I need a portable incinerator

During a recent discussion on this blog, I suggested that pickles be shot into the sun or at least tossed into a local incinerator.  That got me to wondering if there are any local incinerators open to the public.  Probably not.

So I challenge our Research & Development team to invent a pocket incinerator.  Imagine how handy that would be!  If you have trash while you’re out and about, you just fire up your pocket incinerator and toss the refuse in, and instantly your garbage is vaporized into nothingness.  Then there would be no excuse for littering — and it would be fun to watch things be vaporized.  (I suspect it would be so awesome that people would start grabbing whatever nonessential items are around them, which if at work would include pens, paperclips, staplers, TPS reports, and whatever stuff you think your co-workers really don’t need that much.)

Alternatively, the trash could be teleported to an parallel dimension, but I suspect you’d need a mighty powerful battery to handle that, probably something powered with nuclear power, which you might not want to carry around in your pocket…

a new way to chart weight gain & loss

We recently had another Buffet o’ Blog staff meeting at Larry’s Pizza (which seems to be one of our primary meeting places, for good reason).  One member of the R&D (Research & Development) department came up with a new niche product.  Not everyone will want this new invention, but we could see a few places buying one.

The idea is a toilet that has a scale built into the seat.  It’s not for taking your overall weight, but for telling you how many pounds you lost.  There would be a digital screen that would display this info.  It would also have a top 10 list of high scores.  This would be great for fraternity houses and certain all-you-can-eat restaurants.  (FYI, this idea came after we were all through eating, though I’m not sure if we could even be grossed out in that situation — we were quite focused on consuming large quantities of pizza.)

Another related idea would be to have scales in the chairs at all-you-can-eat restaurants, so it tracks just how many pounds of food you just ate.  I think that would prove popular, too, at certain locales.