Tag: cows

Does poop contain gold?

The other day I was in a conversation that got random really fast. Someone started sharing some scientific trivia, and they said you could burn a bucket of cow manure and get some rare elements like gold. I was immediately skeptical and made that known. They went to get their book of random scientific stuff (not the actual title) and found the reference. It turns out that someone had taken cow urine and boiled it to produce something useful. At this point I’m still skeptical, but figure since it’s actually published in a book and not just some obscure blog, it’s worth a minute of research. The results were surprising (and not all related to the original article)…

Apparently some doctor in India believes that cow urine has healing powers and can supposedly cure 70 to 80 incurable diseases like diabetes. It’s also sold as “highly effective products for preventive medicine” in some countries. (So if you don’t get sick, it worked, and you should buy more!) However — and this is important — there is thus far no scientific proof about it healing anything. Some studies have shown that it can lead to significant side effects, including death. So I wouldn’t recommend it. But it is good to use as fertilizer to grow actually edible food…

During my research, I saw where one guy said, “I drink cow urine every day. That is why I do not have Covid right now.” That is faulty reasoning, and it could easily be countered by someone saying they do NOT drink cow urine at all, and thus they don’t have Covid. But then again, how many people who drink cow urine every day catch Covid? The number has to be really small, right? (Surely there are very few people who could even be in that group.)

Some doctor made a “wonder drug” of cow’s milk, cow’s urine, cow excrement (soaked in water), and butter, and they claimed it will cure “99 percent of diseases”. I’m no professional doctor, but I’m fairly certain that’s a load of crap (both literally and figuratively).

Back on point, there has been someone who claimed to have found gold in cow urine and dung. Perhaps if you want to investigate the microscopic level you could find some — I have heard that ocean water has gold in it, but it’s such tiny amounts that it’s not worth doing anything with.

Thanks to the internet’s amazing ability to lead you down rabbit trails you didn’t even know existed, I just learned that human poop does contain trace amounts of gold, silver, platinum, copper, and rare elements like palladium and vanadium that are used in cell phones and computers. So is your poop worth its weight in gold? Not quite. These particles are about 100 times smaller than the width of a human hair, and of course there are other non-valuable particles in there to sort through. (That job would stink!) It’s estimated that an American city with a population of 1 million sends down the drain about $13 million worth of precious metals each year. So maybe it’s worth finding some automated way to filter it. Actually, I bet this becomes a legitimate business someday, when someone figures out how to efficiently extract the valuable elements from all the worthless elements.

People have tried to figure out alchemy for years (converting a metal into gold), but perhaps this is the closest we’ll get.

studying gas from cows

In an effort to reduce global warming, scientists are now studying flatulence produced by cows.  This is from an actual news article:

Argentine scientists are taking a novel approach to studying global warming — strapping plastic tanks to the backs of cows to collect their burps and farts. … Scientists at the National Institute of Agricultural Technology in Castelar, Argentina, will analyze the gas collected from cows. Scientists around the world are studying the amount of methane in gas expelled by cows and Argentine researchers have come up with a unique way to collect and analyze it. …

“When we got the first results, we were surprised. Thirty percent of Argentina’s (total greenhouse) emissions could be generated by cows,” said Guillermo Berra, a researcher at the National Institute of Agricultural Technology. Berra said the researchers “never thought” a cow weighing 550 kg (1,210 lb) could produce 800 to 1,000 litres (28 to 35 cubic feet) of emissions each day.

Notice that these scientists are studying and analyzing gas from cows.  How would you like that job?  I bet it stinks to have to do that every day!  (Pun very much intended.)

But maybe these scientists are onto something.  If a cow is producing more than its fair share of methane, then that’s not fair to the rest of us.  Likewise, I know some people who produce more methane than a normal human should.  Perhaps the government should require them to add Beano to their food…

the special days of July, pt 3

Now we will once again continue our look at the special days / holidays / observances / celebrations of July.

