Warning : May contain more than your daily recommended allowance of randomness
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Author: Buffet o' Blog
Laughing is good for you. So this blog is a buffet of randomness and humor. Most of the content here is original and thus exclusive to this site. I encourage everyone to participate in the comments section -- it makes it more fun for everyone.
A Phillies fan tried to get into the baseball game with an alligator on a leash, saying it was a “service animal”. Judging by the picture, this alligator is at least 6 feet long, which is certainly large enough to seriously injure someone.
Surely this is a prank or joke or Photoshop. Has an alligator ever been domesticated? They don’t really care for humans, in general. I’ve never heard of one being a pet. And the danger factor is off-the-charts — one bite and you could lose an arm or a leg. So I’d guess this is not real. However, people do weird things, and it would not surprise me if someone actually attempted this. It doesn’t make any logical sense, but since when has that stopped some people?
Okay, so I did some research, and this actually is an emotional support animal named Wally for someone in Philadelphia. So it’s legit, but why? How does an alligator provide emotional support? I don’t get it. Honestly, if an alligator is what is giving you emotional support maybe feelings aren’t for you… 🙂
FYI, the gator wasn’t allowed into the game. I hope security took advantage of the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to say “See you later alligator!”
Let me tell you two things about Oreos that you may not know (since I made it up).
1) There are three servings of Oreos per package. Forget what the nutritional information box says on the back — that’s just to appease the FDA with their serving size suggestions and such. The evidence is that they are divided neatly into three rows, so you know how many to eat per sitting without having to count them. It’s a clever design.
2) Regular Oreos should be called Lite Oreos. The Double-Stuf Oreos should be considered normal, because they have the ideal balance between creme filling and cookie shell. (I realize this is my opinion, so others may think differently, but I have done exhaustive research on this topic and I’m right.)
Now you know…
BONUS TRIVIA: Do you know how many flavors of Oreos that have been made? (I wouldn’t expect anyone to know the literal number, but do you think it’s over 30 or 50 or 100?) One count I found is 143 different flavors of Oreos. I know I’ve seen a few weird ones in the store occasionally, but I had no idea there were that many. (Actually, I usually try to NOT look at the Oreo display in the grocery store, because I would always want to buy a package but I also want to be healthy, so they must be eaten in moderation.) Anyway, I happened across a website about snacks that ranked all 143 flavors of Oreos they found. The list starts with the worst ones, which are the most interesting (to read about, not to eat). If you want to be surprised at the crazy ideas:
I normally don’t care much about fashion — IMO people should wear whatever they want, as long as it doesn’t cause problems for others. And I’ve probably embarrassed my wife with my lack of fashion and lack of concern about fashion. However, I’ll admit there are times for dressing nicer. But I saw this pic in the news and just don’t get it. While Justin Bieber’s wife is promoting some new beauty product, she’s dressed up, and he looks absolutely goofy, like he lost a bet and had to wear something stupid.
Can somebody explain this to me? Is he being trendy in any way whatsoever? Or did he reach the point of not caring what anybody thinks? Does she not care that he looks the opposite of her? Why did she not leave him at home for this event? Did he just climb out of bed while she’s walking out the door and he didn’t know what’s going on? Is he trying to look bad? Is he trolling her?
Either way, I still don’t understand fashion. If you have any explanation (serious or not), please leave a comment. Actually, let’s just make it a caption contest. If you don’t have a serious explanation, think of something funny to add, like what they might be thinking, or what someone else might say.
Car horns are very one-dimensional. We might use it for multiple purposes, but it always sounds the same. So what if you had different buttons for different types of car horns to serve various purposes? For example, if the car in front of you at the traffic light fails to notice the light turned green because their phone is interesting, you can let them know. Or maybe you want to get someone’s attention but it’s not an angry or dangerous situation. Mark Rober has designed an upgrade for the standard car horn that I really like.
It looks doable for even novice engineers and not very expensive, so it would be a good DIY project. But why stop where he did? His is built for functionality, which is good, but what about fun?
Notice that he said you can load any wave file you want. (A wave file is like an MP3, just uncompressed. It’s just a file that contains music or sound effects.) Wouldn’t it be nice if you had some buttons in your car that played certain sound effects or music clips on-demand within the car? There’s much potential for fun here. A couple of ideas:
1) The obvious idea is fart sounds. Your passengers would be amused (or maybe annoyed in an amusing way), and you could use it to punctuate your conversation. A few people have “Active Gas On Command”, but most of us don’t, so if you haven’t experienced that, just imagine someone saying, “Every time Donald Trump speaks it makes me feel like” [pushes button] PHVRRRT! (Yes, some people actually have the ability to do that.)
2) Dramatic music — This could be clips from movie soundtracks to set the general tone for a few seconds, like if you wanted to activate stealth mode (e.g., the Mission Impossible theme), or you need to speed up to pass someone, or if you’re in a hurry.
3) Sound effects — Back to the idea of adding emphasis to your conversation, you could have the losing sound from the TV game show The Price Is Right, or the buzzer from Family Feud, or the pseudo-sad sound of a trombone going wah-wah-wah-wah (with the pitch going lower each time). I’d have a clasp of thunder for dramatic emphasis. (That would be so cool!) You could also have a thunder clasp followed by The Count from Sesame Street laughing, for anytime you say a number. You could have the transforming sound from the original (G1) Transformers cartoon. Maybe you’d want different car engine sounds — like a muscle car revving up or broke-down-barely-running sounds.
4) Vocal clips from movies and TV shows and YouTube videos:
“We’re in hot pursuit!” by Buford T. Justice in Smokey and the Bandit
“YEE-HAW!” by Bo Duke in The Dukes of Hazzard
“Ain’t nobody got time for that!” from the classic meme
“Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?” from Dumb & Dumber
“Crazy Taxi!” from the arcade game Crazy Taxi (story in the comments)
“MUWAHAHAHA” — an evil laugh from a mad scientist or evil genius
various sayings by KITT from Knight Rider
“Inconceivable!” from The Princess Bride
5) Prank sounds — If you have friends who strongly dislike certain sounds or songs, you could have it queued up for the right moment. Regular blog visitor Mango-Man would certainly hear the Sanford & Son soundtrack — I don’t know why it bothers him, but it’s a good time to play it around him. You could also have general-purpose clips, like to Rick-roll someone with that Rick Astley song. Or play part of the Macarena.
This would be the audio equivalent of an animated gif in a text message. It needs to happen…
Buffet o' Blog 