President Bush doesn’t care about white people

I’m sure you remember when Hurricane Katrina flooded New Orleans and thousands of homes were destroyed, and activists like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton were all over the TV news saying it’s President Bush’s fault, that he didn’t do enough about the insufficient levees and that he didn’t visit there quick enough and he didn’t get all the people out of the flooded areas.  Bush took a lot of blame for that situation, and some of the activists were saying he didn’t care about black people.

flood in the Midwest
flood in the Midwest

Well, now the Midwest has flooded, including almost all of Iowa.  Thousands of homes and businesses have been destroyed because of torrential rains plus broken levees, and it continues to get worse.  Also, thousands of acres of food crops were destroyed.  Was George W. Bush there the next day to visit?  No.  (He was in Europe, but maybe he should’ve got over here right away.)  Did he fix the levees before the storms to protect all those white people and their crops?  Nope.  Has he sent money to the people who didn’t buy insurance to protect their property?  No.  So what’s the deal?  Obviously, President Bush doesn’t care about white people.  It’s so clear now.  He is prejudiced against Caucasian-Americans and European-Americans.

But where is the outrage?  Millions of people have been affected by this flood in the U.S. Midwest, and where are the white activists?  Who will stand up for these people?  Doesn’t anyone care?  Who will hold Bush and the government accountable?

So by now you might have guessed that this is satire.  Although, the facts are based on actual news, and there is a parallel between Hurricane Katrina and the flooding in the Midwest.  But there was advance warning and predictions about what happened in New Orleans, Louisiana.  So why is one a greater outrage than the other among the political and racial activists?

You can draw your own conclusions…

the special days of May, pt 2

Now we will continue our look at the special days of May.  This part will focus on holidays or observances on individual days.

  • 1 May Day — This is supposed to be a celebration of spring and the coming of summer.  In Hawaii, it’s known as “Lei Day”.  In many countries, it’s a one to three day holiday.  If it means getting off work, we should celebrate it here in the U.S.
  • 1 Space Day — I suppose you can just stare off into space this day.  It would be great if we could all get a free trip to space, so we can really appreciate it.  But that’s probably not in the space exploration budget…
  • 3 Lumpy Rug Day — Uhh… what exactly are you supposed to celebrate here?  I’d figure you don’t want your rug to be lumpy… but to each his own.
  • 4 Bird Day — This holiday has gone to the birds…
  • 4 National Candied Orange Peel Day — What?  I didn’t know people even did this?  Why?
  • 4 National Weather Observers’ Day — I sometimes observe the weather, so I reckon this is a day for me!  Maybe there will be a thunderstorm with lots of lightning on this day!
  • 5 Cinco de Mayo — I hear a lot of people talk about this holiday every year, but it’s supposed to be a day to be proud of your Hispanic descent.  So it doesn’t apply to me (or most of the people I hear talking about it).
  • 5 National Hoagie Day — This is a holiday I can support.  This day you should eat a large hoagie / sub / hero sandwich, piling on the toppings of your choice.  Remember, since it’s a holiday, diets don’t apply, so add all the toppings you want (including bacon).
  • 6 Beverage Day — My favorite beverage is sweet tea, specifically BOH tea from Malaysia (which is difficult to acquire in these parts).  But I drink this regularly, so for it to be a special day, restaurants ought to make beverages be free.  It sounds reasonable to me.  🙂
  • 6 No Diet Day — This is what I’m talking about!  This should be a holiday every month!  Like it says, no diets apply, so eat whatever you want this day.
  • 7 National Tourism Day — If we’re supposed to support tourism on this day, that means we need to be off work!  You can’t be a tourist in your home area, so you need time off work to travel around.
  • 8 No Socks Day — The person who created this day professes that not wearing socks will reduce your laundry load, therefore it’s good for the environment.  If that’s true, we might as well take it a step further.  Just stay home this day, wearing only your underwear, and playing video games.  🙂
  • 9 Lost Sock Memorial Day — A memorial for lost socks?  There’s no need to get mushy or sentimental over that!  Just buy some new socks.  Although, if you happen to have a problem of mad goats eating socks out of your dryer, then that could get expensive, but you might want to do something about that…
  • 10 Clean up Your Room Day — Let’s not and pretend we did…
  • 11 Mother’s Day — I’m very thankful that my mom had me.  You should be, too.  Because if I hadn’t been born, the world would really be missing out…  🙂
  • pizza11 Eat What You Want Day — Obviously diets don’t apply on this day, either, because what I want doesn’t fit into normal diets.  Hmm, what should I eat this day?  Pizza is always a good choice, and cheeseburgers, and nachos, and Mexican all-you-can-eat places would be a great place to go, and seafood buffets, and fudge brownies and ice cream with chocolate syrup drizzled over it, and I could go on.  This really needs to be more than one day!!!
  • 11 Twilight Zone Day — Dun dun DUN!
  • 12 Fatigue Syndrome Day — One of the suggested activities today is to sleep in.
  • 12 Limerick Day — If you want to flex your poetic non-muscles, this is the day.  Perhaps someone would like to write one in the comments section.  (Any time is fine.)
  • 13 Leprechaun Day — Has anyone ever seen one of these Irish midgets?  (Or is it a faerie?)  If you catch one, ask him where his treasure is hidden, because he’s supposed to tell you.  I could use some extra treasure, so let me know if you know where one is.
  • 14 Dance Like a Chicken Day — Do chickens dance?  I dunno.  According to one website, this is a “tradition at every wedding reception”.  I’m glad we didn’t know about it at my wedding!  There were way too many people with cameras there for me to act the fool.  But I don’t believe that anyway — I think they’re just making that up, trying to make people act stupid for others’ enjoyment.
  • chocolate chip cookies15 National Chocolate Chip Day — This is a most excellent use of a holiday (much better than the last one!).  This day, you should eat as many chocolate chip cookies as you want.  And have plenty of milk handy, too.  I don’t know why, but milk goes really well with chocolate chip cookies.

