viewer mail, issue #6

It’s time for another installment of viewer mail.  Once again, we will look at actual search terms people used to find this site.  (We still don’t have a form setup for you to submit your questions…  our lead designer acquired a Nintendo Wii and hasn’t had much free time lately.)  This is what people like you are searching for, believe it or not.  So let’s get to it, and perhaps we can help you with what you’re interested in.

  • building my own time machine — That’s a noble idea, but there’s a flaw in the slaw.  There are some parts you need, such as a transgalactic time discombobulator, that just aren’t available yet.  If you can somehow get your future self to go back in time to our current time with the parts you need, then you can accomplish this.  But without such intervention, you’re probably out of luck.  Well, unless you’re a super-genius and can build the parts yourself, but then you probably wouldn’t be searching with such a generic phrase.
  • how to be a ninja — I’m afraid there aren’t any shortcuts to this, if you want to be an authentic ninja.  Of course you can put on a black ninja outfit and pretend to be one, but everyone will see through your facade.  I wish there was an easy way to acquire this status, but I don’t know of one.  You will have to train really hard for many years.  (Perhaps we should start a ninja training school that offers a two-year degree with part-time study via correspondence, where you can become an official ninja from the comfort of your own home.)
  • how to get super powers — This has been a popular search phrase, and rightly so.  Who wouldn’t like to have super powers?  I sure would!  So I’ll try to answer your question.  It’s rather difficult to get super powers, which is probably a good thing, or there would be much chaos in the world (because some people would use them for evil, while others are just clumsy and would make a huge mess).  One way is to be born from another planet and when you come to Earth, you get super powers from our sun or our atmosphere.  Or perhaps your race is just naturally superior to humans and then when you come here, people think you’re all that, when on your home planet you were merely normal.  Another option is to be involved in some type of nuclear accident.  Obviously this has some inherent dangers involved, in that it will likely kill you.  But, according to the historical archives (movies and comics), falling into a pit of radioactive ooze can sometimes give you super powers.  Alternatively, the safest method of becoming a superhero is to collect and master high-tech devices.  Batman did this, as well as the bad guy on The Incredibles, Syndrome.  This is costly and requires a high degree of skill, but is possible.  (Hope this helps!)
  • cool — Yep, someone searched for “cool” and found this blog.  It is more evidence that this site is cool.  You know it!
  • scorpioneating scorpions side effects — Hmm… let’s start with the knowledge that some scorpions are poisonous.  Also, all of them have stingers on their tail, which I would not recommend putting in your mouth.  Even if they are dead and cooked, I still don’t think it’s a good idea to eat them.  However, as we discussed in a previous post, some restaurants consider them an “exotic food” and will serve them to you (for $30!).  I consider this a rip-off.  Even if you can eat them and survive, there’s no way it’s as good as biscuits and gravy with fried chicken.  Just no way…
  • +”dog poop” +”text sucker” — Somebody searched for this on Christmas day last month.  I certainly don’t have a problem with randomness, even on Christmas day, but this seems odd.  I figure most people are visiting their family and eating lots of food and playing with their new presents on Christmas, yet somebody is searching for dog poop.  I don’t know…  Anyway, we do have the answer you were probably looking for — it’s called Net Disaster.  It’s fun to play around with.
  • seibu lions stadium upgrade — They got their $51.1 million, so now they can upgrade their stadium in a big way!  We recently had an interesting discussion about that, specifically concerning the $6.02 million they plan to spend on “upgrading restrooms”.  We had some really good ideas, I think.  Click here to check it out.

That’s all for this issue.  Until next time, I’m Beppo.  🙂

Alcohol May Lower Heart Attack Risk

I was clearing out my inbox a day or two ago and came across an e-mail from a ‘health’ newsletter I am subscribed to.  It had the title above for the subject line so naturally it caught my eye and peaked my interest.  Not because I drink (because I don’t… & frankly I don’t care for most of the activities that is associated with drinking) but I am interested in staying ‘in the know’.So I read there article and they make the claim that “Moderate Drinking May Lower Risk for Men With High Blood Pressure”.  That’s all well and good… but what REALLY caught my eye was who the test group seems to be.  READ this excerpt and draw your own conclusion.

 The finding comes from a long-term study of nearly 12,000 male doctors,  dentists, and pharmacists with high blood pressure. 

And further in the study this observation: 

 Men who drank moderately … had a lower risk of heart attack …

I’m not sure if this concerns you or not… but apparently this study’s test group was composed entirely of “doctors, dentists, and pharmacists” drinking ‘moderately’ every day (in the name of research no less)… just to be clear ‘moderately was defined as just 1 or 2 glassess a day… but still  I’m not sure how comfortable I am with the knowledge that the surgeon working on me may well have just been drinking (once again… for RESEARCH) … no thank you! I’d rather not go under the knife with you Dr. Death!  Nor am I too thrilled that my pharmacist may be inebriated while choosing which pill and or tablet to give me. Or that my dentist might just get a little to ‘drill happy’.  Does anyone else find this a bit disconcerting?  You can read the full article here.

                                 

my Nintendo Wii review

I’ve had my for over a month now, and I’ve finally written my review of it.  I’ll be writing reviews of my games soon, and there is a link there which will pull them all up for you.

A really short summary : it is a LOT of fun!  Everyone who has played it has enjoyed it, even non-gamers.

You can continue reading my at my other blog.

-=< WII WILL ROCK YOU! >=-

SNOHAENJEL HEALTH WARNING!!!

As happens at this time each year we see a marked increase in health related problems.  Sinus problems, flu, and the common cold are… well… common.  As the winter season comes upon us I feel it is my responsibility to notify everyone of a new threat on the horizon of which you may be unaware.  It is known to the experts as  SnoHaenjel syndrome.  This is a serious condition resulting in sudden involuntary muscle movements linked closely to disorder of the nervous system and caused by abnormal electrical activity in the brain triggered by bouts of extreme cold. 

There has been a recent rash of first hand encounters in which  onlookers witness an ‘episode’ of SnoHaenjel taking place yet sadly do nothing to assist the victim with some even smiling or laughing at the unfortunate soul.   Seeming to prefer instead to watch them flounder helplessly around on the freezing snow covered ground or in a snow bank. 

Please pass along this warning to everyone you know about Snohaenjel syndrome.  Known by it’s ‘street name’ as Snow Angel.  If you are ever unfortunate enough to witness such an event please offer assistance rather than just pointing and mockingly shouting ‘snow angel’ as is the response of many. It is not yet known what causes ‘Snow Angel’ syndrome.  As one victim puts it “I’m not sure what happened… one minute I was shoveling snow from my driveway… and the next minute I was floundering on my back in the snow, my arms and legs involuntarily waving”

Attached is a  rare picture of an ‘episode’ in progress… due to the disturbing nature of this picture viewer discretion is advised.