I finally put up Christmas lights
My wife decided she wanted Christmas lights on the outside of the house this year. She’s been bugging me for weeks to put some up, so I finally did. But now that I did, she won’t talk to me. Women are just so hard to please!



19 International Talk Like A Pirate Day — ARR! This day becomes more famous (infamous?) every year. It always made working in a corporate environment a little more fun, because several people would participate. If only the leaders would let that kind of talk continue during meetings…
22 Elephant Appreciation Day — Do all animals get a day of appreciation? Apparently not, because I’ve now went through the whole year of unusual holidays, and there weren’t very many listed about animals. So what makes elephants special? Is it their size? Their memory? The world may never know…
24 National Bluebird of Happiness Day — Once again, infamous explorer extraordinaire Burford had been mere feet from capturing the elusive Bluebird of Happiness. The bird was walking toward Burford’s grasp, when a chimpanzee farted, scaring away the bird in a startled frenzy. Burford usually laughs when chimps pass gas, but this time it was no laughing matter. Burford walked over to the chimp and pooted in his face. The chimp promptly slapped Burford’s butt and laughed hysterically.
30 National Mud Pack Day — What’s a mud pack? Is that where women cover their face with mud and put slices of cucumbers over their eyes? That’s silly. Although, if you’re paying someone to cover you with mud and vegetables, that’s even more silly. (But think of what kind of profit margin those businesses have!)