Tag: humor

caption contest, two fat guys

How about another caption contest for this week?  [much cheering imagined in the background]  Okay, then let’s get to it.

What's going on here?
What is going on here?

(To see the other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)

the special days of September, pt 3

Now we’re going to continue our look at the special days and holidays in September.

  • 15 Felt Hat Day — On this day, men traditionally put away their felt hats.  That’s what this holiday actually means.  But I suspect this is an old tradition, because I don’t even know anyone who wears a felt hat.
  • 15 Make a Hat Day — Ironically, this is the same day as Felt Hat Day.  Perhaps this is when you make a new hat to replace the felt one you just put away.  Again, this seem antiquated.  Who makes their own hats?   Who even wears hats?  If I’m wanting to wear a hat, it’s to play baseball, and I’ll just wear my Boston Red Sox cap.
  • 16 Collect Rocks Day — Uhh… is this day for people who don’t have a life?   I mean, collecting can be fun, like with baseball cards or maybe even with coins or stamps, but rocks?!?   At least it would be a cheap hobby, since you can get a lot of rocks for free.  And I reckon you could build a rock garden with them, though I don’t know why you’d want to.
  • 16 National Play Doh Day — Play Doh… that sounds familiar… is that the guy who was a student of Socrates?  🙂  No, not hardly.  I know what Play-Doh is — this soft clay-like substance, where you shape it into various objects, then you throw it at your little brother.
  • 16 Working Parents Day — Working parents should get this day off work, while their kids are at school.
  • 17 Citizenship Day — I’m a citizen, so I reckon I should celebrate today.  🙂
  • 17 Constitution Day — I’m thinking the U.S. Constitution should be re-read by everyone, particularly by politicians and Congress.   We need to know what rights we have, and our government needs to protect and preserve those rights.   But as it currently is, those rights are being eroded away, and few people seem to even realize it.
  • 18 National Cheeseburger Day — This is a great use of a holiday!  Obviously, this holiday means you should eat lots of cheeseburgers.  That’s not a problem for me!
  • 18 Mushroom Picking Day — What?!?  No thanks.
  • 19 International Talk Like A Pirate Day — ARR!  This day becomes more famous (infamous?) every year.   It always made working in a corporate environment a little more fun, because several people would participate.   If only the leaders would let that kind of talk continue during meetings…
  • 19 National Butterscotch Pudding Day — I figure butterscotch pudding is good, but this seems somewhat obscure.   I like the butterscotch flavor, and I like pudding, but I’ve never had them together.  Perhaps I should research it…
  • 20 National Punch Day — Is this a day to drink fruit punch or a day to punch people?   Well, the title is ambiguous, so I reckon you can interpret it however you’d like.  I might just celebrate both!  🙂  While we’re on the topic of fruit punch, I have a quick rant.  Most Mexican restaurants now serve Hi-C instead of a real made-from-fruit punch.   What’s up with that?  If it’s Hi-C, say so in the menu, but don’t call it fruit punch.  That’s misleading.
  • 21 International Peace Day — Peace, my brotha’! We should all get along, all the time, really, but at least on this day.  So set down your weapons, put aside your grudges, and let’s drink some tea together while watching cartoons.
  • 21 Miniature Golf Day — Ah, putt-putt.  That’s one of those activities that people tend to forget about, yet almost everyone who goes has a good time.  It’s not just for kids…
  • 21 National Women’s Friendship Day (third Sunday in September) — Why do women get a day to celebrate friendship?   Do they need it?  Is there a lack of friendship between women?
  • 21 World Gratitude Day — Be thankful for this blog, which is provided to you free of charge.   You get fresh, original humor on a near-daily basis, all at no cost.  (We do, however, accept donations.  We accept cash, checks, PayPal, gift cards, cookies, and compliments.)