This list is getting considerably long, so I’m going to continue it in the next post.  (Click here to search for the other ones.)

the weather ninja

tornadoToday we had quite a bit of severe weather in Arkansas, including several destructive tornadoes.  There was a lot of news coverage, just about all day.  They even showed some live footage of tornadoes by professional storm chasers / spotters.

But one thing I learned recently is that we have a storm chaser here in Arkansas who calls himself the Weather Ninja.  I’m not sure what ninja skills have to do with thunderstorms, but it’s a cool name nonetheless.  He probably isn’t even a real ninja.  Although, he could be one of the Japanese anime types, who knows ancient karate skills plus has super powers.  But I suspect he’s just a regular guy who thought up a great name.

the special days of April, pt 1

As we’ve done in previous months, we’re going to look at the special days and holidays of this month.  As usual, this is not a complete list — those can be found elsewhere.  But I guarantee you will not find another list like this one.  This is not a mere list, because we add our own unique commentary and analysis.  In other words, we try to make it more fun.  And you are welcome to add to the discussion in the comments section.

Let’s get started with the month-long celebrations and observances:

  • National Humor Month — Then this is a great time to be reading this blog, because we’re all about humor!
  • National Pecan Month — To me, this says “eat pecan pie”.  Mmm…
  • International Guitar Month — Rock on, dude!
  • National Garden Month — This is when Mango-Man starts his infamous all-natural “survival of the fittest” garden.  That is, he doesn’t use chemicals and pesticides, and he doesn’t even bother watering it much.  It truly is survival of the fittest.  🙂
  • National Mathematics Education Month — I hope you already know the basics that are needed to get through life.  As far as the advanced stuff, I took Calculus I & II in college, learning all about derivatives, integrals, differential equations, abstract algebra, matrices, etc., and I use absolutely none of it in real life.  A few people might need to know it, but I didn’t need it for the computer programming I’ve done.  But I digress…
  • National Grilled Cheese Month — We’ve already discussed this before.  You can also add ham or bacon to your grilled cheese, and Miracle Whip goes well with it, too.  Mmm…

