new music that’s funny and random

I recently heard about a new music album that is both funny and random, so naturally it’s a good fit for this blog.  The album is called “Bringin’ da Phat”, by DJ Turbo-Lax and MC Refried Breeze.  That should tell you something about it right there.  (I tell ya, you can find anything on the Internet!)  As you might surmise by the artist names, the songs have random acts of flatulence in them.  So that automatically divides the audience.  If you get offended by such things, you’ve been forewarned.  But if you can laugh at farting, you might hurt yourself laughing at these songs.

I listen to a lot of music, but I must admit I’ve never heard anything like this before.  The beat changes often, jumping between genres at will.  You will be surprised.  The vocal phrases and utterings combined with the sound effects are hilarious.  So perhaps it’s “toilet humor”, but it’s clean, other than the resulting skid marks.  Some of the beats jam, too.

You can listen to it for free at Spotify, although you have to install the player if you haven’t already.  It’s also available for purchase at eMusic, Amazon, and iTunes.  Of course you can listen to samples of the tracks on those last 3 sites.

Regarding the album art, yeah, it might be a low-budget production, but the sound quality is good, and in addition to hearing a cornucopia of beats, it will make you laugh.  Not many songs can say that.

So if you can stomach this kind of humor, I recommend checking it out.

caption contest, sumo wrestler intro

Are you ready for this week’s caption contest?  I know some of you are, because I actually got e-mail letting me know there wasn’t one posted on-time.   (It’s nice to be missed!)  The reason for the delay is because of an electrical malfunction at the Buffet o’ Blog headquarters, preventing me access to my computer and the Internet for a few days.  Now that it’s resolved, things can return to normal (or a reasonable approximation thereof).

Since this week’s caption contest is late, here’s an extra special photo.  And by special, I mean “lots of humor potential”.  It’s a sumo wrestler, performing some sort of introductory dance.  Let the humor begin!

sumo wrestler intro

FYI, some sites may frown upon “potty humor”, where you reference passing gas and such.  Let it be known that your humor is welcome here.   🙂

(To see the other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)

why beans give you gas

You never know when you might be on the brink of a new scientific discovery.  I mean, science happens all the time, even if you’re not looking for it.  So you have to keep your mind open to new hypotheses and theories.

The other night I was reheating some Taco Soup.  It features beef, corn, hominy, pinto beans, kidney beans, and various seasonings like taco seasoning, Ranch seasoning, and Rotel.  (And it’s really scrumptious — much better than any normal soup.  You add cheese, tortilla chips, and sour cream to it.  Mmm…)  Anyway, it has two types of beans in it, as I listed.  I was reheating a bowl of it that was leftover, and I covered the bowl with wax paper.  It was a good thing I covered it, because some of the beans exploded!

So where does science come into this?  Well, I’m not a scientist, but I have stayed at a Holiday Inn Express.  So here’s what happened.  Beans don’t normally explode at room temperature, but when they became hot and pressurized, they exploded.  And then I realized that must be what happens when we eat them!  Our bodies run at a temperature around 98.6 degrees, which is quite warm.  And as our digestive system is breaking down the food, there’s a lot of pressure inside.  So while your body processes the beans, they overheat and over-pressurize, which causes them to explode inside you.  And that explosion has to find an outlet, or there will be much discomfort in your stomach.  As you guessed, the outlet is your butt.

I never learned that in school, but it makes sense.  Perhaps the teachers were trying to be politically correct and not talk about gas and farting.  Some people get offended about such things, for some reason.  But I have no reason to hold back here, so I present my unvarnished scientific hypothesis.

Now you know…

Maybe next time I’ll figure out why beans are good for your heart…  🙂

methane contributes to global warming

There are companies now selling “carbon credits”, making billions of dollars.  But carbon is not the only element contributing to global warming.  Researchers say methane is 23 times more potent than carbon dioxide in trapping heat in the atmosphere.  As we discussed in the last post, cows contribute significantly to global warming via the methane they produce with their flatulence.  But I’m willing to overlook that, because they play an important role in my diet.

However, there are some people who produce an undue amount of methane, way more than normal.  These people are not only polluting the immediate atmosphere, but they are contributing to global warming.  Of course, some of them might get offended if I told them they had to quit passing gas and belching so much, and you could argue that I would be infringing on their rights.  So I’ve found a good solution.  Effective immediately, I will be selling methane credits.  That’s right, for a small fee (paid to me), you can pass gas all you want, and I will plant trees to offset your personal pollution.  (I will also give you plenty of personal space!)