Category: In the News

waste management and golf

Those two topics don’t seem to really go together, do they?  But I recently heard someone on TV talking about a golf tournament called the Waste Management Phoenix Open.  You’d think they could find a better-named sponsor than that…  Of course, waste management is an important business — someone’s gotta do it — but the name doesn’t really imply a high-prestige golf tournament, in my opinion.  I know the tournament sells the naming rights to make money, but perhaps a line should be drawn somewhere…

And why is a waste management company spending big bucks on advertising?  They could just use a slogan like “We’ll take your crap!”  People would talk about that on their own, obviously.

Missing your ex? Call Death Bear

Sometimes romantic relationships fail.  It’s part of life.  (Actually, if it’s not the right person for you, it’s good that it fails, even if it doesn’t feel like it for a while.)

When we’re getting over a failed relationship, we may see reminders of them that make us sad.  Now there’s a service to help you with that.  Just call “Death Bear“, and he will come remove the articles of affection that keep reminding you that your ex is gone.  He’s 7 feet tall and solid black.  He will show up at your house or apartment for your convenience, and it’s completely free.  (At this time he only covers the Brooklyn area, though.)

Death Bear looks somewhat like Darth Vader… or perhaps his teddy bear.  (Follow the link for pictures.)

I think it’s an awesome idea…  It’s funny, it’s random, and it can actually help people.

Love stinks!

If you’ve been married for many years, you might start running out of ideas for something special to do for your wife on Valentine’s Day.  Well, some people are really good at thinking outside the box.  A farmer in Minnesota who has been married for 37 years made a heart out of manure for his wife.  But it’s not just any heart — it’s a half-mile wide!

According to the news release about it, nothing says “I love you” like a half-mile wide heart made out of manure.

On public record, his wife said it was cute.  We don’t know what was said behind closed doors when reporters weren’t around.

I’m not sure what my wife would say about a half-mile wide heart made out of manure, but “cute” probably would not be her expression of choice…  Actually, she came in while I was posting this, and her official response was “I don’t want one”.

What did we learn from Groundhog Day?

Well, Groundhog Day has come and gone, and what do we know?  According to Wikipedia, someone actually tracks this from various festivals, and 9 of the 21 groundhogs tracked predicted 6 more weeks of winter.   The most famous one, Punxsutawney Phil, predicted 6 more weeks of winter.  Also, to get scientific, the National Climatic Data Center reportedly has stated that groundhogs’ overall prediction accuracy is around 39 percent.  That doesn’t seem very good.   Although, I wonder how accurate most weathermen are…

But all this is a moot point anyway.  The official first day of Spring is almost 7 weeks after Groundhog Day.  And besides that, the whole thing seems backwards.   If he doesn’t seem his shadow, it means winter will soon end.   But here it was all cloudy and cold, looking and feeling very much like winter.  A sunny day would seem more like spring is on the way.  But what do I know?  I’m no groundhog (though I have been known to do some weather prognosticating from time to time).

Did you know Groundhog Day originally involved badgers or bears?  Today it seems widely accepted to use groundhogs, but that is changing in some parts:

In Alaska, February 2 is observed as Marmot Day rather than Groundhog Day because few groundhogs exist in the state. The holiday was created by a bill passed by the Alaska Legislature in 2009 and signed by then-Governor Sarah Palin that year.

Okay, the tradition is silly enough in premise.   I understand getting together to party and eat, but do people really take this seriously?  Apparently so, if the Alaska Legislature is going to waste the time creating and voting on a bill about it.  But I don’t know why…

On a more random note, in the video game Animal Crossing (the GameCube version), the mayor announces on February 2nd that it’s the day “the groundhog fairy comes around to give groundhogs to all the good little boys and girls”.   That’s random…