a snow hurricane

This post may seem contrived given the content versus the current news event of Hurricane Sandy combining with a cold front to bring potentially unprecedented devastation, but I assure you this was written a couple of weeks ago.  It’s ironic because we discussed a snow hurricane, but considered it just rambling because that’s impossible, right?  Hurricanes require warmth to survive, yet this one may produce wintry precipitation with this “100-year-storm” / nor’easter / frankenstorm.  Anyway, enough with the irony… let’s get to the rambling.

Recently we had discussed how to prevent hurricanes, and one of our regular readers had the idea of using some of our existing technology that we’ve already invented.  His suggestion was to use our snow machine to create snow in the Sahara Desert.  (Yes, we have built a snow machine from scratch.  Follow the link if this is news to you.)  Based on just those parameters, it sounds like a win-win scenario, but there’s a flaw in the slaw.  However, I am getting ahead of myself.  Let me first explain his idea.

Of course we’d have to scale up our snow making machine many times, but this can be done given enough funds.  But as you might have already surmised, such an idea has a few logistical issues.  Making snow requires water, which is typically scarce in a desert.  (Yeah, yeah, that goes without saying — it’s a desert.  Duh!)

So this “solution” might be impossible.  But for a moment, let’s imagine the possibilities.  Given enough snow injected into the hurricane-forming cycle, could it create a snow hurricane?  (A snowicane?  A hurrisnow?  We’ll have to work on the name.)  But imagine a snowstorm in the form of a hurricane that comes to the southern U.S. and dumps snow everywhere… that would be awesome!  (For those of you not familiar with the southern U.S., it rarely snows here.  It’s a BIG DEAL when we get accumulation on the ground — schools cancel (sometimes even at the mere forecast of snow), businesses close, and people play in the snow and make snow ice cream.  Here in Arkansas, we rarely get more than a couple inches a year.)  Although, besides the awesomeness of it, there would be collateral damages, and then we’d be working on a way to stop it, so perhaps we aren’t really fixing the problem with this “solution”.  But personally, I’d rather have several inches of snow than several inches of rain, so I’m all for it.

Perhaps we should apply science here instead of just rambling.  (What an idea!)  Hurricanes may start with dry desert air, but they have to accumulate moisture at some point.  If we could make that moisture cold enough and somehow get it to stay cold… well, this might be impossible as well.

This idea will require a professional-grade think tank.  Fortunately, the Buffet o’ Blog R&D (Research & Development) team is qualified for such a task.  What we’ll need is (can you guess?): a lot of money.  Now, I know, you’re thinking it doesn’t take money to think, and there’s some truthiness to that.  But a hurricane-scale snow maker isn’t gonna build itself, plus there are numerous logistical impossibilities to overcome, and we’d need time away from our jobs to accomplish this mission.  So if you want a hurricane made of snow, you’re gonna have to send us money.  There’s simply no other way.  Again, we can print off some official certificates saying you’re awesome for contributing to this world-changing project, and you’ll feel warm and toasty inside (except when you’re out playing in the snow).

If you have money but doubt our plan, we could draw up some diagrams and flow charts to send to you in exchange for funding.  🙂  We could also meet to discuss this over good pizza…  (Our R&D department usually meet while eating… we’ve found it’s good for morale and having good ideas.)

carving pumpkins with guns

It’s that time of year when people carve up pumpkins to make jack o’lanterns for Halloween.  Traditionally this is done with a knife, but some people choose to think outside the box and have a little more fun with it.

One guy who calls himself Hickok45 uses various guns to “carve” his pumpkins.  In one video, he used a Glock .40 caliber:

In another video he used an Arsenal SGL 21 (7.62X39) to make a jack o’lantern.

He has many other shooting videos, like using an Uzi to blow up 50 two-liter sodas.  It was neat to see them exploding in slow-motion.  (This reminds me, it’s been way too long since I’ve shot stuff for fun.)  He shoots barrels full of water with historical guns, like the WWII German subgun, the MP40, then uses his 10mm pistol to finish it off.  So far, he has 702 videos, with over 93 million total video views.  That’s probably well over the amount where you start getting paid by YouTube for your videos.  That’s the kind of job I need!

much randomness on Facebook

That subject could go a couple of ways, and I will take both paths in one post… or at least try and see what happens.  First, there’s already randomness and humor on Facebook.  People post some crazy things, displaying their ignorance / stupidity for all their friends to see.  Case in point:

For the second direction, consider this an announcement that Buffet o’ Blog is joining the Facebook.  Now you can like / follow Buffet o’ Blog via your personal Facebook account.

This will increase our virtual community of people who enjoy clean humor, funny stuff, and randomness.  The more, the merrier, as they say — which will especially apply to the caption contests and free-for-all stories.

This will also make it easier to share posts with friends.  We’d appreciate the referral, and surely you know people who either like this kind of humor already or who need more humor in their life.

So thank you for your support, and we’ll continue to publish funny stuff you’ve never seen or thought of before.  🙂

much ado about nothing

Before yesterday’s post (ARRR!) we received a message here via the Contact Us form.  (By the way, anyone can use it, and you can ask any question — see the link for details.)  This message was a little unusual.  I’ll let you see for yourself:

Name: chester
Email: gas@yo-mommashouse.org
Message: yo, mr. blog dude. your blog promised to give me more than my ‘recommended allowance of randomness’ but there hasn’t been an update in almost 3 weeks! whats up with that? that’s like breach of contract and stuff. you better start posting new stuff, or i’m going to get my law degree from one of those online accredited universities and sue! that’s right! I’LL be the one enjoying the free cheesedip each month once this blog starts making money and not you! so help a brother out, and save me the $19.95 i’d have to spend on a law degree and post more stuff! you’ve been warned!

Okay, I know who this is from, and he can suck rocks.  🙂  But I will nonetheless address his concerns since he took the time to write.

1) There has been a lack of content lately, and while I have many valid excuses of various activities competing for my time, it will be suffice to sum up with: I had stuff to do.  🙂

2) There is no free cheese dip each month.  (I wish!)

3) If you’re really desiring more content, here’s a fun thing to try.  In the sidebar there is a link called Random Randomness, which takes you to a random post on this blog.  There are very few readers (if any) who have read every post and all the comments.  Besides, there’s great content that you might’ve forgotten about.

4) For additional enjoyment, click on “Say What” in the categories list, and read through the comments for the caption contests.  The comments are what makes it great, and you’ll probably think of additional captions to add while you’re there.