Today we’ll continue our series of quotes from cartoons.  I hope you’re enjoying this as much as I am.  These bring back so many great memories, besides making me laugh.  And laughing is fun — you should never forget that.  Plus it’s healthy — laughter does good like medicine, some say.  Now with the preliminary intro paragraph written, let’s get to the actual quotes :

I am merely a vessel through which genius flows. ~ Homer Simpson

I didn’t do it, nobody saw me do it, you can’t prove anything. ~ Bart Simpson

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad.  And I’m tired of making other people feel good about themselves. ~ Homer Simpson

You want the truth?  You can’t handle the truth.  No truth-handler, you.  I deride your truth-handling abilities. ~ Sideshow Bob, from The Simpsons

The three little sentences that will get you through life:
1- Cover for me.
2- Oh, good idea, Boss!
3- It was like that when I got here. ~ Homer Simpson

Aww… isn’t that cute… BUT IT’S WRONG!!! ~ from 2 Stupid Dogs

We all make mistakes; just make that your last. ~ Space Ghost

I hate oatmeal cookies, they make me go. ~ Moltar

Bjork: I have to go to the toilet.
Space Ghost: You do remember the difference between the toilet and the sofa, right?
Bjork: I think so.
Space Ghost: And remember how angry I got…
Bjork: It smells like… bad eggs…
Space Ghost: Well, that’s what happens when you boil the cushions of the couch you’ve been urinating on.
~ Space Ghost Coast to Coast

Meltdown is just a buzzword.  We call it unrequested fission surplus. ~ Mr. Burns, on the Simpsons

Rocky: We’ve got to THINK!
Bullwinkle: This is no time to take up a new hobby.

That makes me very angry. ~ Droopy

I’m a rambling idiot, rambling everywhere; I’m a rambling idiot, in my underwear. ~ Brak

Say yer prayers, ya flea-bitten’ varmint. ~ Yosemite Sam

You realize, of course, that this means war. ~ Bugs Bunny

Nothing spoils the taste of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. ~ Charlie Brown

On the moon, the weekend has advanced beyond your wildest dreams.  Weekends now take up the entire week, and jobs have been phased out accordingly. ~ Inignot, from Aqua Teen Hunger Force

One egg left!  For a nutritious breakfast, two eggs is the minimum requirement, and I have but one, which is much less than two, and it is two that I need.  Curses!  I must immediately purchase some eggs, for I need to have breakfast, and without the eggs, I cannot have the breakfast that I so require! ~ Mojo Jojo

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery. ~ Calvin

It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what’s cool. ~ Calvin

Don’t you hate it when your boogers freeze? ~ Calvin

As a math atheist, I should be excused from this. ~ Calvin

The sky turns red as the sun sets because all the oxygen in the atmosphere is catching fire.  The sun sets in the west.  In Arizona actually, near Flagstaff.  That’s why the rocks there are so red.  People don’t get burned up because the sun goes out as it sets.  That’s why it’s dark at night.  The sun doesn’t crush the whole state when it lands.  Hold a quarter up.  See, the sun’s just about the same size. ~ Calvin’s dad

Me Grimlock no nice Dino, me bash brains. ~ Grimlock, The Transformers

Megatron: I would have waited an eternity for this.  It’s over Prime. ~ Transformers, The Movie

Quintesson: You are the Autobot called Kup.  You are Cybertron’s chief of security.
Kup: Nah, my name’s Teaspoon, and I’m Cybertron’s chief dishwasher.
~ Transformers

You know gang, when you’re a superhero, you never know where the day will take you.  You may find yourself halfway around the world in the shark-infested waters of true-to-life living.  Or you may find yourself going down to the store for a lozenge.  You can’t know, can you?  No!  You gotta ride that wave, you gotta suck that lozenge!  ‘Cause if you don’t, who will? ~ The Tick

I don’t know the meaning of the word surrender!  I mean, I know it, I’m not dumb… just not in this context. ~ The Tick

I have no respect for a man who draws a weapon on one who has none. ~ Rurouni Kenshin

Space.  It seems to go on and on forever.  But then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you. ~ Fry, from Futurama

A good captain needs abilities like boldness, daring and a good velour uniform. ~ Captain Zapp Brannigan, from Futurama

Who are you, and why should I care? ~ Bender, from Futurama

Cubert J. Farnsworth: Your explanations are pure weapons grade balognium.  It’s all impossible.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Nothing is impossible.  Not if you can imagine it.  That’s what being is a scientist is all about.
~ from Futurama

“I think you’re feeling the Christmas Spirit, Skeletor.  It makes you feel good.”
“Well, I don’t like to feel good!  I like to feel evil!  Ohhh!”
“Don’t worry, Skeletor…  Christmas only comes once a year.”
~ He-Man, Skeletor, and She-Ra in the He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special

Mall Santa: Ho ho ho!  And what can I bring you?
Stewie Griffin: Oh, a peace offering, is it?  Very well…  What say you trim those gin-soaked whiskers and bring me some plutonium?
Mall Santa: Well, can you be a good boy, hmmm?
Stewie Griffin: Your inquiry intrigues me.  Can any of us be a “good boy?”  Are our primal urges innate or the result of the choices we make?
Mall Santa: OK, wrap it up, kid.
Stewie Griffin: All right, Kringle, if the reward is plutonium, then your wager is accepted.  I will be…”nice”.
~ Family Guy

Here’s a link to bring up the other posts in the quotes from cartoons series.  It’s all good…  🙂

How about some funny Christmas quotes?  Well, they may not all be funny, but they’ll at least be random.  Although if you happen to expect it, then it won’t be random.  Whatever…  Here’s some quotations about Christmas.  Enjoy.

