crazy spam

We get a lot of dumb/crazy spam here, and fortunately the spam filter catches most of it.  Occasionally it’ll catch a real comment, so I glance at it once in a while.  Recently I saw a few comments that weren’t full of links, so I checked to see if they might be valid comments, and I was surprised by what I found.  Here’s two of them.

What i don’t realize is actually how you are no longer really a lot more well-preferred than you may be right now. You’re so intelligent.

I’m not really sure what they’re saying in the first sentence.  And it’s really odd that their first sentence is so convoluted when their second sentence is so direct and to-the-point (and true).

Attractive portion of content. I merely stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to assert that I get in fact loved account your weblog posts. Anyway I will probably be subscribing to your augment and even I success you get admission to constantly rapidly.

I really have no idea what’s going on there.  That sounds like it was run through one of those translators that converts it to German, then to French, back to German, and back to English, which mangles it in an incomprehensible way.  🙂  There was one of those linked to in an earlier post, but unfortunate the link no longer works.  However, I still recommend reading the comments on the “that’s French for German” post — they are quite random and funny.  (Yeah, I’m promoting old blog content, but it was 6 years ago, and there wasn’t nearly the daily traffic then as there is now, so some of you probably missed it.  It’s also a good example of how comments can enliven a discussion.)

caption contest, space laser shooting house

For the next caption contest, I want to use a picture from a recent post.  (Hope that’s okay, because I’m doing it anyway!)  We recently talked about creating our own space laser inator, and one of the pictures showed a purple laser burning a house.  I have no actual context for this picture, but that matters not.  You get to make up the context.  (For those of you new here, you can write a story or joke to go with the picture.  The only rules are make it funny and keep it clean.)

(To see our other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)

a burger with too much bacon

Burger King has for years said you can “have it your way”, and in Japan, you can add 15 strips of bacon to a burger for an extra $1.25.  (I don’t know what it costs at Burger King in America, but many restaurants charge an extra $1 for 2 small strips of bacon.)  It may not be premium bacon, but, it’s bacon.

Adding 15 strips of bacon to one burger should be plenty for most people.  However, there is always someone who will say, “Needs more bacon.”  (Check out our Food Critic series for evidence of that.)  So one guy in Japan added 1,050 extra slices of bacon to his burger, which made it $90.  I don’t know how he arrived at that total — maybe he just checked how much money was in his wallet.  Either way, that’s a LOT of bacon.  It doesn’t even look like a burger anymore — more like the tower of bacon.

To no one’s surprise, he was unable to finish the burger himself.  On a related note, sharing bacon with co-workers is a great way to improve morale around the office and build friendships.

suing Michael Jordan for his looks

It might get old if you look like a celebrity or famous athlete.  Just sharing their name might be tiring.  It would probably be like that commercial of the middle-aged white guy named Michael Jordan — anytime he makes a reservation or his name goes before him, people are excited, then when he shows up, they look disappointed and say, “Oh.”  But if you look like someone famous, you might get stopped all the time in public for autographs, then people are disappointed when they realize you aren’t that person.

Allen Heckard knows how that feels.  People mistake him for Michael Jordan because of his looks, even though he’s 4 inches shorter.  He says this happens two or three times a day, and eventually he got to the point where he said, “Enough is enough.  I can’t take it anymore.”

So what would you do?  He says he’s changed his appearance some, but it didn’t work.  So he filed a lawsuit against Michael Jordan and Nike, claiming he is owed $832 million for 15 years of harassment by the public.  I wonder how he came up with that figure.  Needless to say, he didn’t win.

Heckard afterward said, “It’s not about the money.  A man has to have principles to stand on.”  That’s some principles if they’re worth $832 million!  If he’s just wanting to retire and stay home most of the time, he could’ve asked for a lot less money and still accomplished that.

Sometimes you have to wonder what people were thinking…