ignorance could produce a laxative effect

Recently I was battling a cold, and someone suggested I take Cold-Eeze, which is supposedly proven to reduce the duration of the common cold.  It’s hard to know how much it actually helps, because colds vary in duration naturally.  But I’m willing to try it.  Also, it has zinc in it, which reminds me of an episode of Phineas and Ferb.  🙂

While glancing over the fine print on the box, I noticed this line:

“Product may produce a laxative effect.”

That’s information that it pays to know!  Well, you might also pay if you don’t know!  If someone started taking them like candy, reasoning that if one helps then surely multiple doses helps more, bad things could happen.  Ignorance isn’t always bliss, as the saying goes.  Here, ignorance could equal diarrhea.

That’s all I have to say about that, but I can’t end the post with diarrhea, so let me close with an appropriate saying I learned from watching G.I. Joe cartoons as a kid: “Knowing is half the battle.”  In this case, it could be more than half…

explaining Japan’s nuclear situation to children

Someone sent me a video of a cartoon character named Nuclear Boy, who explains the nuclear disaster in Japan, but in a format for children.  This video (below) has captioning translated to English.  Apparently it was designed by someone in Japan, so I don’t think it’s meant to make light of the situation, just putting it in terms children can relate to, like passing gas / farting, poo, and diarrhea.  Yeah, this video compares radiation emissions to gas, and a complete meltdown like Chernobyl is diarrhea.

Just to be clear, this is not to make fun of what’s happening in Japan right now.  My heart goes out to them.  I can’t imagine what they’re going through.

This video is a lighter take on it, for children — well, also for teenagers and adults who are still fascinated by flatulence and poop.  Not everyone understands nuclear meltdown, but everyone understands diarrhea.

The name of the video translated into English is: A Nuclear Reactor Explained by Poop and Farts: Nuclear Reactor Boy’s Tummy Ache.

I’ve wondered if this is an actual translation, so I looked at the comments on the original video, and someone there translated it very similar, so it appears legit, as far as I know.

viewer mail, issue #15

It is time for another issue of viewer mail.  (I really should do these more often; they’re fun.)  As always, these are actual search terms that brought people to this website, followed by my own leading brand of analysis, commentary, and rambling.

* buffets make people fat — Buffets don’t make people fat — people make people fat.   Actually, you make yourself fat.  But that’s not meant in a derogatory way.  I mean, if you want to be fat, then you have that option.  But let’s not blame buffets, or the “politically correct” crowd will try to ban them.  Besides, even if all-you-can-eat buffets went away, there would still be fat people.  It’s just a matter of semantics or somethin’…

pickles are evil* pickles diarrhea — I haven’t heard of such things, but I also don’t research it in any way, because pickles are evil.  Some have posited that eating pickles will turn you into a zombie (which probably could lead to diarrhea as your body tries to reject that).  I don’t think that’s completely proven yet, but some important people are working on it.  We’ll keep you updated.  But in the meantime, avoid pickles at all costs, unless you’re throwing them into the sun to destroy them.  That would be okay.  (FYI, there’s a very funny discussion on pickles at that link.)

* shampoo fraud conspiracy — I have no idea about this one…  Does anyone have any clue what this could be referring to?

* potassium nitrate side effects — Potassium nitrate is an interesting compound.  It is used in fertilizer, amateur rocket propellant, smoke bombs, food preservation (in old days), cigarettes, tree stump remover, the heat treatment of metals as a short-term rust inhibitor, the manufacturing of ice cream, toothpaste, and it’s one of the three ingredients in black powder.  So if you were to eat it, who knows what the side effects could be?  There’s a lot to choose from among that list.  But given those options, I don’t recommend eating it.

* burn calories poop — Well, just about any activity burns calories, even tapping your finger on your desk, so I reckon pooping would, too.  I did a quick search, and someone estimated the process burns between 19 and 70 calories.  I don’t know how scientific and accurate that is, but that site claims to be the #1 source for #2.

* can the sun be dangerous — Certainly!  In case you weren’t paying attention in science class, here’s a brief recap.  The sun has constant fusion, where hydrogen atoms fuse together to form helium atoms and release energy.  Or in other words, it’s a constant explosion.  So you don’t play with it!  IT IS NOT A TOY!  You wouldn’t want to put the sun in your pocket, because it would burn your butt.  Fortunately we’re 93 million miles from the sun, and Earth’s atmosphere refracts the direct sunbeams so it’s not instantly lethal.   But using a magnifying glass you can refocus the beams of sunlight and see just how dangerous it is — it creates fire.  So obviously it’s quite dangerous — sunlight plus curved glass creates fire.

That’s all the time we have for today.  I hope you learned something, or at least laughed.  (Laughing burns calories, y’know.  I’m not sure about learning, but it’s still good for you.)

caption contest, toilet abused

It’s time for a new caption contest!  This week, we’re going to feature a gross picture.   Be forewarned that some people might find this disturbing or even inappropriate.  It’s a picture of a toilet, with an abundance of poop and toilet paper in it.   And when I say abundance, I mean overflowing.  If you can’t stomach the grossness, then don’t scroll down to see the picture.

Before we get to that, I want to feature a short editorial rant on today’s subject matter (which also conveniently places the picture further down, to help certain people).  I realize that some people get offended at the mere mention of poop / feces, so the sight of it may be too much to handle.  But let’s look at it this way: you most likely see poop every single day.   So don’t act like your farts don’t stink, pretending that you’re too socially advanced and high-minded for such things.   Everyone poops.  It’s part of nature.

Now let’s address the issue of why there would be a picture of a toilet with poop in it, since everyone sees it every day anyway.  I don’t necessarily enjoy looking at poop, and you probably don’t either.  Well, this is what you call a caricature — a picture that exaggerates or distorts something, either for emphasis or entertainment.  So basically, this photo is humorous (to some) because it goes way beyond what is normal.   I realize that some people still might get offended despite my reasoning, so if that’s you, either go to another page, or press “Page Down” twice quickly, to avoid it.   You have been forewarned.

Finally, let’s get to the picture.   I realize there’s no people in it, so your caption (or craption, which might be more appropriate this time) can be for whoever finds this or whoever has to clean it up or just as general commentary / narrative.  Or if you can make a joke out of it, go ahead.  Just don’t use cuss words — this is still a family-friendly site, despite the grossness of this picture.

toilet-abused

You can click on the pic for a larger version, if you dare.

(To see the other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)