caption contest, clown jumping rope with hot dogs

The circus is in town!  Okay, not literally, but that looks to be the case for this week’s caption contest.  There’s a woman dressed in a clown suit, and she’s jumping rope with hot dogs.  It’s up to you to figure out a story / joke / pun for this picture.  Remember, it can be from the clown’s perspective, or the people watching, or the employers, or anyone.  Just keep it clean.  If you don’t have anything to add, you can still enjoy the comments of others.

(To see our other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)

warnings for hot dogs?

There’s a vegan advocacy group that is suing 5 of the major hot dog manufacturers, wanting a cancer-risk warning label to be placed on all hot dog packages sold in New Jersey.  (Only New Jersey?)  The lawsuit is on behalf of 3 New Jersey residents who bought hot dogs without knowing that they are (supposedly) a cause of colorectal cancer.  Well, the reason there’s no such warning is that such a claim has never been proven scientifically.  (And that seems like a valid reason.)

The president of the Cancer Project (who filed this lawsuit) compares the health risk of eating hot dogs to the lung cancer risk of smoking cigarettes.   I’m thinking WHATEVER.  Only when science backs that up will I believe such a claim.

If they start putting these warning labels on hot dogs, then we might as well throw the whole bathtub out with the bathwater.  How about this?   I think certain restaurants need a warning label for potential flatulence.   If a particular restaurant tends to give you gas (for example, Taco Bell), that could put your social status at risk.  Suppose you’re about to go in for a major job interview, but you’ve got a rumbly in your tumbly because of eating a few double cheesy beefy burritos.  It happens!  (Sadly, in today’s over-the-top “politically correct” society, I could see such a thing passing…)

the special days of July, pt 3

Now we will once again continue our look at the special days / holidays / observances / celebrations of July.

