Warning : May contain more than your daily recommended allowance of randomness
I just had my first baby, and even before that I figured I knew absolutely nothing about babies — I had never held one, never changed a diaper, etc. But Mango-Man sent me this picture of baby-care DOs and DON’Ts, and this helped me to realize I do already know a few things after all. Maybe I’m an expert already, because I knew all this stuff! 🙂
Saw an article the other day that started with this sentence:
If there’s one thing we need more of in America, it’s eight-pound hamburgers.
That’s something you don’t hear too often. There might’ve been a touch of sarcasm if you read in-between the lines (even though it’s only one line). Besides, who could even eat an 8-pound hamburger? Probably not even Adam Richman of Man v. Food fame.
What we do need is restaurants offering more options on burgers — like to include copious amounts of bacon, fried egg, various cheeses, ham, different sauces (BBQ, chipotle, cheese dip), etc. Actually, perhaps bacon should come standard on all burgers. Why wouldn’t you want bacon on your burger? [pause to venture deep in thought] I got nothing.
This is just another reminder that Buffet o’ Blog needs some venture funding to start our own restaurant.
I just added my first minion clone (baby) to my entourage, and for some reason she’s most awake around 4:00 and 5:00 AM. I don’t understand. I also don’t comprehend how almost nothing gets done around the house besides caring for the baby, even though the wife and I are both home right now. That’s why the blog has been somewhat neglected of late. Hopefully my schedule will eventually find a new “normal”.
On a lighter note, I’ve had a lot of people ask if we needed anything. That’s quite gracious of them. It’s nice to have friends and family who want to help. But after hearing this numerous times, I noticed the frequent use of the word “anything”. So I started to wonder if there’s anything the baby needs that I’m unable to provide at this time. I thought of a couple of things that would be really, really helpful that I don’t have: a college fund, and a live-in nurse. I mentioned this to a few people when they asked, but they seemed to think I was kidding. I suppose they must’ve been kidding about the use of the word “anything”. 🙂
By the way, in case Captain Literal or any of his followers are reading this, I know what they meant. It’s a joke. Lighten up. I’m trying to have fun despite my lack of normal sleep.
The other day I painted the baby room, and the paint was supposedly odor-free. That was a lie! It might be reduced odor, but there was most definitely still a paint smell to it. At least it was VOC-free, so hopefully it wasn’t harmful.
One nice benefit of the paint is that it’s supposed to absorb odors. (So shouldn’t it absorb its own odor? If so, then wouldn’t it not smell when you open the lid? But it did, so their claim smells fishy, er, well, painty. Whatever.) The odor-absorbing feature will be a good thing in a baby room, with all the upcoming diaper changes. Maybe I should repaint the bathroom while I’m at it… 🙂
BTW, the name of the color is “potentially purple”. (It’s for a girl’s room, and it’s a nice compromise of not being hardcore pink). It’s definitely purple, so I don’t know what is “potentially” about it. It is or it isn’t. But what do I know about colors — I’m a man. To men, there are 16 colors, and you can have light or dark variations of those colors. There’s no need to know the names of 16.7 million colors.
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