preparing for the upcoming robot rebellion

I don’t know if you saw this in the news, but it’s scary that our world might soon be overrun by good-robots-turned-evil.  I know, some of you probably think this is another far-fetched imagination of mine, but here is the link to prove you wrong: Experts Warn of “Terminator”-Style Military-Robot Rebellion.  This report was funded by and prepared for the U.S. Navy’s Office of Naval Research.  So this ain’t no joke!

It’s ironic that they’re warning us of this before such robots are even created and deployed.  But that obviously means that this is a very serious threat, one not to take lightly.  I think this calls for a constitutional amendment!  We currently have “the right to bear arms”, which is to protect us, but that won’t keep us safe from Terminator-style robots that will surely be bulletproof.  So obviously we need access to some high-tech weapons, such as ones designed only to combat robots.

Since our government moves at the speed of molasses and doesn’t care about our rights anyway, we need to design our own robotic weaponry, for our self-defense, of course.  Well, the testing would be fun, and until this apocalyptic robot war comes to pass, these robots could cook for us and bring us our food.  You don’t want them sitting around rusting away, do you?  🙂

Also, since these futuristic military-grade robots may possess some type of Wi-Fi mind control powers to “convert” our robots to the dark side, we need our own robotic exosuits, complete with full weaponry (and a tea dispenser).  (This has been discussed here before.)   That way, even if the robots malfunction, we can save the world ourselves.

This may sound too far-fetched for some of you, and that’s okay.  That just means you aren’t part of the solution.   Unfortunately, that also means you will be at the rebellious robots’ mercy until we save the day.  But never fear — I’ve had lots of practice saving the world.  Granted, it’s been with video games, but have you seen how realistic they are these days?  I’m sure my mad skills would translate well to real life.  (Have you seen the TV show “Aaron Stone”?  It worked for him.)

One thought on “preparing for the upcoming robot rebellion

  1. Reinvestment Researcher

    Does there appear to be a need for qualified professionals to undergo sufficient research in the area of “HomeLand Security”???
    hmmmm. interesting.

    I smell an oversized and very profitable though unnecessary government grant. 🙂

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