The only week-long observance I want to bring up this month is:

  • Week 1 Read a Road Map Week — Being a man, I don’t need road maps or directions.  However, in the spirit of this holiday, we should do what is implied here: take a road trip!  Does anyone want to take off for Colorado?  🙂

Now we’ll look at the individual day holidays:

  • 1 April Fool’s Day — You already know about this.  You play pranks and jokes on people.
  • 2 Children’s Book Day — I usually don’t read children’s books, because too many of them are dumbed-down (unnecessarily so in some cases).  But if you consider The Chronicles of Narnia to be a children’s series, that one is definitely worth reading.
  • peanut butter jelly sandwich2 National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day — I like the food holidays.  🙂
  • 3 Don’t Go to Work Unless it’s Fun Day — I figure most people would choose to stay home.  Although even with my current job, where I get to do work I enjoy, I still could use another day off.  After all, we have to work more days than we have off, and we should strive to be balanced in life.
  • 4 National Walk to Work Day — So you get a day off, then they want you to walk to work. Ideally, though, this is a good idea, and a good time of year for it. But sometimes it’s just not practical.
  • 4 Walk Around Things Day — This is vague.  But I suppose if you’re walking to work, you’ll have to walk around buildings and parked cars and such.
  • 4 Tell a Lie Day — You shouldn’t do this.  Why is this even a holiday?  It’s immoral!  Even if it’s a “holiday”, we’ll still have to give an account to God for all that we say…
  • 7 Caramel Popcorn Day — I prefer cheese popcorn, but still, it’s a food holiday.
  • 7 No Housework Day — This is a great idea!  I’ll have to tell my wife about this one!  🙂  Instead of housework, we could do something more fun, like play games or watch movies or play sports outside.  Almost anything is better than housework!
  • 8 Draw a Picture of a Bird Day — Uhh… I’ll pass on this one.  But, if it’s your thing, go ahead…
  • 9 Name Yourself Day — On this day, you can change your name for the day.  So if you don’t like your name, or if you’d rather be known by a nickname, this is the time.  I’m thinking about going with “Master of the Universe”.  So all my co-workers (including my bosses) will have to refer to me as such, or I will ignore them.
  • 11 Eight Track Tape Day — I barely remember these (because I’m not that old).  I never owned any, but one of my friend’s parents did.  They were interesting, and some argue they were better than cassettes, which replaced them.  But now they’re relics, replaced with CDs and MP3s.
  • 11 Barbershop Quartet Day — Is it a coincidence this is the same day as 8-Track Tape Day?  Just kidding!  This would be a good day to check out the musical style of barbershop quartets.  Try something different for a change.  You can probably find some online to listen to.
  • 12 Big Wind Day — This day blows me away!  (Sorry…)  This is a holiday because on this day in 1934, the staff of the Mount Washington Observatory recorded the highest surface wind ever measured, anywhere on earth.  This big wind was officially recorded at 231 miles per hour.  To celebrate that, take notice of the wind outside, watching its effects and listening to it.  If there isn’t any natural wind, feel free to create your own big wind.  (AWW-RIGHT!)
  • 13 Blame Someone Else Day — I think politicians already do this every day, along with much of the mainstream media.  It seems like everything is President Bush’s fault, somehow.  I don’t care for this holiday, because people already do this too much.  We need to take personal responsibility for our lives.  If you’re going to enjoy life, it’s up to you to make it happen.
  • 14 International Moment of Laughter Day — On this day, you should take (a lot of) breaks to have a moment of laughter.  After all, laughing is like jogging on the inside — it’s good for you.  So for your health, make time for laughing.  And, of course, this blog is a good source of laughter.  🙂
  • clouds over island14 Look up at the Sky Day — Go figure out why the sky is blue…  Seriously, take a moment to enjoy the clouds.  It’s even better if there’s a storm coming through, with dark clouds and lightning.  I enjoy storm chasing, but it can get dangerous…

This is getting really long, so I’m going to break it up into two posts.  To be continued…  (Click here for the next part.)