  • 14 Pandemonium Day — Should we really schedule a day of sheer bedlam and utter chaos?  Don’t we have enough things going wrong naturally?  Or, was this holiday thought up for us to create pandemonium on this day?  Hmm…
  • 15 Cow Appreciation Day — One website said to “Go out and give a cow a hug”.  I’ll have to pass on that one.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate cows.  There’s not much better than a good cheeseburger or steak.  I’m very thankful for those foods.  But I don’t see the need for me to go hug a cow.
  • 17 Peach Ice Cream Day — Peach?  There’s a lot of ice cream flavors I’d prefer to celebrate before peach.
  • 17 Yellow Pig Day — What?  Are there yellow pigs?  I glanced online, and found that this day is also dedicated to the number 17.  Huh?  Is this Sesame Street?  Is this day for mathematicians?  If so, wouldn’t they prefer a better number?
  • 18 National Caviar Day — I know a guy who used to give caviar to his cat.  (This was the free version of caviar.)
  • 19 National Raspberry Cake Day — I don’t think I’ve ever had a raspberry cake, but I’d try it, especially with some ice cream on the side.
  • 19 Stick Your Tongue Out Day — Do this after you’ve had some raspberry cake.  🙂
  • 20 Moon Day — I’m not sure why the moon needs a holiday.  I know, this day is to celebrate when Armstrong and Aldrin landed on the moon in 1969, and that was a big step for mankind or somethin’.  But what value does the moon provide to us?  Besides, the moon is broken.  I’ve written a number of articles about the moon (which you can search for by clicking here).
  • 20 National Ice Cream Day — Can you imagine a world without ice cream?  I sure don’t want to try!  So today, don’t take ice cream (or milkshakes) for granted.  Eat all you want, and be thankful for it.
  • 20 Ugly Truck Day — This truck is the winner…
  • 20 Chess Day — CHECKMATE!  I win, you lose!  Oh, what’s that?  You didn’t even know we were playing?  That’s how fast I am.  Don’t feel too ashamed… it happens to everyone I play.
  • 20 Ice Cream Soda Day — Why is this so close to National Ice Cream Day?  This year (2008), they fall on the same day (because Ice Cream Day is the third Sunday of the month).  This is a great day, and it should not get lost by being so close to a day when you’re already eating lots of ice cream.
  • 21 National Junk Food Day — Lunch this day will consist of Cheetos, with a dessert of Hostess Ding Dongs.  Mmm…
  • 21 Monkey Day — If you’re an aspiring evil genius but can’t yet afford the dues for the minions’ union, you can use trained monkeys for a while.  That’s what I hear, anyway…
  • 22 Hammock Day — This would be a good day to take a nap in a hammock.  That is, during work hours.
  • 23 National Hot Dog Day — It’s already National Hot Dog Month, so why is it also a day?  Are we supposed to eat even more on this day?  That might not be a bad thing, but this holiday seems kinda redundant.
  • 23 Vanilla Ice Cream Day — It’s also National Ice Cream Month.  But this day focuses on vanilla.  If the vanilla flavor is too, um, vanilla for you, try adding crumbled-up Oreos and some Hershey’s chocolate.  I’ve personally researched this combination, and it gets my approval.
  • 23 Ice Cream Cone Day — This should be self-explanatory.
  • 23 Mosquito Day — This day, however, should not exist.  Are we supposed to celebrate mosquitoes?  As far as I’m concerned, they’re evil.
  • 24 Cousins Day — I have to buy enough presents at Christmas, so we don’t need more holidays like this.  Although, if you have cousins, then you’re a cousin.  Just don’t tell them about this holiday, because it’s definitely obscure, and go out and buy yourself something.
  • 25 Culinarians Day — This is a special day for anyone who cooks.  If you don’t like to cook or just don’t want to on this day, you can go out to eat at a restaurant and be thankful for the cooks there.  🙂
  • 26 All or Nothing Day — Some might apply this day to gambling, but I don’t endorse gambling, so let’s apply it to food.  On this day, you either eat all you can eat or you eat nothing.  And since our body needs food anyway, you should visit all-you-can-eat restaurants and enjoy yourself.
  • 26 Aunt and Uncle Day — Why?!?  Nothing against these family relatives, but this doesn’t need to be a holiday.  Was this created by Hallmark?  Is this another attempt at a “greeting card holiday”?  No, thanks!
  • 27 Parent’s Day — This is on the fourth Sunday in July.  Again, this is a useless holiday.  I’m thankful and appreciative of my parents, but they already have days devoted to them: Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.  No mas, por favor.
  • 27 Take Your Pants for a Walk Day — Who comes up with this silliness?  I mean, you already walk with pants on all the time.  To make the day more unique, why don’t they change this day to “take a walk without your pants” day?
  • 27 Bugs Bunny’s Birthday — This isn’t a holiday, per se, but it’s worth mentioning because he’s an legend in the world of cartoons.  Bugs Bunny first debuted in cartoons in 1940.  They just don’t make cartoons like that anymore…  (BTW, also this month was Marvin the Martian’s birthday, on July 24, 1948.)
  • 28 National Milk Chocolate Day — This is a great idea for a holiday!  Eat all the milk chocolate (or chocolate milk) you want.  Remember that diets don’t apply on holidays.
  • 28 Hamburger Day — I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.   🙂  The hamburger, or cheeseburger, is so important to American culture that it should be celebrated each week, I think.
  • 29 National Lasagna Day — Garfield would like this, huh?  I like it, too.
  • 30 National Cheesecake Day — You know what to do — eat cheesecake this day.  That’s the obvious part.  What you might not have thought of yet is that you should arrange to have a cheesecake sent to Buffet o’ Blog headquarters.  (Don’t worry if it’s not the actual date — we’ll appreciate it whenever it is.)  I’ll even post your name on the blog, for all to see your generosity.  🙂
  • 30 Father-in-Law Day — What?!?  Isn’t this already covered by Father’s Day?  Another redundant holiday.
  • 31 Mutt’s Day — Apparently this day is to recognize the dogs that aren’t a pure breed.  Have you ever wondered if you’re a mutt?  I haven’t.  By the way, I mean, not that you’re a dog, but just not a pure breed of a subspecies.  But if you are a mutt, don’t feel bad, because most people are fine with mutts.   I wouldn’t pay hundreds of dollars for some dog just because he came with “papers”.  Free puppies are better than paying lots of money for one.

Well, we finally finished the special days of July.  I hope you found some you could celebrate.   Click here to search for the other entries for July.