caption contest, toilet abused

It’s time for a new caption contest!  This week, we’re going to feature a gross picture.   Be forewarned that some people might find this disturbing or even inappropriate.  It’s a picture of a toilet, with an abundance of poop and toilet paper in it.   And when I say abundance, I mean overflowing.  If you can’t stomach the grossness, then don’t scroll down to see the picture.

Before we get to that, I want to feature a short editorial rant on today’s subject matter (which also conveniently places the picture further down, to help certain people).  I realize that some people get offended at the mere mention of poop / feces, so the sight of it may be too much to handle.  But let’s look at it this way: you most likely see poop every single day.   So don’t act like your farts don’t stink, pretending that you’re too socially advanced and high-minded for such things.   Everyone poops.  It’s part of nature.

Now let’s address the issue of why there would be a picture of a toilet with poop in it, since everyone sees it every day anyway.  I don’t necessarily enjoy looking at poop, and you probably don’t either.  Well, this is what you call a caricature — a picture that exaggerates or distorts something, either for emphasis or entertainment.  So basically, this photo is humorous (to some) because it goes way beyond what is normal.   I realize that some people still might get offended despite my reasoning, so if that’s you, either go to another page, or press “Page Down” twice quickly, to avoid it.   You have been forewarned.

Finally, let’s get to the picture.   I realize there’s no people in it, so your caption (or craption, which might be more appropriate this time) can be for whoever finds this or whoever has to clean it up or just as general commentary / narrative.  Or if you can make a joke out of it, go ahead.  Just don’t use cuss words — this is still a family-friendly site, despite the grossness of this picture.

toilet-abused

You can click on the pic for a larger version, if you dare.

(To see the other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)

paper made from elephant poop

Did you know that some paper is made from elephant poop?  ‘Tis true!  It’s called “elephant dung paper”.  Who would’ve thought of doing this?  Here’s the story:

The man behind the paper is Mr. Wanchai. On his way home from work he used to pass a natural paper factory and was impressed at the simplicity of the process that used natural tree fibers to make high quality hand made paper. He then took a trip to the Thai Elephant Conservation Center in Lampang Northern Thailand and saw piles and piles of dung. He looked at the dung and noticed that the dung was very fibrous. This was the birth of the idea.

The next step was to take home a carload of dung to his house. His wife was amused and at this stage very patient. Try as he could he could not get the paper just right. He used the family food processor to cut the long fibers to a shorter length — his wife finally lost her patience.

I can see someone getting upset with putting poop in the food processor.  I’d be leery of using it for food ever again, no matter how much cleaning.  Anyway, as you might imagine, he eventually figured out the process, and now sells it.  You can read more at the official website: the history of Elephant Dung Paper.

This is good for the environment, I reckon — they’re taking waste and making a useful product with it.  And each elephant produces enough poop for about 115 sheets of paper a day.

That isn’t the only company that does this, either.  There’s another one that makes “Poo Poo Paper“.  They use “naturally dried elephant dung”, then they rinse it off, then put it in boiling water, then add some fruit fibers, then separate it into “cakes” or “wafers”, and then let it dry.  They can make about 25 large sheets of paper from one turd.

Would you buy Poo Poo Paper or Elephant Dung Paper to help save the environment?

random facts about hippos

I was flipping through the TV channels recently and came across a show on Animal Planet about hippos (that is, hippopotamuses, or is it hippopotami?).  I ended up watching a few minutes of it, and I learned that they are more advanced than humans in a few areas, which surprised me.  Obviously they’re better at being fat, but that’s not something to be jealous of.  Well, maybe they’re just big-boned… because consider this : hippos can run up to 30 mph on land.  30 mph!  Considering that they weigh anywhere from 3,000 to 7,000 pounds, and that’s quite an achievement.  They even have stubby little legs.  It’s very impressive that they can reach such speeds given those conditions.  And then all of a sudden I realized what an advantage I have in running, yet I’m pretty sure I can’t get anywhere close to 30 mph, even for a very short run.  That ain’t right!  But that’s okay, because I’ve got a number of other inherent advantages over the hippo (the main one being infinitely more intelligent).

hippoAn interesting little bit of trivia about the hippo is that their skin secretes a natural sunscreen substance, to prevent them from getting sunburned.  It’s initially colorless, then turns red-orange within minutes, then turns to brown.  Sometimes I wish I had a natural sunscreen, like when I want to spend a summer day at the pool or playing baseball.

Another interesting bit of trivia is that the hippo can consume 150 pounds of grass each night.  That’s a LOT of grass!  I couldn’t eat even half of that in a day, even if it was steak with bacon and shrimp.  But that’s okay, because I’d rather not be as big as a hippo.  🙂

Also, I found something we sort of have in common with hippopotami :

Most of their defecation occurs in the water, creating allochthonous deposits of organic matter along the river beds.  These deposits have an unclear ecological function.

Most of us humans prefer to use toilets instead of rivers and lakes, creating deposits of “organic matter” in sewage treatment plants.  And like the hippo, these deposits have an unclear ecological function.  🙂

Speaking of defecation…  🙂  I heard this on the TV show and found it amusing :

To mark territory, hippos spin their tails while defecating to distribute their excrement over the greatest possible area.  Hippos also urinate backwards (are retromingent), likely for the same reason.

I had never heard of that before…  Try to picture that…  I glanced around on YouTube to find a video for your viewing pleasure, and actually found one.  It’s neat to hear the surprised screams of people who are dangerously close.  (On a side note, isn’t the Internet awesome???  You can find anything on it!)  Also, I found where a South African family has a hippo living in their house as a pet.  Now picture the hippo spinning his tail while pooping to distribute his poop over the greatest possible area — in their house.  I would find that hard to live with, but maybe that’s just me.  One of my house rules is no pooping outside of the designated toilet areas.

Glancing at Wikipedia (where I confirmed this data), I found something else kinda amusing :

Hippopotamuses appear to communicate verbally, through grunts and bellows, but the purpose of these vocalizations is unknown.

I’m no important scientist, but I suspect they say the same type of stuff other animals do, like even cats and dogs.  A grunt may mean, “That’s my food, get back!” or “Hey, baby…” or “Whew! I just farted underwater and it’s all kind of stank!”  (My interpolations of their grunts are subject to dispute with certain other scientists, but I happen to know a thing or two about hippopotami.)

Now don’t you feel more educated about hippos?  🙂  You learn something every day, they say…