Someone online decided to listen to a Yanni CD, to write a review.  (Note: we don’t recommend doing this.  Well, unless you have trouble sleeping, and then it might help you out.)  Anyway, this is a very unusual review :

My life is officially over.  Not only have I now actually listened to a Yanni record, but I actually didn’t absolutely hate it.  It’s kind of like when you’re wiping your [butt], and your hand accidentally slips into the nether world of poopyness, then by some unknown force, you feel compelled to smell your hand.  And even though you know it’s supposed to smell like [poop], and it does smell like [poop], there’s still a somewhat pleasing quality to it.  This record, in all measures, is an absolute piece of crap. … But despite this, I still couldn’t help but smell the poopyness, and find it a little bit appealing. ~ Daniel Taylor, review of “If I Could Tell You” by Yanni, 03/2000

I reckon what he’s saying is : if you like smelling your own poop, you’ll like this CD.  🙂

Here’s a few quotes to lighten up your Monday morning.  Go ahead, laugh a little.  At least smile.  If you can’t smile, then the forces of Monday have overpowered you and you need help.

Did you know, 50% of doctors graduated in the BOTTOM HALF of their class.

I’m going to ask you a question, and I want the truth!  Do you know how to breakdance? ~ “Stone Cold” Steve Austin

To make your bathroom breaks at work more fun for everyone, you should cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

I was thinking about how the status symbol of today is those pagers that everyone has clipped on their belts.  I can’t afford one so I’m wearing my garage door opener.

Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.

I think the key to my homemade “olde-tyme” peanut butter cookies is the great care I put into crunching up real peanuts into a smooth consistency.  Either that or the added saliva. ~ Brad Simanek

My wife must think I’m an idiot!  “Separate the white clothes from the colors.”  Ha!  Whether I separate them left-to-right or top-to-bottom, the washing machine will still mix them all together anyway! ~ Chuck Bonner

Did you laugh or at least smile?  If no, then you need help.  I’m sure someone here can help you.  First, try reading many posts at this site.  There’s some funny stuff here.  If you still never get amused, then there’s some serious issues.  You might’ve become a zombie, or a femi-nazi, or a “workaholic coworker”, or a politically correct person.  If any of these things apply, seek professional help.  It’s important to laugh!  If you are getting offended a lot, that’s a problem also; that would mean you need to get a life.  Our time on this earth is too short to waste it being offended at people’s stupidity or to walk in self-righteous indignation (which is also stupidity).  (Hey, maybe I should write some proverbs… hmm…)

Anyway, laugh often.  If there’s not enough humor happening around you, try to be funny yourself (if you can).

The good thing about my alter ego, Underachiever Man, is that I don't have to change clothes when I use my super powers. ~ Phillip Garding

They say that genius is 99 percent perspiration and 1 percent inspiration.  Then again, so is mowing the lawn. ~ Tom Sims

91% of Americans that suffer from indigestion would rather retake the SAT than watch a Yanni concert.

You know that guy who made the movie Super-Size Me, in which he gained 31 pounds after eating nothing but McDonald's food for an entire month?  That dude totally ripped me off!  I did it first, except he filmed it or something. ~ Miles Walker

It's sad when you're at a baseball game and realize that you'll never have the money, status or talent that the guys on the field take for granted.  And it gets even worse when the grounds crew gives way to the players. ~ Anthony Myers