Amy from Del Rio, Texas, writes the Cat Research Institute, asking:

"Dear C.R.I. How many cats does it take to equal one horsepower?"

Oh, Amy, if only you knew how many times we get asked this question!

We have finally decided to put our research resources to determining exactly how many catpowers it takes to equal one horsepower.  We assembled our staff and discussed the various testing strategies, and finally came up with a precision test — a "tug of war" between cats and horses.

Weeks of research and testing allowed us to create a special cat harness that was comfortable while at the same time would transfer the full power of each cat into the pulling cable.  We decided to group the cats in teams of 100 each.  This would allow us to add 100 cat-pullers at a time.

Finally, testing day arrived.  We started by hooking up 400 cats to the pulling cable, versus just one horse on the opposite end.  Then, one of our testers took a box of cat-treats and stood in front of the cats, and shook the box of treats.  Naturally, the cats tried to swarm him.  At the other end, another tester stood in front of the horse, and waived a carrot, and said, "Giddap, Bessie".

The results were dissapointing.  The horse didn't even seem to notice the 400 cats pulling against the rope, and easily got the carrot.

So we hooked up 400 more cats.  This was a little better, the horse did seem to hesitate a bit before reaching the carrot.  So we added 200 more cats, then 100 more then 50, etc.

Our final results were that it takes 1,186 cats to equal one horsepower.

When asked about these amazing results, the cats showed a mixed response.  6% said "Meow", 4% responded with "Reow", 2% offered no opinion, and the overwhelming majority — 88% — either yawned or slept through the interview.

So, Amy of Del Rio, Texas, you can sleep well at night, knowing that the Cat Research Institute is ready to answer this and all the other important questions about cats.  🙂

If the last post has caused temporary or permanent insanity, the creators would like to apologize.  It is unhealthy to read.

Does this site need more disclaimers?  In these times, when people can sue you because they're stupid, probably so…  So I'll try to write another one.

This blog is meant purely for entertainment purposes.  Many people won't even find it good for that, but ya know what?  I don't care.  If you like it, you like it, and I like you.  If you don't, well then good for you, but watch your back.  🙂

Hmm… that didn't turn out so well, did it?  Maybe I should practice my politically correct speech…  well, that ain't gonna happen!  So how about this — just don't sue us.  You'll just run up big lawyer fees and get nothing in return.  I mean, the official Buffet o' Blog savings jar is down to a few pennies.  We raided it last night to get some Taco Bell.

If reading this blog makes you want to do dangerous and/or illegal things, then you should quit reading it.  (DUH!)  You should read children's books instead.  There's some great classics out there.  I won't recommend any, but your local library can help out.  Tell the librarian that you want something at or below the 3rd grade level because you can't handle mature (or even adolescent) humor.

Thank you, drive thru…

For high blood pressure sufferers : simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.  Remember to use a timer.

Note : This was not at all approved by Dr. Important Doctor.

At the 2006 French Open, Rafael Nadal broke the record for consecutive days wearing Capri pants by a man.