Tag: global warming

studying gas from cows

In an effort to reduce global warming, scientists are now studying flatulence produced by cows.  This is from an actual news article:

Argentine scientists are taking a novel approach to studying global warming — strapping plastic tanks to the backs of cows to collect their burps and farts. … Scientists at the National Institute of Agricultural Technology in Castelar, Argentina, will analyze the gas collected from cows. Scientists around the world are studying the amount of methane in gas expelled by cows and Argentine researchers have come up with a unique way to collect and analyze it. …

“When we got the first results, we were surprised. Thirty percent of Argentina’s (total greenhouse) emissions could be generated by cows,” said Guillermo Berra, a researcher at the National Institute of Agricultural Technology. Berra said the researchers “never thought” a cow weighing 550 kg (1,210 lb) could produce 800 to 1,000 litres (28 to 35 cubic feet) of emissions each day.

Notice that these scientists are studying and analyzing gas from cows.  How would you like that job?  I bet it stinks to have to do that every day!  (Pun very much intended.)

But maybe these scientists are onto something.  If a cow is producing more than its fair share of methane, then that’s not fair to the rest of us.  Likewise, I know some people who produce more methane than a normal human should.  Perhaps the government should require them to add Beano to their food…

why dinosaurs may kill us all

Global warming is a big concern to many these days.  It does appear that there has been some warming in recent years, although there’s much debate on whether it’s mostly man’s fault or not.  But I found an article recently that says there may be a bigger contributor to global warming than anything man has done.  Mankind emits about 7 billion tons of carbon per year.  But this new source may contribute 500 billion tons of carbon.  And it may cause global warming to accelerate at a rate that we cannot stop.  Are you curious yet?

The “new” source of carbon is actually very old.  It’s dead animals from a long time ago, like prehistoric times.  According to some scientists, their organic matter was stored in the frozen Arctic tundra.  But now that the permafrost is melting, this is being exposed.

So if this “new” contribution to global warming is the downfall of all mankind, we can blame the woolly mammoths and saber-toothed tigers and dinosaurs, because it will be their dead carcasses that doomed us all.  Go figure…

You can read more on that here.

So, what can we do about this potential end of the world?  Let’s get the discussion started, since there are numerous important geniui here (both good and evil).  (And yes, even an evil genius should try to help, because if all life on earth ends because of this, there will be no world to conquer, and his life’s work would be in vain.  But I digress…)  What can we do to save the world?

aerosols reduce global warming

In an online discussion of global warming and whether or not man caused it, I found something interesting :

Between 1961 and 1990 (actually it’s more like 1940-1970), there was not a cooling. There was a halt of global warming. There is evidence that this was caused by aerosols. However, it is difficult to prove with any certainty.

And think about this — in the 1990s, the government started banning aerosols.  (That might’ve helped the decline of the ’80s “big hair” debacle.)  So when aerosols went down, global warming increased.  If that correlation is true, then I’m going to start spraying aerosols to offset all this global warming!  Now, to some of you, that may sound boring, but that means you’ve never sprayed an aerosol towards an open flame such as a lighter.  You have an instant flamethrower.  I’ve always wanted to build a flamethrower.  I might also look into building a jetpack based on the burning of aerosols.  That way I could get around quickly and save the environment!

Yep, I think it’s time for the Buffet o’ Blog Research & Development department to start building a flamethrower and jetpack using aerosols.  Both of these products would sell on their own, but if they’ll reduce global warming, then they’d sell like hotcakes (or better, even).  I wonder what Al Gore will think about this?  Maybe I’ll make my own movie and make millions…

Are plants contributing to global warming?

Plants play an important role in preventing global warming, because they absorb carbon dioxide (CO^2) and convert it into oxygen via .  Well, I’ve heard that global warming is on the rise because of too much carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.  So this obviously means that plants aren’t doing their job.  I mean, that’s the main task of plants, right?  I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to eat them (although animals do, which is important, I reckon), so their main purpose of existence is to convert carbon dioxide into oxygen.

flowersSince plants obviously aren’t fulfilling their basic life requirements, it’s time to take action.  I’m going to start suing greenhouses and plant outlets who are selling us defective plants and shrubberies and trees.  You may think this is crazy (and maybe it is), but hear me out.  Mother Nature has taken care of Earth for thousands of years.  Plants always did their job, and life continued on as it was designed to.  But in recent years, there have been stores that sold us plants, some of which were genetically mutated and stuff.  Obviously that’s why the plants are malfunctioning.

Someone has to hold these places accountable.  I should’ve seen this a long time ago.  The grass in the field behind my house grows just fine naturally, but when my yard was sodded for the first time, the grass didn’t grow well at all.  Why?  Because it was bought from a store.  And that’s not all — my wife got some flowers from the store and planted them, and they died not too long after that.  They were even watered extra beyond what the rain naturally sends, yet they died.  That’s just not acceptable.  That’s causing us to spend more money, and now I learned that the early death of these plants can contribute to global warming!  I shudder to consider how many people buy plants and shrubberies that die before their time, and now there’s too many greenhouse gases in the atmosphere.  What is this world coming to?