  • 22 Elephant Appreciation Day — Do all animals get a day of appreciation?  Apparently not, because I’ve now went through the whole year of unusual holidays, and there weren’t very many listed about animals.  So what makes elephants special?  Is it their size?  Their memory?  The world may never know…
  • 22 Dear Diary Day — Dear Diary, today I wrote on Buffet o’ Blog, and my ramblings were enjoyed by thousands of people (over time, perhaps).  It’s great that I get to share my awesomeness with the world, for free.  If only I could get paid for writing…
  • 22 First Day of Autumn — I suppose that it’s necessary to define the seasons by a set standard for record-keeping and statistics, but to me, I say it’s autumn / fall when the temperature reflects it.  If it still feels like summer, then it’s summer.  When it’s cool enough that I want to be outside during the day, then it’s fall.
  • 23 Dog in Politics Day — I don’t know… So I did some quick research, and found that it has to do with Richard Nixon’s dog Checkers.  Why his dog gets his own holiday, I don’t know…
  • 24 National Cherries Jubilee Day — WOO-HOO!  Let’s have a jubilee about, um, cherries.  I don’t get it…
  • 24 National Bluebird of Happiness Day — Once again, infamous explorer extraordinaire Burford had been mere feet from capturing the elusive Bluebird of Happiness.   The bird was walking toward Burford’s grasp, when a chimpanzee farted, scaring away the bird in a startled frenzy.  Burford usually laughs when chimps pass gas, but this time it was no laughing matter.  Burford walked over to the chimp and pooted in his face.  The chimp promptly slapped Burford’s butt and laughed hysterically.
  • 24 National Punctuation Day — It’s important to use punctuation otherwise your writing is difficult to read most businesses frown upon sloppy grammar skills thinking it reflects a lack of education they may also suspect the ungrammatical person didn’t try very hard in school so you should always use punctuation it’s really important
  • 25 National Comic Book Day — Didn’t we already have this holiday this year?  Either way, comic books should get more attention.  They tend to get a bad reputation in the media and with most adults, but they are a great art form.  Of course, some comics are stupid and/or not worth reading, just like with many TV shows and movies.  But some comics are entertaining and will even make you think.  So don’t just dismiss them without giving them a chance.
  • 27 Crush a Can Day — Why in the world is there a day for this?  I suppose it can be amusing to see someone crush a can on their head and inadvertently hurt themselves.  But a holiday is not needed for that.  Who decides which days get to be holidays?
  • 27 International Rabbit Day (fourth Saturday in September) — Is this a day to celebrate rabbits?  Or is it a day to have rabbit stew?  And do all parts of the world even have rabbits?
  • 28 Ask a Stupid Question Day — Ah, this one is interesting.  Think of a stupid question, then ask someone.  You can ask us here at Buffet o’ Blog, using our Contact Us form.  We may not have the right answer, but we can give you an answer.  🙂  I realize some people have said there is no such thing as a stupid question, but they have never worked in tech support.
  • 28 National Good Neighbor Day — Do we need a special day for this?  Ideally, no, but probably.  So here’s what you do — be friendly to your neighbor, ask them if you can help them with anything, or bake them some cookies.  But at least be friendly.
  • 29 Confucius Day — You’ve probably heard a lot of those “Confucius say” quotes.  He actually said some good things, if you look at his actual quotes, but you can search for them if you’re interested.  I’ll include just a few of the funny (non-quote) ones.  Confucius say man who run behind car get exhausted.  Confucius say man who push piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.  (A word of warning to anyone in that mineshaft — if you don’t C Sharp, you’ll B Flat!)  Confucius say people who make Confucius joke speak bad English.  🙂
  • 30 National Mud Pack Day — What’s a mud pack?  Is that where women cover their face with mud and put slices of cucumbers over their eyes?  That’s silly.  Although, if you’re paying someone to cover you with mud and vegetables, that’s even more silly.  (But think of what kind of profit margin those businesses have!)

