there’s a person…

There's a person… it could be you, if you want it to be.

Someone out there is eagerly awaiting the next quote by our nearly-infamous resident quotesmith Turtle Dundee. And so we make you wait no longer…

You just can't go wrong with chocolate-filled donuts… because they're filled with… chocolate. And chocolate is about as good as gold. Except you can't eat gold. … And chocolate doesn't look as good in jewelry…

being overweight can be good for your health

Many health "experts" claim that being fat is really bad for you, but today in the news was an example of where being overweight can actually be good for your health :

Bulky man barely injured as car rolls over him

BERLIN (Reuters) – A 440 pound German man discovered that being overweight can be good for your health — if you get run over by a car.

German police said the extra body mass prevented the 30-year-old man from suffering potentially fatal injuries when a Volkswagen Polo drove over him after he braked suddenly on his bicycle at a crossroads and fell off in front of the car.

"It certainly helped him in this case," said Sven-Marco Claus, a spokesman for police in the western town of Gifhorn on Monday. "Someone smaller would probably not have been so lucky."

The man dislocated his hip, which local doctors put back in place, but otherwise suffered only scratches and a bloody nose from the underside of the vehicle, police said.

hypnosis may soothe irritable bowel

Check out what is in an article at WebMD :

In the study, published in the Journal of Clinical Nursing, 20 men and 55 women received between five and seven half-hour hypnotherapy sessions over a three-month period. During the sessions, each patient was instructed to place his or her hands on the site of maximum abdominal discomfort and induce feelings of warmth and comfort in that region.

The therapist also told patients to imagine their gut as a river that changes how it flows. Constipated patients were told to envision the river as motionless and then freely flowing. Patients with diarrhea were told to imagine the river flowing more slowly.

Afterwards, patients reported a 5% reduction in abdominal pain and a 4% reduction in abdominal bloating.

Uhh…  where do I start?  First off, that's just crazy.  That reminds me of an episode of Beavis & Butt-head, where Beavis was on the toilet and trying to use manners, saying things like : "Please come out of my butt."

Second, what's up with only a 4% to 5% reduction?  That could just happen on its own, that 5% of the people have less pain after a few hours.  And would you want to sit through 5 to 7.5 hours of hypnotherapy for just a 5% chance of feeling better?  Why is this even on the site?

Prank-related products

Everyone enjoys a good prank every now and then.  But who has the time to create an authentic hand-crafted masterpiece these days?  I think there's a market out there for pre-made, ready to use pranks.  Example – you remeber the Whoopie Cushion, good for one use, then had to be refilled, a rather slow and awkward process.  Now there's a self-inflating whoopie cushion out there, capable of over 10 FPM.  This is a huge improvent in prank technology. What the world needs now, however, is a prank for those ever present plugin air freshners, something to combine forces with a hidden Cushion, and take the joke to a whole new level.  I think you all know where this is going…