  • 14 Pandemonium Day — Should we really schedule a day of sheer bedlam and utter chaos?  Don’t we have enough things going wrong naturally?  Or, was this holiday thought up for us to create pandemonium on this day?  Hmm…
  • 15 Cow Appreciation Day — One website said to “Go out and give a cow a hug”.  I’ll have to pass on that one.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate cows.  There’s not much better than a good cheeseburger or steak.  I’m very thankful for those foods.  But I don’t see the need for me to go hug a cow.
  • 17 Peach Ice Cream Day — Peach?  There’s a lot of ice cream flavors I’d prefer to celebrate before peach.
  • 17 Yellow Pig Day — What?  Are there yellow pigs?  I glanced online, and found that this day is also dedicated to the number 17.  Huh?  Is this Sesame Street?  Is this day for mathematicians?  If so, wouldn’t they prefer a better number?
  • 18 National Caviar Day — I know a guy who used to give caviar to his cat.  (This was the free version of caviar.)
  • 19 National Raspberry Cake Day — I don’t think I’ve ever had a raspberry cake, but I’d try it, especially with some ice cream on the side.
  • 19 Stick Your Tongue Out Day — Do this after you’ve had some raspberry cake.  🙂
  • 20 Moon Day — I’m not sure why the moon needs a holiday.  I know, this day is to celebrate when Armstrong and Aldrin landed on the moon in 1969, and that was a big step for mankind or somethin’.  But what value does the moon provide to us?  Besides, the moon is broken.  I’ve written a number of articles about the moon (which you can search for by clicking here).
  • 20 National Ice Cream Day — Can you imagine a world without ice cream?  I sure don’t want to try!  So today, don’t take ice cream (or milkshakes) for granted.  Eat all you want, and be thankful for it.
  • 20 Ugly Truck Day — This truck is the winner…
  • 20 Chess Day — CHECKMATE!  I win, you lose!  Oh, what’s that?  You didn’t even know we were playing?  That’s how fast I am.  Don’t feel too ashamed… it happens to everyone I play.
  • 20 Ice Cream Soda Day — Why is this so close to National Ice Cream Day?  This year (2008), they fall on the same day (because Ice Cream Day is the third Sunday of the month).  This is a great day, and it should not get lost by being so close to a day when you’re already eating lots of ice cream.
  • 21 National Junk Food Day — Lunch this day will consist of Cheetos, with a dessert of Hostess Ding Dongs.  Mmm…
  • 21 Monkey Day — If you’re an aspiring evil genius but can’t yet afford the dues for the minions’ union, you can use trained monkeys for a while.  That’s what I hear, anyway…
  • 22 Hammock Day — This would be a good day to take a nap in a hammock.  That is, during work hours.
  • 23 National Hot Dog Day — It’s already National Hot Dog Month, so why is it also a day?  Are we supposed to eat even more on this day?  That might not be a bad thing, but this holiday seems kinda redundant.
  • 23 Vanilla Ice Cream Day — It’s also National Ice Cream Month.  But this day focuses on vanilla.  If the vanilla flavor is too, um, vanilla for you, try adding crumbled-up Oreos and some Hershey’s chocolate.  I’ve personally researched this combination, and it gets my approval.
  • 23 Ice Cream Cone Day — This should be self-explanatory.
  • 23 Mosquito Day — This day, however, should not exist.  Are we supposed to celebrate mosquitoes?  As far as I’m concerned, they’re evil.
  • 24 Cousins Day — I have to buy enough presents at Christmas, so we don’t need more holidays like this.  Although, if you have cousins, then you’re a cousin.  Just don’t tell them about this holiday, because it’s definitely obscure, and go out and buy yourself something.
  • 25 Culinarians Day — This is a special day for anyone who cooks.  If you don’t like to cook or just don’t want to on this day, you can go out to eat at a restaurant and be thankful for the cooks there.  🙂
  • 26 All or Nothing Day — Some might apply this day to gambling, but I don’t endorse gambling, so let’s apply it to food.  On this day, you either eat all you can eat or you eat nothing.  And since our body needs food anyway, you should visit all-you-can-eat restaurants and enjoy yourself.
  • 26 Aunt and Uncle Day — Why?!?  Nothing against these family relatives, but this doesn’t need to be a holiday.  Was this created by Hallmark?  Is this another attempt at a “greeting card holiday”?  No, thanks!
  • 27 Parent’s Day — This is on the fourth Sunday in July.  Again, this is a useless holiday.  I’m thankful and appreciative of my parents, but they already have days devoted to them: Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.  No mas, por favor.
  • 27 Take Your Pants for a Walk Day — Who comes up with this silliness?  I mean, you already walk with pants on all the time.  To make the day more unique, why don’t they change this day to “take a walk without your pants” day?
  • 27 Bugs Bunny’s Birthday — This isn’t a holiday, per se, but it’s worth mentioning because he’s an legend in the world of cartoons.  Bugs Bunny first debuted in cartoons in 1940.  They just don’t make cartoons like that anymore…  (BTW, also this month was Marvin the Martian’s birthday, on July 24, 1948.)
  • 28 National Milk Chocolate Day — This is a great idea for a holiday!  Eat all the milk chocolate (or chocolate milk) you want.  Remember that diets don’t apply on holidays.
  • 28 Hamburger Day — I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.   🙂  The hamburger, or cheeseburger, is so important to American culture that it should be celebrated each week, I think.
  • 29 National Lasagna Day — Garfield would like this, huh?  I like it, too.
  • 30 National Cheesecake Day — You know what to do — eat cheesecake this day.  That’s the obvious part.  What you might not have thought of yet is that you should arrange to have a cheesecake sent to Buffet o’ Blog headquarters.  (Don’t worry if it’s not the actual date — we’ll appreciate it whenever it is.)  I’ll even post your name on the blog, for all to see your generosity.  🙂
  • 30 Father-in-Law Day — What?!?  Isn’t this already covered by Father’s Day?  Another redundant holiday.
  • 31 Mutt’s Day — Apparently this day is to recognize the dogs that aren’t a pure breed.  Have you ever wondered if you’re a mutt?  I haven’t.  By the way, I mean, not that you’re a dog, but just not a pure breed of a subspecies.  But if you are a mutt, don’t feel bad, because most people are fine with mutts.   I wouldn’t pay hundreds of dollars for some dog just because he came with “papers”.  Free puppies are better than paying lots of money for one.

Well, we finally finished the special days of July.  I hope you found some you could celebrate.   Click here to search for the other entries for July.

people who eat massive amounts of food at one sitting

I saw a news article where someone called “Eater X” ate 12 pounds of burritos in 12 minutes.  After his victory, he said, “I love Mexican food.”  Obviously!  He was competing for $3,000 in prize money.  He said he prepared for the contest by eating candy the previous day.

That news led me to the Major League Eating website, where I saw a profile for someone who is amazing when it comes to eating, who demolished the hot dog eating record.

Many consider Takeru Kobayashi the most dominant living athlete.  His feat on July 4th, 2001, of downing 50 hot dogs and buns in 12 minutes doubled the previous record and left entire continents agape with disbelief.  Since that fateful day, his gurgitating prowess has gone almost uncontested and his feats have left people shaking their heads.  In a televised Japanese contest known as “Weight Crash”, Kobayashi once gained a staggering 27 pounds in 45 minutes.

I wouldn’t consider him the most dominant living athlete — especially after eating like that! — but I must admit that is impressive.  I’ve been at a party where some friends had a hot dog eating contest, and I think the winner got to about 8.  (I didn’t participate; if only it had been back in my high school days when I still had a metabolism…)

Imagine how big 50 hot dogs with buns would be in a pile — it would be several feet high!  Then imagine someone eating all those!  That is a LOT of bread to consume at once.  I don’t see how someone can do that… it’s like eating is his super power…