slide from bedroom to swimming pool

The other day I was talking with someone who also would like to have a pool for exercise (as well as general enjoyment).  It’s no-impact and thus low-stress on your joints, so it’s great for exercise, especially when recovering from injury.

We talked about how great it would be to have an indoor pool, where you could open it up to the outside in good weather.  Then I remembered this picture of an indoor pool with a slide from an upstairs bedroom.  I had heard Mike Tyson had something like this in his house, but I haven’t found any evidence of that.  This is a 3D rendering from house plans other than his.

We discussed how awesome such a setup would be, and someone joked that Tyson had the slide from his bedroom to the pool so he could escape quickly from tax collectors.  (And here’s where the randomness begins, so hold on for the ride.)  The pool could’ve had a secret tunnel to the outside.  A neat way to quickly escape would be to have a giant pump to drain the pool to an outside location.

If you’ve got a giant pool that can be flushed, and there’s a slide from your bedroom to the pool, and you’ve got many millions of dollars to waste, you could have the pool be a giant toilet.  Just picture it — you crawl out of bed, have to go urinate, so you go down the slide, pee in the pool, and hit the big flush button.  This would be wasting thousands of gallons of water just to flush the toilet, but this is all about being over-the-top extravagant and wasteful.

This story is already kinda random, but this discussion was happening late at night, so it kept going.  If you’re using the pool as a giant toilet, you might poop in there sometimes.  Picture an Olympic-sized swimming pool, water swirling, with the poop being the last part to go down.  It would take several minutes.  If someone was coming over to visit and would be using the pool, you might have to distract them while it flushed.  Otherwise they might think you had squirrels or beavers in the pool.  It would also take a while to refill a big pool, so you might need your own water tower on your property.  (It’s just money, right?)

The story continued, involving squirrels eating corn, but it’s probably not as funny reading it as it was at the time, so I’ll stop there.  Feel free to continue the rambling if you think of something.

Oh, and there was also a comment that there might be protesters outside the premises because of the immense wastefulness.  (Of course you’d have a big fence and gate, as rich people do.)  Someone said when it was time to wash the protesters off the sidewalk, you could use the water from the pool to flush the sidewalks clean.  🙂  (How’s that for recycling?)

world record lunch break

I would like to hold the world record at something.  I wonder what the record is for the longest lunch break…  That sounds like something I could accomplish.

Smurfs movie trailer

Have you heard that there’s a Smurfs movie in the works?  Yes, all ’80s cartoon franchises are subject to being made into movies.  You can watch the trailer here: SmurfHappens.com.

Honestly, I don’t have high hopes for this movie.  But the involvement of Neil Patrick Harris is promising.

The trailer gives the impression that they’re going to overdo the use of “smurf” as a means-everything word.  If there’s that many in the trailer, how many will there be in the movie?

I find it kinda ironic that one of the Smurfs has a Scottish accent.  Weren’t they all from one location?  Isn’t it odd that one (and possibly only one) of them would have such a different accent?  Oh, wait, I probably shouldn’t try to make this realistic at all.  And I’m certainly not complaining, because I like hearing a Scottish accent.  At least it’ll have that going for it.

Who wouldn’t want a flamethrower?

I have my computer setup to rotate through a certain folder of pictures for my wallpaper, and recently this was the picture:

Click image for a larger version (which makes a great wallpaper).

My wife came in the room, and I pointed to this and said I want one of these for Christmas.  Without missing a beat, she asked, “What would you do with it?”  I figured I shouldn’t get too elaborate (because that might concern her), so I said, “To burn stuff.”  Vague, I know, but women seem to not appreciate things like flamethrowers…  I don’t get it — how could it not be awesome?  There’s no shortage of ideas that would be awesome to try if I had a flamethrower (especially a military-grade flamethrower like the one shown above).

What would you do if you had a flamethrower?