a unique way to remove wasps

I was just outside in the yard, weed-eating around the house.  (“weed-eating”???  I know people say that, but it sounds weird.)  Anyway, I went in the garage to put the weed-eater up, and I found a couple of flying stinging bugs.  They were small like a bee, but they might’ve been small (midget?) yellow jackets.  Either way, it had a stinger, and that means it was illegally trespassing on my property.  All such insects are exterminated upon detection, in accordance with my policy.

This evil insect was between me and the door, so I couldn’t get to the wasp spray, therefore I took a different, unorthodox approach.  I have no problem with using some creativity.  I waited for the opportune time, and I killed it with the weed-eater.  🙂  I cut off his tail / stinger, and the rest of him was not to be found.  The second insect met the same fate, although none of him was ever seen again.

That may sound harsh, but they were illegally on my property and refused to leave when I showed my discontent.  So they had to face the consequences.  The penalty for wasps (or similar creatures) in my yard is death.  It’s non-negotiable, too.  If they won’t accept the terms and thus live somewhere besides my premises, then they will be removed by force.

dreaming altering reality

Recently I had a dream where I needed to hit the snooze button a few times for something to take effect.  I don’t remember now what was happening in my dream, but it was something good, and pushing the snooze button was supposed to finalize it.  And (not) coincidentally, this was happening while my alarm clock was buzzing.

Obviously it was all a dream and had nothing to do with reality, but it’s obvious that my body was trying to tricks me.  Perhaps my body was reverting to sneaky tactics to persuade me to get more sleep.  Was my body saying that I’m sleep-deprived, that I need more rest?  Or does it mean my body just wanted to be lazy and sleep later into the morning?  I don’t know, but I don’t think it’s fair that my body is interfering with my dreams.  It’s especially not right that my alarm clock is appearing in my dreams!  My dreams are supposed to be happy places, where I’m the superhero who saves the world each night, and where alarm clocks don’t exist, and where I can eat as much pizza as I want to without gaining weight, and… well, you get the point.

Perhaps my subconscious was trying to remove me from the reality of alarm clocks, to take away the annoying effect of them.  No longer was the loud buzzing a sign to get up — it had become part of completing a good project.  This is all good in my dream world, but in real life it’s inconvenient, because I’m not getting up when I should be.  But what can I do?

I reckon I should take it as a sign that I should be sleeping later.  After all, don’t all those important doctors and physicians tell us we should listen to our body?  Yeah, I recall that.  So I’m going to start sleeping in when this happens.  I just need some way to convince my boss that this is what I should be doing… perhaps there should be some medical research in this area, to prove what I’m claiming.  I’m sure there’s proof, somewhere out there… I just have to find it.  🙂

offended at losing weight

These days, I don’t get surprised too much at the stupidity of some people nor at how easily they get offended.  I don’t know if people have always been this stupid, or if our society somehow breeds it in some type of “experiment-gone-wrong” type way.  But either way, some people sure do get offended easily.  Here’s a unique example, which really happened recently.

A 19-year-old overweight guy named Broderick Laswell was arrested last September for beating and stabbing a guy, then setting his house on fire.  When he went to jail, he weighed 413 pounds.  (That’s not just slightly overweight, either — it’s more like “the back of your neck looks like a pack of sausages” fat.)  Anyway, in jail, he’s fed “only” 2300 to 3000 calories per day.  And he’s tried to work out a few times, but he started feeling faint.  He claims that this faintness is due to hunger pains from diminished calorie intake, though it’s more likely because he’s morbidly obese.  I mean, when you’re over 400 pounds, walking across the parking lot is a workout.  (Not that I’d know personally, nor will I be researching this.)

Anyway, this guy is suing the jailers for “lack of nutrition” because he’s lost 105 pounds and is now down to a still-not-healthy 308 pounds.  He claims that this “lack of nutrition” causes his stomach to hurt and growl and be hungry again within an hour of eating.

So, to summarize this, a fat guy commits a crime, goes to jail, is forced to eat a normal amount of food, loses weight, and files a lawsuit over it.  Is he offended at being less fat?  Or does he think prisoners should be fed from a buffet every day?  What is he thinking?

evil fake meat

Some grocery stores are now selling a meatless meat product called seitan.  It’s made from wheat, and is supposed to be better than tofu in all ways.  Some call it “wheat meat” — that would be a much better name than seitan.  FYI, seitan is pronounced like satan.  That’s definitely not an association they want to make!  Surely they could’ve come up with a better name for it…