the best ice cream ever

In one of our staff discussions today, we started talking about ice cream, specifically how adding Oreos to vanilla ice cream makes it so much better.  Our resident randomness expert, Turtle Dundee, suggested making an ice cream called “Awesome ‘n Cream”.  Start with vanilla ice cream and lots of crumbled Oreos, then add chunks of chocolate, cookie dough, graham crackers crumbs, more types of chocolate, etc.  He said it would be “ice cream that ate like a stew”.  I don’t particularly care for that analogy, but his point was that there would be many chunks of toppings — more than you could shake a stick at.  In fact, there would be more toppings than ice cream.

Perhaps Ben & Jerry’s could implement this, since they aren’t afraid to try new things.  Just remember that you heard it here first.  (And we better get some credit for it.)  It should be sold in reinforced buckets, with the slogan of, “This has so many toppings that the standard container couldn’t handle it.”

Another possible slogan could be, “This is the most awesome ice cream ever!”  Yeah, that sounds catchy.  The TV commercials could have the official spokesman say stuff like, “Our competitors are mad because we thought of this first.”

Are some people too stupid to be healthy?

In the news, there is a group called National Action Against Obesity that thinks the Girl Scouts shouldn’t sell their cookies because they make Americans overweight.  And Prince Charles thinks McDonalds should be banned.  And some people think Oreos shouldn’t be sold because they make kids fat.  (BTW, Oreos also make adults fat, according to my research.)

Anyone with a clue can see that the problem isn’t the food but with the people who eat the food.  Most of us eat too much junk food and fast food, plus we don’t exercise enough.  But that’s our choice, right?  Last I checked, this is supposed to be a free country.  But apparently some groups think the government should regulate what we are allowed to eat.  This raises an interesting question — are some people too stupid to be healthy?

If the answer is no, meaning that obese people are fat because they choose to eat too much and not exercise enough, then the government should stay out of our business.  But if it’s true that some people are too stupid to be healthy, then perhaps some regulation is necessary.

I’d like to hear what you think on this issue…

quotes from cartoons, pt. 4

Somehow it’s been close to two months since our last installment of quotes from cartoons.  How did that happen?!?  I have been WAY too busy with work and stuff.  Well, there’s no time like the present, they say (but a couple of minutes ago probably bore a “striking” similarity).  Here’s some more quotes from various cartoons, which should bring back some good memories.  (If not, then you need to start watching cartoons and making those memories!)  Remember that saying them out loud in character and context (if you know it) makes it even more fun, especially if you’re in a public place and there’s people around.  Now let’s get to the quotes.  It’s in the same format as last time : I ramble on for a paragraph, then list a bunch of funny quotes.  🙂  Here goes…

Hey buddy!  Hey buddy!  Heeeeeeey BUDDY!  What do ya know? ~ Brak

I have a giant brain that is able to reduce any complex machine into a simple yes or no answer. ~ Space Ghost

Maybe next time you keep your stinkiness to yourself. ~ Ren, on Ren & Stimpy

Cosgrove: Hey Freakazoid, wanna go see a bear ride a motorcycle?
Freakazoid: DO I?!?

I don’t need no instruction manual to know how to ROCK! ~ Carl, Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Woah, you consarn, ijit varmint! ~ Yosemite Sam

I’m overlookin’ a three leaf clover that I overlooked be-three. ~ Bugs Bunny, singing

I am Mojo Jojo.  People shall call me Mojo Jojo.  And it is I, Mojo Jojo, whom they shall be addressing when using the name, Mojo Jojo. ~ Mojo Jojo

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, “Where have I gone wrong?”  Then a voice says to me, “This is going to take more than one night.” ~ Charlie Brown, Peanuts

Mom wouldn’t care about these things if she wouldn’t keep finding out about them. ~ Calvin & Hobbes

Calvin: I’m a genius, but I’m a misunderstood genius.
Hobbes: What’s misunderstood about you?
Calvin: Nobody thinks I’m a genius.

Are you losing your hearing or are you just stupid? ~ Homer Simpson

In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics. ~ Homer Simpson

What’s done is done.  I’ve made my bed and now… I have to weasel out of it. ~ Bart Simpson

It’s not how you play; it’s how you win. ~ Dr. Freeze, Superfriends

I am your infant overlord.  Surrender now or I’ll poop on your lap. ~ Stewie Griffin, from Family Guy

Me Grimlock here to save universe. ~ Grimlock, The Transformers

Optimus Prime: Megatron must be stopped… no matter the cost! ~ Transformers, The Movie

The Lost Diamond of Disappearance, Skeletor must have found it. ~ He-man

Greetings Chum! I am the Tick, nigh-invulnerable superhero charged with defending “The City” against evil.  Along with my sidekick, Arthur, and my pet dog… err… rodent Speak, I stop the most diabolical criminal masterminds from carrying out their fiendish plots. ~ The Tick

Rugged, self-assured, adult… these are the words that describe the man who wears a mustache. ~ The Tick

So… humans have easily injured knees.  My race will find this information very useful indeed.  Muwahahahaha! ~ Morbo, from Futurama

“Well,” said Pooh, “what I like best–“, and then he had to stop and think.  Because although eating honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called.

