Based on research* I’ve conducted this week, I’ve noticed the trend of people decorating for Halloween more than in years past.  Appropriately, I recently posted a great idea for decorating during this season.  However, I realize that idea was very non-traditional (in some ways), and some people aren’t comfortable with being such a trendsetter.  (But when they start selling like hotcakes next year, remember that you heard it here first!)  So today I am posting a new idea.  It’s still somewhat revolutionary, but not quite as extreme as the previous one.

It looks like a normal jack o’lantern, but it is equipped with the technology of shooting fire out its mouth and/or nose.  It can be triggered by either a motion sensor or a remote control.  Just imagine the trick you can play on children who come to your house for candy!  It would be fun for the entire family.  It also has a self-destruct button, for those of you who want to get a little crazy and set the whole thing on fire.  It’s guaranteed to burn continuously for at least 30 minutes, for lasting satisfaction.

We are now taking orders.  It’s priced affordably for those of you who can afford to buy crap to put in your yard for Halloween.  Be the first on your block to get one!

* Research conducted while driving to work.  (Fooled some of you, didn’t I?  HA!)