Wee fish, ewe, a mare, egrets, moose, panda, hippo, gnu, deer.
(Sung to the tune of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”)

Christmas is weird.  It’s the only time of year when we love to sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of our socks.

There has been only one Christmas — the rest are anniversaries. ~ W.J. Cameron

I have a long-standing complaint with Christmas… long-standing in check-out lines, that is. ~ Thomas Wayne

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?  Claustrophobic.

Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns?  Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music. ~ Tom Sims

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. ~ Bernard Manning

There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. ~ Erma Bombeck

You know you’re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger. ~ Robert Paul

And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so?  It came without ribbons.  It came without tags.  It came without packages, boxes or bags.  And he puzzled and puzzled ’til his puzzler was sore.  Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before.  What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store.  What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more. ~ Dr. Seuss

It’s time for part 2 of our tribute to cartoons.  We’ll use the same format as part 1.  Your side of the deal is to just sit back and enjoy.  If you want to do a little more, say the quote “in character”, and/or try to figure out which episode these were from.  Either way, just make sure you have a good time.  All the shows referenced by these quotes are funny.  (If you don’t enjoy cartoons, there’s something wrong.  You need to loosen up and try to enjoy life.  Do you get offended easily?  Perhaps you need to laugh more.  Laughing is good for your health — it’s like jogging on the inside.  So put aside your way-too-serious demeanor and enjoy the randomness presented here for you.)  With all that out of the way, let us begin :

It’s a beautiful day, but not as beautiful as me. ~ Johnny Bravo

Superheroes and evil twins go together like peanut butter and… EVIL peanut butter! ~ Earthworm Jim

I anything can’t do right since because pickles. ~ Spongebob Squarepants

[LASSIE: Bark! Bark!] “What is it, girl? [LASSIE: Bark!] There’s trouble at the ranch? [LASSIE: Bark!] Hmmm… trouble at the farm. [LASSIE: Bark!] You say Brak was bitten by a rattlesnake? [LASSIE: Bark!] Where is he, girl? [LASSIE: Bark!] He’s at old man Tibby’s farm? [LASSIE: Bark!] Farms have chickens. Corn! Let’s ride!” (Flies off) ~ Space Ghost

You know love is a happy time. All throughout the universe. It’s when the male part of the species goes to the female part of the species and says: “Hey, do you want to go on a date?” And then she would say: “Why yes, I’d like to go on a date.” If you’re LUCKY! And then you go to a restaurant, and she gets something called a salad. And then he gets a big piece of beef, that he eats. And that to me ladies and gentlemen, is LOVE. Kinda makes you cry, doesn’t it? ~ Brak

Hey you kids, get out of my moat, it was not meant to be played in. I must remember to destroy those kids after my breakfast has been eaten. ~ Mojo Jojo

It’s been brought to my attention that you’re not using both sides of the toilet paper. You’re wasting a ply. ~ Phil Ken Sebben, on Harvey Birdman

Ya know what? I’m happy. ~ Droopy

Yeah? Well, I talk LOUDLY and I carry a bigger stick. And I use it, too! WHAM! ~ Yosemite Sam, on foreign policy

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. ~ Calvin

You know what I like to do when someone’s talking to me? I stare at the person’s chin. I’ll nod and respond to whatever he’s saying, but I keep looking at his chin and changing my expression. I look quizzical at first, then vaguely repulsed, and later, quietly amused. Then I’ll suddenly arch my eyebrows and blink a lot, and then I look skeptical and disbelieving. You get bonus points every time the person loses his train of thought. ~ Calvin & Hobbes

People pay more attention to you when they think you’re up to something. ~ Calvin

I don’t think Bambi Eyes will get you that flame thrower… ~ Hobbes

Boy, everyone is stupid except me. ~ Homer Simpson

Marge, the reason we have elected officials is so we don’t have to think! ~ Homer Simpson

Beans are neither fruit nor musical. ~ Bart Simpson, on the blackboard at school

It’s gonna take a lot of fireworks to clean this place up. ~ Homer Simpson, from The Simpsons

I am Adam. Prince of Eternia and keeper of the secrets of Castle Greyskull. This is Cringer… my fearless friend. Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword and said… By the power of Greyskull! ~ Prince Adam (a.k.a. He-Man)

Wreck-Gar: Yes friends, act now, destroy Unicron. Kill the Grand Poobah. Eliminate even the toughest stain! ~ Transformers, The Movie

No force in the universe can stop me. ~ Optimus Prime, Transformers

And so, may evil beware and may good dress warmly and eat lots of fresh vegetables. ~ The Tick

Life is a big wild crazy tossed salad, but you don’t eat it, no sir! You live it! Isn’t it great? ~ The Tick

I am mighty! I have a glow you cannot see. I have a heart as big as the moon, as warm as bathwater. We’re superheroes, man! We don’t have time to be charming! The boots of evil were made for walking. We’re watching the big picture, friend. We know the score. We are a public service, not glamour boys! Not captains of industry! Not makers of things! Keep your vulgar moneys. We are a justice sandwich, no toppings necessary! Living rooms of America, do you catch my drift? Do you… dig? ~ The Tick

The comments section is now open, if you want to share any memories or other thoughts inspired by these great cartoons.