I’ve tried my best to not hear about the whole Royal Wedding celebrity real-life soap opera. I really do not care, and I figure many of my regular readers don’t either. I wasn’t planning to write anything about it, even if it might bring in more traffic. (I’m not selling-out, if you’re wondering.) But I did happen across an angle to the story that includes bacon, which does interest my readers. Curious? Read on.
Pippa Middleton, sister of Princess Kate Middleton, has created controversy by wanting to change the royal wedding reception traditions. They normally serve champagne and some dish that I don’t know how to spell, but she wants to have a disco ball and serve bacon sandwiches. She is a part-time party planner, so she does have some experience. Plus, how can you go wrong with bacon sandwiches? (I should’ve had those at my wedding!*) I don’t know if she was successful on her quest — I’d guess not, since they probably serve only fancy food with foreign names. I’m sure I could find it online, but again, I don’t care enough to look. What they ate is their business, though it could’ve been even better with bacon.
* So why did I not have a buffet of bacon at my wedding? It would’ve been one of the best wedding receptions ever! (If you’re married you may already know the answer.) Well, it wasn’t my day, and I didn’t plan that stuff, nor would it have been “appropriate” — there’s something about traditions and what’s normal. I don’t know about all that stuff… Being the guy, I just put on a tux and showed up. It is her day, after all. I have lots of ideas to make a wedding ceremony and reception much more awesome, but they’re not “storybook” type things. They would be worth writing a story about, perhaps, but they didn’t fit into my wife’s storybook. I let her have her day. It’s one of those compromises you make in a relationship. Since, I’ve hosted numerous “Buffet o’ Bacon” outings, and there are more to come. (They are all documented on this blog, if you want to search for them.) My wife had her day, so I’m having mine. And to be “fair”, I figure I can have a few hundred of my outings before I catch up with the cost of her very special day. 🙂
Buffet o' Blog 
Holiday Inn Express
One thing I have learned is that British bacon is not at all the same as American bacon. This is very important, should you ever be in a position to chose between them.
American bacon, as we all know, is made of pure flavor, distilled down to the essence of crunchy.
British bacon is usually boiled, and the result is sad soggy strips of pig flesh. Not only is it entirely un-crunchy, it is devoid of any recognizable flavor.
In short, if someone from England offers you bacon, it’s because they don’t like you.
Thomas Wayne
Soggy bacon??? Really?
So why would they want soggy bacon at a big event like that? Are they ignorant of American bacon?
If they really don’t know, we should tour Europe with our Bacon Wagon and we’d be the most popular thing going. Imagine how people would rejoice upon trying American bacon for the first time! You would need no paid advertising after the first samples were given out!
We would probably make a ton of money, too…
MangoMan
Sorry TW, I have to take exception to something you said (and I quote) “I figure I can have a few hundred of my outings before I catch up with the cost of her very special day.” while I understand the premise of where you are coming from, I have to insist that the ‘cost’ of some of our bacon concoctions far outweighs mere dollars. remember the ‘gutbomb’? (a.k.a. bacon wrapped croissant fiasco)
in a totally different train of thought… if we ever do start a bacon-wagon, we should sell ‘remember the gutbomb’ tshirts… kind like they sell ‘remember the alamo’ tshirts (and for pretty much the same reason)
Thomas Wayne
Yeah, there was an added cost there, and that’s why I didn’t eat the gut-bomb. Sure, bacon grease and croissants sound good, but when the consistency of the bread was like butter at room temperature, I figured something bad was gonna happen. It was one of those few times in life when I didn’t have to learn something the hard way.
I like the idea of “remember the gut-bomb” for humorous reasons, but I’m not sure that’s good marketing for a place that sells food… 🙂