Well, that concludes our look at the special days and holidays in September.   I hope you found some that you could celebrate.  Click here to search for the other posts on the special days of September.

the special days of September, pt 1

As we’ve done in previous months, we’re going to look at the special days and holidays of this month.   As usual, this is not a complete list — those can be found elsewhere.   But I guarantee you will not find another list like this one.   This is not a mere list, because we add our own unique commentary and analysis.  In other words, we try to make it more fun.   And you are welcome to add to the discussion in the comments section.

Let’s get started with the month-long celebrations and observances in September:

  • Classical Music Month — I know, some people equate classical music with elevator music or new age music or Yanni, and that’s not accurate at all.   Some of it jams.   I’ve heard someone say, “People who don’t like classical music just don’t listen to it loud enough.”  There might be some truth to that.   Also, don’t forget that a lot of your action movies have classical music in them.  Take notice next time…
  • International Square Dancing Month — I’m not much into square dancing, but if it’s your thing, more power to ya.  But I do have one bit of advice which I heard on Lester “Roadhog” Moran’s album Live at the Johnny Mack Brown High School: if you change partners, be sure to change back!  Failure to revert to your original partner can cause some “disagreements”, as evidenced on Roadhog’s album.  AWW-RIGHT!
  • National Courtesy Month — Courtesy can be applied to many areas, so this is a good idea.  If there’s only one piece of fried chicken left, it’s good courtesy to offer it to me.   Or if you’re in a multi-stall public bathroom, a courtesy flush is much appreciated.  I could go on, but you get the idea…
  • National Chicken Month — Speaking of fried chicken…  There’s a lot of ways to cook chicken that is excellent.   Of course, you can’t go wrong with fried chicken.  There’s also Mexican Chicken, which is my favorite dish.   Mmm…
  • National Piano Month — More focus on music — I like it!  The piano is my favorite musical instrument.  This would be a good month to go hear a live performance, like at a local college or university, or if a professional artist is in the state.  Or if you’ve always wanted to play, start taking lessons.  (I do offer lessons, but even if you don’t learn from me, it’s a great skill to develop.)
  • National Honey Month — Supposedly honey is the only food that never spoils.   Whether that’s true or not, I just know that I like honey, especially on some warm rolls…  Mmm…
  • Self Improvement Month — Here at Buffet o’ Blog, we encourage people to laugh more, which is a form of self-improvement.  The world really needs more laughter.   If you want more meaty forms of self-improvement, check out my other blog.
  • Better Breakfast Month — I’m all for this!  Now, some health nuts may argue that this means eating a healthier breakfast, but that’s not the case here.  If that’s what the holiday’s creator wanted, he/she should’ve called it Healthier Breakfast Month.  But it’s “better”.   And the definition of “better” includes “superior to another in desirability”, which for me, would mean more bacon, sausage, eggs, biscuits and gravy, chocolate milk, etc.  There’s no need to even debate this, as far as I’m concerned.   🙂
  • National Rice Month — Most of the world eats rice on a regular basis, particularly those in poverty.  So please take a few minutes to play the Free Rice game to donate rice to those in need.   Remember, it costs you nothing but a few minutes.
  • Read-A-New-Book Month — If you don’t like reading, you just haven’t found the right books.  Even if you read humor or comic books or scientific books or historical books, there’s got to be something you’d enjoy.  Plus, reading is good for you: it stimulates (exercises) your brain, plus you learn things you didn’t know before.   And it’s good to learn, so you’ll be less ignorant.   🙂

Now let’s look at the week-long observances in September:

  • 2nd Week: International Housekeepers Week — I wish I had a housekeeper, so I didn’t have to ever do dishes and clean the bathrooms…
  • 3rd Week: National Farm Animals Awareness Week — Most of us don’t see farm animals very often anymore, at least in live form.   So when you’re eating farm animals this week, be thankful and appreciate of how tasty they are.
  • 3rd Week: National Flower Week — I know who this is for…  🙂
  • 4th Week: National Dog Week — Dogs are much better than flowers, at least to most guys…  🙂  With women, that might be debatable, although it shouldn’t be.

This list is getting considerably long, so I’m going to break it up into several posts.  Click here to search for the other posts on the special days of September.

caption contest, clown vs soldiers

How about another caption contest…   Excited?   Yes, you should be.  Let us get to the picture then.   I think most of you understand how this works by now.   (If not, just write something funny about this photo.)

(To see the other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)