talking smack without backing it up

The competitiveness of sports leads to some great smack-talking sometimes.  You may not hear it as much on the professional level, but sometimes it’s there.  Today we got to witness that, at the 2009 Wimbledon.

To set up the story, Roger Federer played Robin Soderling in the final at the 2009 French Open less than a month ago.  Before that match, Soderling had joked with his coach that nobody beats him 10 times in a row, because he was 0-9 against Federer.  As you know, Federer won that match fairly easily.  After the match, Soderling told everyone about that conversation, even saying it to Federer, and then joked that nobody beats him 11 times in a row.  Which leads us to today’s match, where they met again.

Soderling’s game translates better to grass, so one would expect this match to be closer.  The score was close, even though Federer won in straight sets.  I’m curious what Soderling will say this time…  🙂

it’s time for some research funding!

Some of us on the Buffet o’ Blog staff have joked that we should start a research project and find a way to get funded by the government.   After glancing over just part of the 2009 Omnibus Appropriations Act / spending bill, I’m convinced that we should actually do it.  Initially we were just joking, but people are getting big bucks for projects that our government probably shouldn’t be supporting.  Here’s a few examples:

* $360,000 to the “NOAA National Weather Service Pacific Region Headquarters to purchase, install, and maintain rain gages”.   Okay, maybe this one should be funded.   But $360,000 for rain gages?!?  I know, they have to pay someone to install and maintain them.  Still, you can buy a LOT of rain gages and pay quite a few salaries with that kind of money!   And that doesn’t sound like a full-time job for several people…  (On a side note, I was taught “gauges” is the correct spelling, but apparently both are acceptable.  Silly English language!)

* $1,000,000 to “Rhode Island Coastal Resource Management Council for the development of a comprehensive habitat restoration and protection plan for Narragansett Bay and nearby water bodies”.  But that’s not all.  Here’s a related one: another one million dollars to “Save the Bay for a middle-school youth program to study, cleanup, and preserve Narragansett Bay”.  Really?!? A million bucks to a professional group just to DEVELOP a plan seems WAY high, but then to add another million for a middle-school program?  Where’s that money going???   It’s not going to the kids.  It’s probably not going to the teachers.  Someone should watch that program.

* $2,150,000 to Wisconsin for the “Wisconsin Height Modernization Program”.  Is the height of Wisconsin out-of-date?  I don’t know what that’s about…

* $5,600,000 to “The JASON Project”.  I have no idea what that is.  But I’m thinking there should be a “Buffet o’ Blog Project”!  We can call it “The BoB Project” for short.   Our state senators should just put it in there for something small, like $100,000.  Who reads these bills anyway?  I don’t think our congressmen do.   This bill is 1,122 pages long, and they had less than 36 hours to read it before it was voted on.  I need to make some phone calls!

* $400,000 for “Horseshoe Crab Research”.  I wonder if this will involve the eating of any…  I’d like to participate in some type of research that involves lots of eating (as long as it’s not vegetables).

* $1,500,000 to “Auburn University for research”.   Some of the earmarks explain what the research is for, but to put “for research” is very generic.  It seems like there would be difficulty in maintaining accountability for that money…   Hmm…  that gives me an idea for my future “research” project(s)…  🙂

The list goes on and on and on and on.  You get the idea.  If you want to look over the plan, here’s the link.  (Be forewarned it’s a 12MB PDF file.)

Enough rambling about all that.  I’ve got to go now, so I can think up some type of “research” I can do to get lots of money.  Apparently this is the American way, and now that Pelosi and the Democrats are spending money like two-year-olds in a candy store, it’s time for me to get in on the redistribution of wealth!

how I’d party in Obama’s situation

I was just reading about the crazy-huge inauguration party that Obama is having.  The budget for it is $49 million, but the estimated actual cost is around $150 million.  I could think of much better ways to allocate taxpayer funds, but I already ranted about that on my other blog.

Here, let’s take a more humorous view of it.  The $49M will cover the standard amount of food, security, and other necessary items for a Presidential party.   (That still seems very excessive, but whatever.)  So Obama is spending an additional $100M for his party.

Let’s see… if I was hosting a party and had an extra $100M to spend, what would I do?   That’s so much money that it boggles the mind.  I don’t even know where to start.

I’d have the world’s largest nachos buffet, for starters.   (Although that could be covered by saving money on the standard food package — you know they’re overpaying for that stuff.)   Actually, with all that money, I’d have available ALL the types of food I want.  There would be lots of games with fabulous consolation prizes.  I’d have huge virtual reality gaming booths, with the latest technology.

I need to start thinking bigger or I’ll never spend that kind of money.  Let’s see… I’d buy my own private island.  Yeah, that’s it.  And I’d have a castle built on my own island.  I’d buy my own private plane (along with carbon credits so folks couldn’t complain).  And I’d fly all my friends to said island for a massive after-party party that lasted for weeks.  They’d all get vacation pay so it won’t hurt to miss work.

I’d probably still have some money left over after that, surprisingly.  So I’d build a weather-controlling satellite and take over the world.   Wait, maybe I should hold off on that one for a while.

I’d create my own TV station, and it would play only programs approved by me.   So of course it would be awesome, and I’d make millions more dollars.  🙂

This could go on for a while, I think.  So I’ll stop for now.