Saw an article the other day that started with this sentence:
If there’s one thing we need more of in America, it’s eight-pound hamburgers.
That’s something you don’t hear too often. There might’ve been a touch of sarcasm if you read in-between the lines (even though it’s only one line). Besides, who could even eat an 8-pound hamburger? Probably not even Adam Richman of Man v. Food fame.
What we do need is restaurants offering more options on burgers — like to include copious amounts of bacon, fried egg, various cheeses, ham, different sauces (BBQ, chipotle, cheese dip), etc. Actually, perhaps bacon should come standard on all burgers. Why wouldn’t you want bacon on your burger? [pause to venture deep in thought] I got nothing.
This is just another reminder that Buffet o’ Blog needs some venture funding to start our own restaurant.
So yesterday was Valentine’s Day. I was wondering why people had balloons and flowers in their cars and why my wife was mad when we ate leftovers for dinner. It may seem like a big day now, but with the passage of time, it’s just one day among thousands. She’ll get over it.
Okay, so that’s an embellishment. No, scratch that — it’s an utter fabrication. I did remember the “holiday” and got my wife a mushy card and some roses and chocolate — got nice stuff, without spending a lot of money. Some people sure are trying to rip you off this time of year! But that’s a rant for another post. I started this post to talk about bacon. Yes, bacon and Valentine’s Day can go together. Actually, I think they should.
Supposedly red roses are all romantic, but they look good for only a few days, then they wither and die a horrible death. But what if the roses were edible and made of bacon? Would that not be the best “roses” ever???
To me, a guy, it seems like a great idea. But knowing women, it might be a turrible idea. I remember I once asked a girl (who I wasn’t dating) if she would prefer roses made of chocolate, and she was adamant that it would not be a good thing. Apparently, “someone” decided that you had to give red roses or you’re cheap and not romantic. Hence the huge price increase on roses in February. It sounds like a big conspiracy to me.
As you know, bacon makes almost everything better. And for most guys, salads need quite a bit of improving. ThinkGeek.com has just what you need (again): Bacon Flavored Croutons. Here’s an excerpt from the site:
Bacon Croutons – Salads just got cool
Bacon Croutons are about to change the salad game. Remember the revelation you had when you realized that salads could be a vehicle for ranch dressing? You’re about to have a similar life-changing experience. And don’t limit yourself to salad! Bacon Croutons are great on soup, crushed up on top of baked macaroni and cheese, as breading for fried chicken, and of course, used in your favorite Thanksgiving stuffing recipe. Bacon on, friends!
Now, you may be thinking this is truly awesome, and, taste-test pending, just might be, but before the hype gets too big, there was a statement at the bottom of the page that might make you say hmm…
Weirdly enough, these are vegetarian.
That is a source of skepticism, for me. Veggie bacon just sounds… unnatural. But if they actually taste anything close like bacon, it would have to help salads (when I have to eat one). So I’d still like to try them, just to know. When I do, expect a review on this blog.
If you view this full-size, it looks somewhat like an alien blob. It may not be ALIVE! but it's obviously not food.
Recently I had several home-cooked Thanksgiving meals, and for there were lots of great traditional foods — turkey, ham, dressing, mashed potatoes, etc. But there is one traditional food that I just don’t understand — potato salad (or as some say, tater salad). Actually, let me call it “food”, because I’m not convinced it’s edible.
Normally I’m all about potatoes, in just about any capacity, but why ruin it with pickles and mustard? I just don’t get it. We’ve discussed at length that pickles are evil and should not be eaten. I don’t like eating mustard, but at least I can accept that some people like it. Pickles just aren’t food. Even just the smell of them is repulsive.
Fortunately my in-laws realized my dislike of it and left some of the mashed potatoes uncorrupted for my consumption this year. So props to them for that.
But why ruin good potatoes in such a manner when there are so many better uses for them? Nonetheless, I understand how tradition and nostalgia is important, especially this time of year, so if potato salad is a tradition that many people feel should be continued, let’s revamp it.
So here and now, let’s invent a new-and-much-improved “potato salad” (if one must exist). First off, no pickles or mustard. Let’s just start with mashed potatoes (with butter and milk, of course), then add cheese and bacon. Or we could go with bacon and gravy. (Or all 3 if you feel adventurous.) This will be a hundred times better than regular potato salad! (Actually, I’m not sure I could even put a number on the comparison, since in its traditional form it is inedible to me.)
If we make this change, it might be culture shock to a few people, but once they try it, there’s no going back. People will forget about the previous version, and everyone will be happier for it! If it makes you sad that family members will no longer say things like, “Grandma Bottlestopper made the best tater salad”, realize that now people will say YOU make the best potato salad. YOUR recipe will be written into the legends of Thanksgiving cooking, to be discussed for generations to come. How will you feel about that?
If you have any additional suggestions or have done research on this topic, feel free to share. Together we could invent the world’s best potato salad recipe.
That’s something you don’t hear too often. There might’ve been a touch of sarcasm if you read in-between the lines (even though it’s only one line). Besides, who could even eat an 8-pound hamburger? Probably not even Adam Richman of Man v. Food fame.
Buffet o' Blog 