viewer mail, issue #18

One of the regular readers here recently mentioned that we haven’t put out an issue of viewer mail in a while.  They are correct.   And there is no good excuse for it, because it’s a fun series, and there’s plenty of material to work with.  Perhaps the writers are slackers.  So to light a fire under them, I told them they had to put out a new episode of viewer mail or they’d go to bed without supper.  That is sufficient motivation, so now we have the next issue of viewer mail.

As usual, this is based on actual search terms used to find this blog, and I’ll focus on the ones we haven’t already written extensively about.

Click image to see a larger, more tempting picture.

* large sausage & bacon sandwich — My dream of the future is that someday we’ll be able to download stuff like this.  Just type it in at a certain site (or select it from pictures), and it’s downloaded through the Internet.  Although I wonder if the tubes of the Internet are subject to artery clogging… Why would I worry about that, though?  I’m American!  Here’s the kind of breakfast sandwich I would download — bacon, sausage, copious amounts of cheese, held together by grilled cheese with bacon.   (There could hardly be a better breakfast sandwich, unless you add some milk gravy.)

* buffet calories — This is an invalid request.  The whole nature of a food buffet is unlimited, so if you’re wanting to count calories, you should avoid a buffet.  The great part of a buffet is that you get to eat what you want, in whatever combination you want, and however much you want.  That’s why it’s called “all you can eat”.   If you don’t eat all you can eat, you’re getting ripped off, because that’s what you paid for.

* homer simpson freak out — Your search returned 7,352,809 results.   🙂

* barack obama thinking — Your search returned 0 results.   (That was too easy…)

* super awesome bacon sandwhich — See above.  Actually, there are a number of bacon sandwiches (and other awesome bacon foodstuffs) documented here.  You can click on the “Food Critic” category, and many will either start with bacon or have it added.  (It’s inevitable that someone will always say “needs more bacon”.)   One of the Food Critic entries is a massively stacked , with many layers of bacon.  You can also search for our Buffet o’ Bacon series, where we conduct our own bacon recipe research, involving the Buffet o’ Blog important chefs (of which there are several).  There you’ll find some bacon dishes you’ve probably never thought of before, and it may make you hungry.  🙂

* women have bad moods — Your search returned 380,599,248,107 results.  (I hope I don’t get in trouble for that!)

I’d better wrap this up before things get too crazy.   Actually, I suddenly have a powerful craving for bacon…  Time to exit stage right to search for bacon!

Obama and the oil spill

I’m sure President Barack Obama thinks he’s completely competent to handle all situations as President of the United States, but his mishandling of the oil spill in the Gulf might prove beneficial to him.  Perhaps the oil spill was Obama’s crude awakening.  🙂

caption contest, Obama trying to be cool

I usually don’t involve politics in the weekly caption contest, but with all that’s going on this week (i.e., national health care), I figured it’s a good time.  So this week’s photo features President Barack Obama in a room full of people, and he’s giving a fist-bump to some other guy.  Obviously Obama is agreeing with that guy, or at least trying to act cool, and the other people in the room appear to have mixed emotions about whatever is going on.  It’s your job to write the caption for this picture.

The only rules are that you keep your comments clean, and make an attempt to be funny.  I expect some of you will want to make a political rant about the new health care bill, and that’s fine, as long as you try to make it funny.   This is a humor blog, not a political discussion forum.

(To see the other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)

caption contest, Barack Obama and John McCain

I realize we’re past the election between John McCain and Barack Obama, but they still have to work together occasionally (or at least they claim to be bipartisan).  Either way, who needs context for a caption contest, right?  This week’s photo features the two of them shaking hands while Obama makes an additional hand gesture.  Feel free to use creative liberty in writing a caption — it doesn’t have to be realistic, just funny.

As usual, keep your comments clean, and remember this isn’t the place for serious political rants.  You may make a short rant as long as it’s funny and relevant to the photo, but put your serious bloviating elsewhere.

(To see the other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)