some quotes for your Monday

Today is Monday.  I probably don’t have to tell you that this is the least popular day of the week.  Today humor is needed more than on other days, because work can be more depressing.  So let’s kick the week off with some funny, random quotes, including one about Mondays.

There is a technical meteorological term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days.  It’s called a “Monday”.

Have a good laugh at least twice a day to ensure regularhilarity.

Today I was wondering if insane people actually know they are insane or not.  Reason is, sometimes I think I am, or going there!  But I know it; that’s the thing.  Or I think I know it… so I worry about that.  I mean do you have to NOT think you’re insane to be insane?  I almost don’t want to know the answer to that! ~ Spacecase

I’m starting a new line of restaurants called : “Mmm… Tastes Like Chicken”, and our whole menu just reads : “Mystery meat… mystery meat… mystery meat”.

Happiness is like wetting your pants — everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth.

If I had the chance to change just one thing in my life, I think I’d have to pick underpants.

My roommate says, “I’m going to take a shower and shave, does anyone need to use the bathroom?”  It’s like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first. ~ Mitch Hedberg

crazy courtroom behavior

I saw something strange in the news today…

Man apologizes for courtroom feces

DULUTH, Minn. – A Chicago man apologized for spreading his feces around a courtroom during his trial on drug charges. …

“Im going to take full responsibility for everything I did in Duluth,” Willis told the court. “I want to apologize for everything I did in court. Im sorry, your honor.”

He asked Judge David Sullivan to put him on probation. Sullivan told Willis his actions wouldn’t be held against him, but there was no reason to depart from sentencing guidelines.

The article leaves out way too much information here.  Why was he doing this?  And why weren’t his actions held against him?  I would expect him to get into some kind of trouble for that.

decorating for Halloween

A couple of us here are talking about helping a friend decorate for Halloween.  He’s just not getting into it very much, but we’ve got the ultimate plan.  Picture this :

A jack o’lantern made of poop… then set on fire…

How cool would that be?  You’d have the Halloween colors : black and orange.  And it would certainly amuse the local trick-or-treaters.  🙂

We told our friend about this, but he’s unable to see how cool this would be, so we might just surprise him that night with it, by putting it in on his front porch when it starts getting dark.

game of throwing paper

If you get bored at work, so bored that you’d like to throw paper wads at a trash can, this is the game for you.  There’s no mess and less risk of you getting caught.  It’s kinda neat, because the fan gets moved around so the wind changes direction and speed, making each throw unique.  You can throw a good curveball when the wind gets over 5.

Your score is based on how many you’ve made consecutively.  I played a couple of games and got up to 28.