my nose just exploded!

Hey, my nose just exploded!  Okay, maybe not quite.  It was more like a volcano erupting, which is kinda like an internal explosion.  The local indigenous peoples ran for their lives, seeking cover from the hot molten magma flying carelessly through the air.  Okay, maybe it was more like snot and boogers, and it didn’t go that far, but still, you don’t want to get any on you.

~ Thomas Wayne

how easy it is to discard Pluto

Now that Pluto is not a planet, I should get credit for that question I missed back in grade school when I put 8!

Also, since they can just change the number of planets like that, a few of us took a vote during our lunch consortium and redefined the term obesity.  Now you have to weigh at least 450 pounds to be considered obese.  So what if most of the “professionals” weren’t there — apparently it didn’t matter to this group of astronomers and yet it “counts”.  So ours counts too!

Maybe we’ll have to vote on a few other things, too…  Let’s see, for starters, what about :

  • shorten the work week to 32 hours.
  • change the food groups to something more realistic (search for our post called “the food groups”).
  • which TV channels in our cable package get “voted off” and what we get to replace them with.
  • all work meetings over 30 minutes must supply cookies.

I’m sure there’s a lot more issues we can vote on.  Who knew it was so easy to change things?  I foresee a lot of similar votes to make the world a better place.

cookies for breakfast

This morning I had freshly baked chocolate chip cookies for breakfast.  That’s a great start to a day!  And it’s Friday!  And of course I had milk with my cookies.  Isn’t it strange that we like baby cow drink?  And that it goes so well with cookies?

stealing money to buy lottery tickets

This is an actual story from the news… it would be hard to make up something this stupid…

NEW YORK (Reuters) – A woman stole $2.3 million (1.2 million pounds) from her employers and spent the money on lottery tickets, buying as much as $6,000 worth of tickets a day in a bid to hit the jackpot, prosecutors said on Thursday.

Annie Donnelly, 38, pleaded guilty on Wednesday to stealing the money over 3 1/2 years from her employer, Great South Bay Surgical Associates, where she was a bookkeeper.

(You can read more here.)

Even though she was the bookkeeper, you figure someone would’ve noticed money missing, especially after the first million or so.  But the stupid part is that this woman could’ve had millions of dollars yet spent it on lottery tickets.  How stupid!  She must’ve not thought this through…