a girl’s first football game

I usually post only original stuff here, but one of the regular readers sent in a joke that many of you might appreciate, since it involves football and puns.  So here’s an exception to the normal content.

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. After the game, he asked her how she liked it.

“Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and the big muscles, but I don’t get why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”

Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello? It’s only 25 cents…”

What do you mean “out of bacon”???

I went to a local Mexican restaurant at lunch today, and there was a problem.  One of the guys with me ordered fajitas with steak, chicken, shrimp, and bacon, which is an excellent combination.  Sometimes I order that dish, but today I changed it up.  I ordered a dish called pollo zapata, which is like pollo asado (grilled chicken breast covered with cheese dip) but with mushrooms and bacon.

When the waiter (who I know) brought my food, he said, “Sorry, we’re out of bacon.”  That’s it.  The rest of the food arrived, but to me it was incomplete.  The bacon from this place has a good smoky flavor, which is most excellent.  (Of course, it’s good regardless, because it is bacon, after all.)  He didn’t inform me until my food was delivered, then nothing extra was done about it.  That’s disappointing.

I asked my friend if his fajitas had bacon, and they did not, but the waiter didn’t even say anything to him about it.  Needless to say, he was disappointed also.

So what should they do when bacon is missing?  I’m sure there’s varied opinions here, but they could at least let us know before they fix the food, in case we want something else.  Or they could offer a discount.  Or they could include extra cheese dip.  But nothing was done.  That’s also disappointing.

Maybe this is just another sign that the Buffet o’ Blog staff should open our own restaurant.  If we had the required funding, I have no doubt that we could create one of the most awesome restaurants ever.  We have so many great ideas.  Plus, we’d make sure we didn’t run out of bacon!  If our stockpile was ever in danger of reaching its expiration date, we’d cook it up and give extra bacon to the customers.  Or we could put up a sign outside that said “FREE BACON!”.  I guarantee that would bring in some extra customers!

See, why don’t other restaurants think of stuff like this?  Obviously we must have a dizzying intellect, or have boundless inspiration and creativity, or think so far out of the box that we’re like, “What box?”  Or maybe all of the above.  Either way, we have a copious abundance of epiphanies when it comes to designing the ultimate restaurant.

We would like to see this come to pass, for a few reasons — it would be exciting; we’d want to eat there a lot; it would make lots of money.  So if you’re an investor type person with lots of extra money, have your people contact our people.  We’ve been documenting our restaurant ideas for a while now, and we’d like to see this come to pass.

Wimpy’s burger challenge

We’ve reviewed Wimpy’s burgers before, and in summary, they’re awesome.  Well, now Wimpy’s has a burger challenge for those who dare to attempt it.  It is a burger with approximately 4 pounds of beef and a 10″ bun, with a pound of battered french fries, and a 24 oz. shake.  I saw a picture of it next to a double, and it was HUGE.  When I went, 5 people had attempted it and all had failed.  They have the challenges on Tuesday nights.  I talked with one of the workers about it, and she said it was a good time.

I don’t plan to take this challenge.  I might could’ve eaten it back when I had a metabolism, but not now.  But if any of you would like to take it on, I’ll go along to provide commentary and document it on the blog.

Visiting Wimpy’s website today, I see that someone conquered the burger challenge this week.  I’m impressed.  That’s 5-6 pounds of food plus a shake.  And that’s a lot of beef to eat at one sitting.

caption contest, fight during game

This week our caption contest features a fight during some type of sporting event.  It looks like either soccer or rugby, although you can of course make it be about whatever you want.  Your role in this exercise is to write something funny to explain this picture (although you also get to enjoy what other people write, of course).  You can approach it from any angle.  The only rule is to keep it clean.

(To see our other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)