal serving size is 4 pieces (which seems low to me, but we’ll start with that), then 4 times 3.25 equals 13 pieces of pizza.  If your normal serving size is 6 pieces, then applying that equation would result in 19.5 pieces of pizza, which is quite a haul for one meal!

Feel free to join us there for lunch tomorrow.  I guarantee it’ll be a good time.  If you’re wondering how to find us, just use these clues: 1) it’ll be all guys at one table; 2) the pizzas of choice will have lots of dead animals on them; 3) there will be randomness and laughing to overflow.  Oh, and we’ll be the coolest people there.  So you shouldn’t have any difficulty in recognizing us.  (We don’t put our pictures on the blog because this site already exceeds the daily recommended coolness quotient, and that might put us over the top.)

working less to help the economy

A guy on CNN, Jack Cafferty, has brought up the idea of changing to a four-day workweek here in the U.S., to help deal with rising gas prices.  It’s not an original idea, because the staff here at Buffet o’ Blog have discussed various plans to work less and/or to increase the length of the weekend.  So while it’s not a new idea, it is good to see it finally gaining some traction with the mainstream media.

I’ll volunteer for the four-day workweek, even if it’s just in an experimental stage.  And I volunteer to work from home, too, which would really save on gas prices.

I figure some companies would expect employees to start working 10-hour days to compensate for the extra off-day, but that’s not necessary.  It would be best to leave it like it is except for removing one whole day of work.  Not only would that help the economy and help prevent global warming, it would dramatically improve morale, which would be a huge thing in this time of major corporate layoffs and downsizing.  So companies ought to think about this new strategy.

Actually, I think the four-day workweek would be widely accepted idea among employees (which make up the majority).  So perhaps research is not needed on that.  But if they want to research taking it a step further, like a three-day workweek, I’ll sign up for that.  🙂

add your own captions, Barack Obama and John Kerry

Here’s our next caption contest.  (Yes, it’s a contest — while there are no official prizes, if you make people laugh, you “win”.)  All you have to do is write a caption for this picture.  This week we’re featuring a photo from the campaign trail, featuring presidential wanna-be John Kerry giving advice (or consolation) to presidential candidate Barack Obama.

Have fun with this one…  🙂

John Kerry and Barack Obama

(To see the other entries in our caption contest, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)