According to cutting-edge research, it is actually healthy to have a fat butt. That sounds like something crazier than I would ever even make up, but it’s the gist of an article I happened to find on a news website.
For all the people with fat around their stomach, that’s totally unhealthy, unfortunately. I’ll have to keep looking for some cutting-edge research that finds a way to explain how that’s somehow healthy…
(BTW, I’ve heard blogging professionals say you should include pictures with your posts, to increase interest. I try to do that sometimes. But I think this post is an exception. You should be thankful I realized that…)
Here’s a video that sounds like an April Fools prank, but it happened a couple of days ago, so it must be serious. Besides, we know politicians typically don’t have a sense of humor.
Henry Hank Johnson, a Congressman from Georgia, is featured in the video below, “debating” the idea of adding more soldiers to the U.S. military base in Guam. That may not sound humorous, but it gets random. Not only is he obviously filibusting (delaying an answer / vote), but he has some logic issues while rambling.
Hank is concerned that if they add 8,000 soldiers and their families to Guam, the island might “tip over and capsize”. I mean, Guam is a small island, so you have to consider these things. Or, um, NOT! Unless I totally missed something during geography classes, islands aren’t known for tipping over if you put too many people on them. In case you didn’t watch it, he said, “My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize.”
Perhaps Hank was just rambling in hopes that the discussion would run out of time or the moderator would just give up. Or perhaps he was trying to make a “facetious metaphor” (as a spokesman later claimed), but if so, he failed… epicly. Maybe he should work on saying intelligent things, instead of just making stuff up. It is kinda funny to hear, until you realize that this man gets a vote in legislation that governs our country.
Should we cut him some slack? Everybody says stupid things from time to time, right? Probably, but not things that stupid. And the average person isn’t in Congress, where the bar of intelligence should be considerably higher. Even if he was just rambling (and he was), how do you say something like that? I know rambling can get random — this I am familiar with — but when you’re sitting in front of government officials, you should be able to refrain from saying one of the stupidest things of the year…
And he doesn’t know when to stop! Surely he realized how ignorant his statement was about the island tipping over (along with visual simulations), but then he rambles on about the soldiers interfering with the coral reef, that we don’t like to think about it, that it might become like global warming. (Notice how he keeps adjusting his tie around the 2-minute mark.) And he talks so slow… does he think that will make him sound more intelligent and/or thoughtful?
I just keep thinking this is a prank video, that there’s no way an elected official to Congress is this obtuse.
Those two topics don’t seem to really go together, do they? But I recently heard someone on TV talking about a golf tournament called the Waste Management Phoenix Open. You’d think they could find a better-named sponsor than that… Of course, waste management is an important business — someone’s gotta do it — but the name doesn’t really imply a high-prestige golf tournament, in my opinion. I know the tournament sells the naming rights to make money, but perhaps a line should be drawn somewhere…
And why is a waste management company spending big bucks on advertising? They could just use a slogan like “We’ll take your crap!” People would talk about that on their own, obviously.
Sometimes romantic relationships fail. It’s part of life. (Actually, if it’s not the right person for you, it’s good that it fails, even if it doesn’t feel like it for a while.)
When we’re getting over a failed relationship, we may see reminders of them that make us sad. Now there’s a service to help you with that. Just call “Death Bear“, and he will come remove the articles of affection that keep reminding you that your ex is gone. He’s 7 feet tall and solid black. He will show up at your house or apartment for your convenience, and it’s completely free. (At this time he only covers the Brooklyn area, though.)
Death Bear looks somewhat like Darth Vader… or perhaps his teddy bear. (Follow the link for pictures.)
I think it’s an awesome idea… It’s funny, it’s random, and it can actually help people.
Buffet o' Blog 