So now welcome our keynote speaker, Professor Melvin Fenwick — the man who, back in 1952, first coined the now-famous phrase: “Fools!  I’ll destroy them all!” ~ The Mad Scientists Convention, “The Far Side”

Blackmail is such an ugly word.  I prefer “extortion”.  The “X” makes it sound cool. ~ Bender, from Futurama

Leela, enough. Our love has constantly been tested by your hatred, and now this. ~ Captain Zapp Brannigan, from Futurama

Leela: I’m sorry you had to see that, Fry.  Usually I keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.
Fry: Yeah.  That’s what I do with my stupidness.
~ from Futurama

Here’s a link to list the other posts in the series.  Lots of good stuff…  🙂

Breaking news on NAPS!!!

I just came across a recent ‘six-year’ study of the effects of napping. why wasn’t I included in this ‘test’ group? napping is what I do best! napBut it wasn’t the fact that a 6-year-sleep-study was done that I found intriguing. According to the study it seems that “a little midday snooze seems to reduce risks for fatal heart problems, especially among men.”

What? Stop the presses!!! Hold the phone! Does this mean Doctors are now advocating I take a daily nap at work?  The study found that “Those who napped at least three times weekly for about half an hour had a 37 percent lower risk of dying from heart attacks or other heart problems than those who did not nap.” So YES… it looks as if I need to add nap-time to my daily agenda… Okay… let me rephrase… it looks as if I need to add a nap-time to my daily agenda that does not require sneaking off to some unused meeting room and locking the door.

Having corporate approval for a nap at my desk would definitely be much less embarrassing that trying to snag the milking rooms… err…lactation rooms that my employer so kindly offers to women with young children. They have it made… a door that locks! a couch to nap on! a fridge to hold snacks! okay… ‘maybe’ the fridge isn’t for snacks, but it doesn’t make me any less jealous… Anyway, back to the topic at hand…

Take a nap!!! do it for your heart! 🙂 There is even one company that sells sleeping pods to businesses.  I want one for my cube! In the study one doc was quoted as saying “Having a siesta reduces your probability of dying by about one third”, “If you have a sofa in your office, go right ahead and take a snooze.”  That’s good enough for me! 

According to a Cornell University study, “sleep-deprived workers cost U.S. industry $150 billion a year in reduced job productivity and fatigue-related accidents”  so it’s GOOD FOR BUSINESS!  The study also included women and says “It is likely that women reap similar benefits from napping, but not enough of them died during the study to be sure”. ironic… sounds a bit like they were sad that more didn’t die? hmm… moving on…

The study also states “some offices allow on-the-job naps, and many workers say it makes them more, not less, productive.” Yep… proof positive! if you want to get more work done… take more naps!

Lastly I want to focus on my new hero… it’s a it’s a guy by the name of Mark Ekenbarger. I think I want his job! “Yarde Metals, a metals distributing firm, built a nap room at its Southington, Connecticut, headquarters as part of an employee wellness program. With two leather sofas, fluffy pillows, soft lighting and an alarm clock, it is the perfect place for a quick snooze, engineer Mark Ekenbarger said. “He then went on to say that he “frequently takes half-hour naps on the advice of his doctor to reduce stress.” and “It really does energize me for the rest of the day”.

I bet it does! If I could take ‘frequent’ half-hour naps at my job everyday i’d feel pretty energized too. Lets Give it up for Mark… MY HERO!!! I say we start a petition to institute a national ‘Mark Ekenbarger Holiday’. It’s a day where you still go to work, but all you do is sleep. 

Harvard-trained research scientist Sara Mednick, author of the book “Take a Nap! Change your life.” told CTV News recently that sleep deprivation can lead to a whole host of health problems such as increased risk of heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, depression, decreased libido and obesity. Obesity!?!

So not only is not taking naps making me less productive, and at a higher risk for heart attack… but it’s making me fat too!!! Maybe I need to link this to the bacon grease diet?  So there you have it… take more naps! Doctors Advice!