Category: Random

why beans give you gas

You never know when you might be on the brink of a new scientific discovery.  I mean, science happens all the time, even if you’re not looking for it.  So you have to keep your mind open to new hypotheses and theories.

The other night I was reheating some Taco Soup.  It features beef, corn, hominy, pinto beans, kidney beans, and various seasonings like taco seasoning, Ranch seasoning, and Rotel.  (And it’s really scrumptious — much better than any normal soup.  You add cheese, tortilla chips, and sour cream to it.  Mmm…)  Anyway, it has two types of beans in it, as I listed.  I was reheating a bowl of it that was leftover, and I covered the bowl with wax paper.  It was a good thing I covered it, because some of the beans exploded!

So where does science come into this?  Well, I’m not a scientist, but I have stayed at a Holiday Inn Express.  So here’s what happened.  Beans don’t normally explode at room temperature, but when they became hot and pressurized, they exploded.  And then I realized that must be what happens when we eat them!  Our bodies run at a temperature around 98.6 degrees, which is quite warm.  And as our digestive system is breaking down the food, there’s a lot of pressure inside.  So while your body processes the beans, they overheat and over-pressurize, which causes them to explode inside you.  And that explosion has to find an outlet, or there will be much discomfort in your stomach.  As you guessed, the outlet is your butt.

I never learned that in school, but it makes sense.  Perhaps the teachers were trying to be politically correct and not talk about gas and farting.  Some people get offended about such things, for some reason.  But I have no reason to hold back here, so I present my unvarnished scientific hypothesis.

Now you know…

Maybe next time I’ll figure out why beans are good for your heart…  🙂

chocolate-covered bacon on a stick

Last night I had the Buffet o’ Blog staff over to my house, along with a classified secret guest.  Food was not specifically on the agenda, but foodstuffs were brought nonetheless.   There were chocolate chip cookies, which are always good, but the unique item we had (for which I’m writing this) was chocolate-covered bacon.  And it wasn’t just any bacon — it was Petit Jean peppered bacon.

The flavor was unique: the salty goodness of bacon, the spicy peppered seasoning of this variety, and the sweetness of chocolate.  And to make it even cooler, it was on a stick.

I didn’t get a picture this time, because it was quickly devoured.   But you can imagine.  At least this time, no one brought a “gut bomb“.  🙂

The collective conclusion was that it was awesome.  Although it probably would’ve been even better if it wasn’t peppered bacon, because adding spicy to the salty plus sugary mix was almost too much.  But I’d eat it again, either way.  🙂

weird McDonald’s commercials

You’ve probably seen the commercials with the Burger King King, right?  Well, for those of you who think he’s creepy (and he is), take a look at the first ever McDonald’s commercial, featuring Ronald McDonald.  He’s quite creepy here, in his original form.

Man, that was terrible!  He’s wearing his food, and his dancing is not cool / hip / trendy, even for back then.  Anyway, let’s move on.  I’ve found some other old McDonald’s commercials that you probably don’t remember.  (I know I don’t remember them all, because some were aired before I was born.)  BTW, this post may look long because of the video links, but the commercials aren’t very long, so hang in there.  This may be more amusing than you expect.

Here’s a McDonald’s commercial from 1971, featuring McDonaldland, which got shut down because of a lawsuit.  Poor Mayor McCheese, never to be seen again!

Did you notice Ronald’s afro?  It was the ’70s, I guess.  Was he wearing bell bottoms?  I’m not gonna watch it again to see, because that music gives me gas.

In this next video, Hamburglar has the Magic Touch to turn everything into cheeseburgers.  It’s definitely stupid, and you might want to watch it for nostalgia’s sake, but then you’ll realize it was really lame, and you’ll wonder why you ever thought the Hamburglar was cool, except that he had a cool name.

Plus, in that video, notice the Hamburlgar brought out a big plate of burgers, and they weren’t even wrapped.  Do you know why they weren’t wrapped?  Because he stole them!  That’s what he does!  He turned to a life of crime, to steal hamburgers from McDonalds.  But do Ronald and Grimace care?  Apparently not.  After all, he is sharing his stolen hamburgers with them.  Which would make Ronald McDonald a criminal, because he becomes an accomplice.  So he shouldn’t be selling products to kids!  Crazy stuff…

In this next video, we learn that Grimace is an evil criminal also.   His name is E. Grimace, and apparently the E is for Evil.  He stole all the cups from McDonalds, meaning kids can’t have cokes or triple-thick shakes.   So what does Ronald do?  He tricks (deceives / lies to) Grimace to distract him so they can steal the cups back and take them back to McDonalds for use.  Something just doesn’t seem right about that.  And speaking of what ain’t right, what kind of creature is Grimace?  He’s a blob with several arms / legs / appendages.  He’s kinda creepy in this video, and looks obnoxiously dumb.

This next commercial is a departure from the McDonaldland theme, where workers sing about how clean the “burger machine” is and how much fun it is to clean and scrub the floor.  Sorry, but this just isn’t realistic…  Of course, I did no research on such things back in 1970 (because I wasn’t born), but I doubt fast-food restaurants were ever that clean nor that workers actually enjoyed cleaning them.

Do you remember the McNuggets from 1985, and how they could talk and sing and bounce around and even play the drums?   If you do remember without watching the video, you should overwrite that wasted memory with something productive.  Anyway, this is lame.  And watch out for bad puns!

You might have noticed a pirate near the end.  That was Captain Crook (whose parents really pigeonholed him into a career with that name!).  He tried to steal Filet-O-Fish sandwiches while avoiding capture by Big Mac, the chief of police in McDonaldland.  I reckon the producers figured you could have different characters stealing different types of food.

Well, that concludes our journey into the history of McDonald’s commercials.  Did anybody learn anything?

Thank you, drive thru…

the ultimate birthday cake

A lot of people are making birthday cakes with video game themes these days, but this one I’m about to show you really takes the cake.  (That was a really bad pun, wasn’t it?  Nonetheless, I refuse to apologize because some of you deserve it.   You know who you are.)   The design of this cake comes from the Nintendo Wii game Super Mario Galaxy (which is one of the best games ever, in case you didn’t know).  Not only is it cake, but it’s also animated.  There’s cake and Rice Krispy treats, but also electrical wiring, motors, MP3 players, a wooden frame, fiber optic lights, and so forth.  (Obviously it’s not all edible, at least for normal people.)

For starters, here’s a picture of it:

super-mario-galaxy-cake

But that picture is not a good representation of it.  At the creators’ homepage, you can see a lot more pictures of it, up close and from different angles.  (Just scroll past the text, unless you’re interested in that.)  But they also have a video of the cake in motion, as well as a few behind-the-scenes shots.  For your convenience, here’s the video:

I read the FAQ by the cake’s creators, and they’re not professional cake-makers.   In fact, they make just 2 cakes a year, or 3 if they volunteer one for a friend.  In the FAQ, someone asked them why they don’t start a cake business, because someone would pay a lot of money for that.  The creators said they don’t want to make it a business, though if someone offered them “a lot of money” they would build them a cake.  However, no one has ever offered them money for it.

The same people have made numerous cakes, with themes like Elmo, Halo, Wheel of Fortune, and so on.  That’s a lot of work for a birthday cake that gets destroyed rather quickly.   But, then again, there are sites that are talking about it (such as this one), so they are getting some publicity.  Maybe they feel famous.

I think it’s pretty safe to say I never got a birthday cake like that… but that’s okay, because I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and people like me.   I don’t need any fancy cake to tell me I’m special.