Tag: personal

tempted with jealousy

Somebody did me wrong today.  They didn’t mean to, so I won’t hold it against them, but it just wasn’t right.  My story begins like many others: I was minding my own business, mowing my yard.  I was trying to get my lawn mowed before the rain came.  My wife was inside cooking supper.  Since we’re trying to lose weight, we’ve been eating healthy meals more than we used to.  She was baking some Cajun-seasoned fish and frying some fresh vegetables (squash, okra, and tomatoes) with Creole seasoning and olive oil.  It’s not a bad meal, even for a meat-and-taters guy like myself.  But while I was mowing, one of my neighbors decided to grill burgers, and the wonderful aroma wafted into my yard.

It really doesn’t matter that I was about to eat fish and vegetables — just about any meal is trumped by home-grilled burgers.  So I found that to be quite rude of them.  I’m outside dripping with sweat from mowing in the crazy heat-and-humidity mixture here in Arkansas, and they’re making me jealous with their grilling.

So if you find yourself in the situation of the person grilling while your neighbor is mowing his yard, it would be incredibly awesome if you were to offer him a burger or hot dog off the grill.  That would make their day, and it would certainly make the rest of the mowing not so laborious.  I’m just sayin’…  🙂

a unique way to remove wasps

I was just outside in the yard, weed-eating around the house.  (“weed-eating”???  I know people say that, but it sounds weird.)  Anyway, I went in the garage to put the weed-eater up, and I found a couple of flying stinging bugs.  They were small like a bee, but they might’ve been small (midget?) yellow jackets.  Either way, it had a stinger, and that means it was illegally trespassing on my property.  All such insects are exterminated upon detection, in accordance with my policy.

This evil insect was between me and the door, so I couldn’t get to the wasp spray, therefore I took a different, unorthodox approach.  I have no problem with using some creativity.  I waited for the opportune time, and I killed it with the weed-eater.  🙂  I cut off his tail / stinger, and the rest of him was not to be found.  The second insect met the same fate, although none of him was ever seen again.

That may sound harsh, but they were illegally on my property and refused to leave when I showed my discontent.  So they had to face the consequences.  The penalty for wasps (or similar creatures) in my yard is death.  It’s non-negotiable, too.  If they won’t accept the terms and thus live somewhere besides my premises, then they will be removed by force.

I don’t own a bed

I’ve been married a few years now, so I’ve learned a few things about relationships.  And I’ve learned that women sometimes see things differently than men do.

Just recently I learned that we do not have a bed in our bedroom.  This was quite the surprise for me, because I always thought we were sleeping in a bed.  I mean, it’s a bed frame with a couple of mattresses, along with pillows, sheets, and blankets.  To me, that’s a bed.  But apparently it’s not a bed.  I’m not sure what it is, then.  Can anyone explain this?

I did find out why it’s not a bed, though — it doesn’t have the decorative headboard and footboard on it.  Supposedly that makes it a bed.  Uhh, yeah…  So I’m still not sure what we have, but I’m going to call it a bed anyway…