viewer mail, issue #11
It’s been a while since I’ve answered viewer mail, so here goes. Like always, these are actual search terms used to find this site, followed by commentary and analysis. There wasn’t any questions to answer this week, but if you have any, use the “Contact Us” link to send it to us.
- flavor of poop — I haven’t ever researched this (for good reason), so I’m going to resort to a third-party on this one. I have read of someone who actually ate some, and he said it tasted about like what you would expect. I wish I could find the reference to it, because I’d give him a few seconds of additional fame for his feat.
- i would like 17 super powers please — Doesn’t that seem kinda greedy? Of course it would be great to have more superpowers than you know what to do with, but then some would get wasted. Besides, can you think of any superheroes that have 17 super powers? That would offset the balance on both sides, and it would be really bad if you decided to use your powers for evil. So, sorry, on this request you’ll have to be DENIED.
- coworker is an alien — If this is true, then you need to be very careful! An alien is not going to come to Earth just to sit in a cubicle and do work; he obviously has some ulterior motives. He could be here for research, spying, infiltration, or kidnapping. But regardless of that, there’s another aspect of this to consider. Do you have any idea how much fame and fortune you could get by discovering an alien?!? People have tried to prove the existence of UFOs for decades, and if you could, you’d be so famous. So document all your encounters with him/her/it, and keep your proof in a safe place. Write a book with an accompanying DVD, then hit the talk show circuit. You’ll easily make millions!
- words like discombobulator — That word makes me feel discombobulated…
- why do pickles explode — BECAUSE THEY’RE EVIL!!! Actually, I didn’t know they explode on their own, but I do know for a fact that they’re evil. Does anyone have any evidence or explanation of them exploding? My plan of shooting all pickles into the sun would cause them to explode, but if there’s any natural exploding of pickles, I’d like to know about it.
- unbreakable stuff — That’s just a myth. Nothing is unbreakable. I’ve worked with people who were naturals at breaking anything.
- why should i eat chocolate — This one is really easy — because it tastes great! What other reasons do you need? But if someone is trying to convince you that it’s not healthy, that’s just because they want the chocolate for themselves. Chocolate actually does have nutritional properties to it. It has antioxidants, which nobody understands, but they say your body needs them. And chocolate is a great source of sugar. I know, sugar gets a bad reputation these days, but did you know your brain runs on sugar? It’s true, look it up. Of course, your body can create sugar from foods like fruits and vegetables, but why not save the time and effort by eating chocolate, which has your daily sugar needs in highly concentrated form (plus it tastes much better).
- how safe is buffet eating? — I’ve never had any problems with it. But, since you brought it up, I should research this. I think this calls for a trip to Larry’s Pizza! WOOHOO! Would anyone like to join me to offer a second opinion? Before you quickly volunteer, know that this may require multiple visits to local buffets, so we can reduce the standard deviation and stuff. 🙂
That’s it for this week. Now you know more than before. You’re welcome.